Let's talk Drugs/ Alcohol/ Cigs- alright vices

almond1123

So on another Nest board the topic of an 18yo who still lived at home and depended on his parent, posting a picture on FB of what appeared to be him smoking pot with others.  The Step mom was upset and asked for advice on what to do.  She and her DH had been helping SS with money for school, driving test, doctors appts etc.

Another poster chimed in with smocking post for people his age is "normal" and she might be taking it too hard.

My jaw dropped.  I can't even imagine the level of anger, sadness, hurt I would go through if DS ever did something like this.

Maybe I'm a prude but I am 1000% against this.  I don't care about the medicinal purposes.  9.9 out of 10 18 year old's don't have conditions that require medical marijuana.  Recreational use is crap in my book.  I don't even want my kid recreationally smoking cigarettes.  The argument that it's just as harmless as alcohol also doesn't fly with me.

So nesties am I an old fuddy duddy?

[Poll]

almond1123

This is the post that spurred the discussion:

http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/55498119.aspx

PAGAS

I am fine with it being legalized.  I would not want F smoking it, naturally, when she was under my roof.  It's the smoking part that really bothers me.  If she is over 18 and in Amsterdam, I would be fine with her eating a pot brownie...it's legal and I don't see it as harmful.

RaeAnt

For DH and I, drugs of any kind are a huge no-no. Alcohol is a different story (yeah, some deem that a drug too). Dh's parents have had major drugs problems...heck his mom's whole side of the family practically.. has had some major drug problems. DH knows personally the problems that are involved with any drug use. So no drug use is ok with us.
Alcohol, we both feel, that  if the child sees it use responsibly and that we don't have a heart attack at the thought of him trying/tasting it, it won't be a big deal to him either. That said, we also have to be careful because there are alcoholics on both sides of our family; my Dad and several of Dh's close relatives. So while we think having a couple of drinks isn't a big deal, it's still something that definitely would need to be monitored.

TexasHarmony

For many, many reasons that have nothing to do with me being a prude or living a sheltered life under a rock, I am not down with my kids smoking pot under my roof. 

almond1123

Even if were legal the age wold probably be 21 though right?

I have a huge problem with filling your lungs with smoke.  I'm as much against cigarettes as I am pot.

I have a really hard time how this has be come "recreational" and worse just "expected."

 

CindyandScott

I did all of the above in high school and the beginning of college so to me I do think that kids will be kids in trying things. Would I give it out or allow it at my house? No. I did have a few friends whose parents were like that in high school. On one hand we were probably safer there then out and about. On the flip side my DH was the good kid and didn't try anything til college and it was much more short lived then my experiences.

 

*BlueAvocado*

TexasHarmony:

For many, many reasons that have nothing to do with me being a prude or living a sheltered life under a rock, I am not down with my kids smoking pot under my roof. 

This. I take issue with anything that is/is likely to become used/abused as a coping mechanism in life. My message to my future kids will be that you get one life, it goes by faster than you can ever imagine at 18 years old. Live it. Experience it. Feel the emotions it has in store for you - good, bad, and difficult -- without any buffers.

michellebelle

i wouldnt be hurt if m did pot under my roof.

 

i'd be pissed that she broke the law under my roof and used smoke products under my roof.  it is hard to get the smell out. and if it is spilled bong water it is even worse.

 

but i am with PAGAS on this in terms of whether i think it is right or wrong. i would not be upset if M ate pot brownies if it were legal. i will be more angry if she smokes cigarettes.

 

i was straight laced in hs and didnt do any drugs, drank maybe 5 times with my first drunk experience being on graduation.  i expect m to do the same because i expect her to follow the law under my roof.  when she is 18 and not under my roof i think there is room for experimentation but i hope she doesnt feel the need.  drug use doesnt enhance your life - or cigarette use. alcohol only in moderation will be what i teach her.  if pot is legalized i will discourage smoking it and recommend pot brownies in moderation if she wants to try them..  

duchessII81

If it were legal, she were an adult, and I was not supporting her financially? I'd be disappointed but it would not be my call.

Seeing as it's not legal, she's not an adult so I am supporting her financially: "Not okay with it" is an understatement.

kat.in.the.hat

while I'm with Pagas on the legalization of drugs, I hate pot.  Hate it, hate it, hate it.  Hate everything about it and everything around it.  (And this is where you all tell me to lighten up and a take a hit.)

The law breaking part is what bothers me least of it because I'm quite sure M&E will speed at some point and breaking the law is breaking the law.

AmyDrinkie

My issue is with breaking the law.  I have a problem with it b/c it's illegal.

Also, pot brownies are disgusting.

almond1123

AmyDrinkie:

My issue is with breaking the law.  I have a problem with it b/c it's illegal.

Also, pot brownies are disgusting.

  Not that I would know.  Is the whole idea of putting it in a brownie, that you need to hide the taste/ flavor of the pot.  If it's that gross why bother ingesting it?  For the high?  Just sounds revolting to me.

AmyDrinkie

almond1123:

AmyDrinkie:

My issue is with breaking the law.  I have a problem with it b/c it's illegal.

Also, pot brownies are disgusting.

  Not that I would know.  Is the whole idea of putting it in a brownie, that you need to hide the taste/ flavor of the pot.  If it's that gross why bother ingesting it?  For the high?  Just sounds revolting to me.

The brownies taste like they have pencil shavings in them.  I prefer my brownies pot-free, thank you.

PAGAS

AmyDrinkie:

almond1123:

AmyDrinkie:

My issue is with breaking the law.  I have a problem with it b/c it's illegal.

Also, pot brownies are disgusting.

  Not that I would know.  Is the whole idea of putting it in a brownie, that you need to hide the taste/ flavor of the pot.  If it's that gross why bother ingesting it?  For the high?  Just sounds revolting to me.

The brownies taste like they have pencil shavings in them.  I prefer my brownies pot-free, thank you.

@almond it's the same reason why people have a beer or glass of wine after work

@amydrinkie from what I understand, the pot is cooked with the butter, not actually thrown in the brownie batter (which sounds vile)

AmyDrinkie

PAGAS:

AmyDrinkie:

almond1123:

AmyDrinkie:

My issue is with breaking the law.  I have a problem with it b/c it's illegal.

Also, pot brownies are disgusting.

  Not that I would know.  Is the whole idea of putting it in a brownie, that you need to hide the taste/ flavor of the pot.  If it's that gross why bother ingesting it?  For the high?  Just sounds revolting to me.

The brownies taste like they have pencil shavings in them.  I prefer my brownies pot-free, thank you.

@almond it's the same reason why people have a beer or glass of wine after work

@amydrinkie from what I understand, the pot is cooked with the butter, not actually thrown in the brownie batter (which sounds vile)

Correct.  It still tastes bad.

04JaxBride

i have never smoked pot.  my kids sure as heck better not do it under my roof!!!

while i believe that yes, breaking the law is breaking the law... when you get into stuff like illegal drugs, it's a whole different ballgame. illegal drug possession is different, to me, than a speeding ticket.  especially when you think about background checks for getting jobs and stuff.  ESPECIALLY if it's habitual.

i have to admit, the curiosity kills me (the free-thinking creativity aspect...lol). DH grew up in Oregon and i'm sure he smoked it from time to time.  when we visited his friends in san francisco, they sparked it up.  i just can't get past the illegal aspect of things.  how on earth do you explain something like that to your children?

michellebelle

Almond, brownies are healthier because there is no smoking involved. and like Pagas said, it has the same effect as a beer or glass of wine.  BUT whilw it is illegal M sure as hell better not do it while i am in charge of her or at my home when she is a grown up.

ZAngel

Being a former "HS druggie" I'm in the kids will be kids group.  I know at some point kids are likely to try pot.  I wouldn't allow it under my roof, but I wouldn't stop paying for their school or kick them out if that is all they did.  I think it really depends on the child.  If they were lazy, not helping around the house, making bad grades, and being disrespectful (smoking it inside the house when asked not to)... then that is a different story.  The pot would be a "last straw" and out they go.  If it is just an experimental thing, grades are good, attitude is good and they respect my wishes for not bringing it home... then I don't see an issue.  I would make it clear, "you get caught with it, you're on your own".  No get out of jail free cards around here.

rayskit10

I'm kind of like ZAngel. I...um... "experimented" a lot with pot in HS and some in college (I was kind of over it by college to tell the truth). I haven't smoked or done other drugs in years and my husband never even tried anything even once. I want out house to be drug free. If my kids get caught (by us) smoking pot, I'll make a stink about it and punish them, but behind closed doors I will have more of a "kids will be kids" attitude. They will never know that, though.