Mom's 60th bday party

al1bye

I'm trying to set up a surprise 60th bday party for my mom.  A new restaurant (Chicago Uno) opened up in town and I was thinking about reserving their party room for the occasion.  Is it improper to have guests order/pay for their own meals?  If so, should I just downscale the party to cake/ice cream & drinks at another venue?

6fsn

I'm going to answer this based on my parents.  They would be mortified if I invited their friends to a party and then asked them to pay for something.  It might be okay in the 20-30 yo crowd, but most 60 yos wouldn't "go dutch" for this.  For each of my parent's 60th we went out to dinner as a family then had their friends in for cocktails and cake and some munchies.

GatorWedsNole

I think it depends on your guest list, if it's just you/siblings/grandkids - then I don't see any problem at all with splitting the check. 

If you're thinking of inviting her co-workers, neighbors and friends, then it might be awkward to let them know they that they have to pay their own way.

HTH!

Catalina17

6fsn:

I'm going to answer this based on my parents.  They would be mortified if I invited their friends to a party and then asked them to pay for something.  It might be okay in the 20-30 yo crowd, but most 60 yos wouldn't "go dutch" for this.  For each of my parent's 60th we went out to dinner as a family then had their friends in for cocktails and cake and some munchies.

This. If you can't pay for everyone, then just have a small family dinner out, and have a party with friends later....you can serve cake and coffee or something.

Maybride2

Ditto everyone else. My parents would be mortified and embarrassed if I hosted a party for them that required their guests to pay for their own meals. Hell, I wouldn't host that type of party for people of my age group.

If you want to let others know that you'll be having dinner at Unos and that anyone who wants to join you is welcome to, that's kosher. But you can't invite people to a party at a restaurant and then tell them that they're on their own for food without being rude.

leahkate

It depends on the crowd and the invitation. Now in our family/friends, we often say, "We're going out to eat at such and such for X's birthday." If you do it this way, people expect to pay for their own food. But if you host a "party" I would not expect to pay for the food. Parties are hosted and food is provided IMO.