Moving on

kcgrl

Thanks for advice nesties on my SIL. I'll be more cautious about what I post from now on though.

 For the person that had the SIL wear the same wedding dress - - -wow. That is more of a slap in the face than mine. I'm glad you got through it so you could be there when it mattered most for the family. You're the reason I'm trying harder. I don't want this to ruin the rest of our lives - especially since I"m the one that needs to grow up and move on. I decided to respond to her invitation this morning despite wanting to treat her as she has treated us. And I spoke with my DH this mornign about what I can do to engage her more - show interest in her wedding - etc to avoid the sheet of ice at family gatherings. He didn't have an answer but I"m sure we'll work it out. Thanks for setting an example and reminding me that we don't know what the future holds so I need to move on. 

EastCoastBride

I couldn't respond before. My advice - only do what you know won't piss you off. Do you REALLY want to ask about her wedding? If not, then don't go there. Don't be fake. Be nice and pilot. She doesn't respond, doesn't talk to you at all? So be it. Right now isn't the time to try and be buddies. Just be civil and know that you aren't doing anything to make things worse.

kcgrl

Thank you. That is exactly what I have been doing since last years incident. Do I REALLY want to?  Yes and no. We are always civil face to face in front of others. I just wanted to know what other people would do given the situation and then I realized that I never detailed all of the incidents because that would take forever and in the end its probably still me that has to grow up because she doesn't think she's done anything. Thanks again. I appreciate the honest response

trigal

Okay, I'm a little late and I responded to your post below before reading this one.  Glad to see you are taking the high road.  Remember, you don't have to be best friends, but you have to be civil and polite and not petty.

KreativeKirl

I am the girl with the same wedding dress. In the end it was frustrating and in the beginning extremely hurtful, but I knew what mattered most was my moment with my now XH.  It is so true that you do not know what the future may hold. Just continue to be positive and move forward.