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A late WTF/ vent, but I couldn't pass it up this week... long
WTF is with DH's family...really?! WTF!!!
First I cannot believe his brother and sister-in-law. The SIL repeatedly blocks then unblocks me from her fb (not that I particularly care since we don't like her at all, but still...it's rude) and neither of them have commented on a single picture of Gracie. Ever. They have not made the effort to skype with us to "meet" her and she is now over 4 months old. We thought this had to do with the brother being in Iraq but he has been home for over two months now and still nothing. They have said that they cannot afford to come visit us, yet just took two spur of the moment trips to Key West and the Smokey Mts in the past two weeks, plus they go out and eat and party constantly so it's obviously just a choice to not be involved or interested at all. It hurts Andy's feelings SO bad and I think it is SO mest up. Yes, it's true that we don't really support their marriage (she is HORRIBLE, you have no idea but we don't tell them that or gossip about them) BUT we are not rude, we do not cut them out of our lives bc they are FAMILY!!!!!!! I really don't even know what to do about it. MIL doesn't want us to say/do anything bc she doesn't ever want to rock the boat, but this is ridiculous! I text them pics of Gracie constantly and i've only heard back once. It is so sad and disheartening!!!
Ugh.
My second WTF is more of a vent. My MIL thinks I am crazy and insane for basically anything I do/believe in/support having to do with the baby. First she thought it was "suicidal" for me to want an un-medicated home birth. That was just the start of many, many things. Don't even get me started on what she thinks about us cloth diapering! Last night she told me I was "crazy" and "insane" bc I don't want my 4 month old watching tv. I told her that the American Academy of Pediatrics say that children under the age of 2 shouldn't watch any tv and that it messes with their brains and leads to ADD. Well, she looked around and said "well, none of us are retarded"!!!! Ugh! I don't care! It's our decision and I don't want her watching tv! I don't really mind if it's on in the background, but don't sit her in front of it! Plus, her kids all have multitudes of problems so like she's one to talk.
I'm just frustrated bc she gives me the asinine excuse of "well, I did it and I/my babies turned out fine!" That attitude bothers me SO much bc thank god your kids turned out ok...but there are many who don't. There are reasons why things are not recommended anymore, and it's a different world now than it was 30/60 years ago! Plus, who knows how you/the babies would have turned out had you done things differently! Maybe you wouldn't have struggled with obesity and installed terrible eating habits in your children and trying to with your grandchildren! There are REASONS behind everything I do so SUPPORT ME, DON'T PUT ME DOWN.
I just know it's going to get worse and worse. Ugh. Thankfully we moved so we have a little distance so I don't have to deal with it on a daily basis...just weekly. But it's sad bc I feel that we can never move back even if we wanted to! I CANNOT have such negativity around me and my baby! Which is sad bc she actually is a very nice lady! Just unsupportive and uneducated (and won't educated her self or believe me or even remember when I tell her things) Oh, and I didn't even get into my other SIL...the most negative person alive who yells at her children and makes me and my hubby want to hide in the kitchen.
I'm just so frustrated. My family isn't perfect either, don't get me wrong. But it's like night and day with these things! My siblings love Gracie and want to visit her all the time. Even my little bro who is so scared of babies has come out and stayed with us 3 times! I skype with my mom every day so she can she Gracie and all of them support every single parenting decision I make! I acknowledge that we have similar parenting styles and views being from the same family, but even if I were to differ from them they would support me!
Guess I just really needed to vent 
ugh.
Re: A late WTF/ vent, but I couldn't pass it up this week... long
Family is sometimes a blessing, sometimes a pain in the butt...sorry you are going through this...and kudos for holding your ground where Gracie is concerned. You are her Mom, and who is anybody to question what you feel is right for your child? Your MIL did what she felt was ok...so fine. She had her turn and made her choices. Now it's time for you and H to make your own parenting decision.
((Hugs)) Here's hoping it gets better for you guys!
I don't understand why anyone doesn't support a mom when she doesn't want to do something that isn't good for a child, but when someone is doing something that isn't good for a child, no one wants to say anything because someone's feelings might get hurt.
I have four nieces and one nephew, and I'm so thankful that I am learning all of these great things from my sisters before I have kids. One of my friends is cloth diapering, and more power to you that can do that! Jen, my sister, had to find a new pediatrician because the one she had with my first niece refused to go along with her vaccination plan that makes them have more shots over time, rather than loading them up and over-vaccinating them! I can't believe someone would talk bad about someone trying to do the better thing for their family. Sounds like you are walking that very fine line very gracefully! : ) Kudos to you for that!
::hugs::
Sorry that you are having a rough go of DH's family. I think its terrible when people are judgmental of the way that other people raise their kids. You have a beautiful baby girl and I think everything is going well so far! I have a niece (who we also call Gracie, really its Grace) and I love everything about her minus the fact I am in NY and they are in San Diego! If it wasn't for skype I would be missing her even more.
Just keep your head up and know that you are doing great and what is best for you and your baby. Vent here anytime that you need to get it out, probably better than going of on DH's family!
This! Right on with my train of thought.
Danie, that's awesome that your sister is trying to spread the vaccinations out! My dad reads a lot of alternative medicine stuff and one of the "hot topics" has been vaccinations, and it's amazing when you think how many shots these little tiny babies and kids have to get. Their immune system is probably going bonkers trying to deal with all of that! (I have info and can get my hands on more if anyone is interested in reading about vaccinations)
Rebecka, I think you're doing the right thing, and standing your ground is hard to do- ever seen Everybody Loves Raymond? Sounds like MIL is kind of like Marie where it's all seeminly well intentioned but she has no idea how rude she is coming off. Keep doing what you feel is right for you and most importantly Gracie!
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