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YH's Birthday... what do you all do?
So, MH's birthday is the day before his mom's (July 5th and 6th, respectively). Historically, his family has always celebrated them together on the same day. And while I'm not opposed to that, I've always wanted to have a non-joint birthday celebration for MH but his family always sabotage it. (Last year, I had to make enough food for twice the amount of people, including 2 cakes-- one for him and one for his mom. And his sister insisted on just having a joint party "since you're already doing one for Wayne." Thanks for respecting my "are you free to come to Wayne's birthday party?" invitation.)
Anyhow, this year, his mother beat me to it by deciding and arranging it so that there is once again a joint party for them both on the 9th at her campsite-- I just love eating her garbage camp food (nothing like potato chips and the cheapest meat hamburgers, burned of course, for a meal!) and trying to keep MH's birthday cake cold in a camp refrigerator!
But whatever. I'm not baking a special cake for him this time, until I throw him his friends-only dinner party. (I'm INSISTENT on doing this for him, this year-- I will NOT be deterred or sabotaged by his family!)
My question is what do you guys do for your DHs? MH's friends are mostly out of state, as they are his old Army buddies. So I'm just curious what you all do-- especially if you have any clever ideas that will save money since I'm pretty skint this year. 
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Re: YH's Birthday... what do you all do?
We're pretty low key when it comes to our birthdays. It's usually just dinner out, possibly with a few friends, drinks, a movie, concert (I usually opt for a massage and manicure) or something else. This year DH and I went to a movie and dinner for his birthday. I also bought him a few video games because that's what he wanted. I made him some cupcakes too.
Honestly, I just make him foods he likes over the day (eggs & bacon for breakfast, beef for dinner, mint choc chip ice cream for dessert) and I ask him what he wants to do and we do it. (Usually he never comes up with anything, and so that's what we do!)
He has a VERY small circle of friends, isn't interested in big to-do's, and we have no spare money so we don't even do anything more than cards. And it's cool with both of us. If I had more money, I'd probably buy an event that he'd like- tickets to an opera, roller derby night out, etc. If he had more friends, I'd have a dinner party or big group dinner out.
It's more about the person choosing what they want to do- what we watch on tv, whether we do something as a family or they get alone time, what to eat, etc.
That sucks that every year it's a double hoopla. Does he seem to mind it or does it just irk you? You never know- it could be a special thing for him to share with his family annually. Or maybe he has expressed how annoying it is to always do the same thing and have to share!!!! If he is annoyed, the best gift you might be able to give is to support him in saying "Mom, this year your birthday can be just about you because I'd like to have an event all to myself for MY birthday. We like different things and want to celebrate in different ways. Can't wait to see you on the 9th, but please don't include me in any cakes or celebration things because we've got our own plans."
Other cheap ideas could be Sea Dogs tickets, a ferry ride around Casco Bay, hiking up in your neck of the woods, a dinner out/ special meal in, extended sexy time, mix CDs/playlists for different events/activities, go to see a movie he's dying to see, um... that's all I've got!
This year, I didn't even see DH for his birthday since he was traveling.... we ended up being in Maine for the weekend after with his family and did a mini-celebration there. For his 30th, we had a bbq at his parents and invited friends and family. Normally, he'll call up one of his buddies and see if they want to go out of for drinks but that is changing as people are starting families. Basically, we'll do dinner (either out somewhere or I'll make something).
So it seems like a lot of you who responded don't even have a family component to the birthday celebration. In my family growing up, we had a family dinner (usually the Sunday before or after our actual birthday) and then if we wanted to, we could have something with our friends. MH's family seems to feel as though they are his best friends (which is nice, except it's kind of in a cult-like way) and they don't even consider a friends-only party as an option.
MH rolls with it-- he is just so used to being the one that compromises or gives in to make his family happy. Since he has been with me-- and been exposed, therefore, to a different family dynamic-- he has been realizing how needy and one-sided his family has been with him. He's been talking a fair amount lately about how he feels like now that he has his own family, he wants to start his own traditions-- especially when we have kids-- and he's not happy with how his family wants to fit in to all that.
Anyhow, you've given me some ideas. I have no money this year, and MH is notoriously difficult to buy presents for since he usually buys what he wants when he wants it (the last huge surprise for him was his Christmas PS3 system-- how do I top that?!?). And your ideas and typical celebratory measures are helping me keep this in perspective. I think we're going to go with a low-key dinner of just a couple friends who live around here. Excellent!
Even though I didn't mention it above, DH's family will usually make him dinner, cake and give him a gift for his birthday with his immediate family. It doesn't always happen right on his bday, but maybe just the next time we see them. Since his bday is right around mother's day we usually see them right around his bday time anyways though and end up doing a combo Mother's Day/DH's Bday celebration.
Well, there's always the universally accepted male gift...steak and a BJ. Steak is optional.
DH and I have birthdays 5 days apart and they happen to fall during the March Maine Restaurant Week, so the last couple of years we've gone out for a nice joint celebration birthday dinner.
I also gave DH a funny t-shirt for his birthday, but he got it two months late because I forgot that I bought it really early and hid it in the closet!
I guess I kind of suck at clever birthday ideas.
ETA: There is a family party that we have to go to with DH's family, but it's usually two or three weeks after our actual birthdays. Five out of the six of the kids/spouses have birthdays in March or early April so they do one joint lunch party for everybody.
Steak and a BJ is a classic. And why worry about clever when the classics work so well? They're classic for a reason!
DH and I have the same birthday. So we get kind of "cut off nose to spite face" and do little for the other because "It's my birthday, why should I make the cake" Sometimes we go out, back when I could take time off we used to take our birthday off and maybe go somewhere. Birthday is in Sept; not a great time to skip work at a school. Sometimes we go out to eat, sometimes we eat in, we give each other small gifts.
My parents have day after each other birthdays too. We always celebrated them as separate events, dinner and cake at one grandmother's - then dinner and cake at the other grandmother's the next day.
Wow, in my house, the steak is the given... your DH is a lucky man
My dad & I have birthdays 6 days apart so we sometimes smush ours together too and do a family dinner then-- otherwise, getting together two weekends in a row is rough.
Oh no, I didn't say that's what DH gets. That's what DH wants! LOL!
I usually make MH dinner of his choice as well as a cake of his choice the night of his birthday! I invite my parents, my brother, my grandmother, his parents, brother (and his wife and 3 girls) and sister (and her 2 kids) over to celebrate! Sometimes his family will come and sometimes they won't! MH never really had too many friends and he only stayed in contact with one. So if Matt and his family can't make it the night of MH's birthday he will set up a time to pick up MH and they will go out to eat, have a drink and whatever else! MH's family is one of a kind and before I started doing his birhday like this.....not a one of them would even call him to say happy birthday
It's so sad! I remember the first year we were together he went to see his parents on the day of his birthday and before he left he said to them "thanks for the birthday wishes, I appreciate it!" and his mom was like "what, today's your birthday? I'm so sorry, we forgot all about it!" Can you imagine! Being so wrapped up with your daughter and her 2 kids that you don't even care about your other 2 son's and their families!! ugh... But anyway! I would do what's best for you and YH! Because at the end of the day, if he's happy, that's all that matters!!
I've given up worrying about DH's birthday and his mother
In the end, it's what he is used to and it's his day.
We usually go to The Steakhouse in Wells (we;re doing it tonight, but his birthday is Sat.) We'll come back here for his birthday pie. After a few years MIL caught on that I make his cake darn it!
Saturday, we'll head up Sebago and go boating. He doesn't really care about doing a whole lot. A good meal and a relaxed day is all he wants. I've done big parties with his friends etc. and I've realized while it's fun, it's more stress and he could take it or leave it.
I definitely hear you on it being a "lean" year!! A dinner party with friends sounds really nice
Tomorrow is Matt's birthday and is the first one we'll have spent together. Because we're going up to Skowhegan on Sat. I took Fri. off to make the weekend extra long and convinced him to take most of the day off (he won't be able to rest without at least checking in at work, ugh). So, we're going out for breakfast, and then whenever he's done at work we're doing whatever he wants - maybe disc golf. His family has a tradition of doing a birthday dinner so we're meeting his fam at Buck's for dinner.
We don't have any traditions, except that Matt likes low-key birthdays that involve a dinner of red meat and a dessert made by yours truly. We've gone out for dinner just the two of us, I've made him the dinner of his choice, we've gone to dinner or drinks with friends or my aunt and uncle. We don't tend to do "activities" for our birthdays but the other person always does the dishes, straightening up, etc.
We're lucky in that we don't have to deal with the family issue. My aunt and uncle are very happy to celebrate with us on our actual birthdays or a later date. My in-laws used to come visit every year, usually on Matt's birthday, but they graciously offered to stop after we got married, saying they recognized we might want to start our own family traditions.
It sounds like Wayne is getting to the point where he needs his own celebration, so I think your idea of a low-key, small dinner with friends is perfect! If it's not on his actual birthday, no big deal. It's the thought that counts. :-)