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feeling sad
Hi i'm new to nest and just needed to get something off my chest. so just a couple of days ago on facebook i was looking to see if i could find my sister. whom ive not seen in 17 years couse her mother took her from my dad(long storie).
Now ive been looking for her some time now. I'm ten years older then she is so what happened was that I finelly found her i was so scare to write to her that i only asked her to be my friend so she excepted so i was planning to explain who i was when i decided to write to her mother first. It went totally wrong her mother told me she didnt want anything to do with us she does not want to bring up her past and just to leave her alone.
So before i could respond i got deleted from FB and blocked from seeing her profile she didnt even give me a chance to respond back i'm in shock and upset half my life ive been looking for her now that i have that ive finelly found her she dose not want anything to do with me or my sisters . that is what her mother said . so should i leave it alone and move on or try agin to speak with her.
Re: feeling sad
It's best you let this go for now.
I really have no idea when she will be receptive to the idea of speaking with you. It may be soon, it may be some time in the future or it may be never. There's no way to tell.
I know you are looking for closure and to make a situation right. Your intentions are good and well intended, but I guess she is not ready to head in that direction yet.
Sorry for your troubles. Wishing you well.
Sorry that happened to you.
I'm not trying to give you false hope, but it's possible that this is entirely her mother's feelings and she never even told your sister that you had reached out to her.Even if your sister WAS the one to say all this, though, if she's young then she's only hearing her mother's side of the story. And if her mother left your dad then I'm sure her mother is only telling her about the bad things, and maybe even embellishing things to make your dad out to be an awful guy.
How old is your sister? Young, right? (Since you said you contacted her mother first for permission.) You could always wait until she's 18, or maybe a little older when she's totally off on her own, and try contacting her again to see if (a) she was truly the one who didn't want to speak with you, and (b) if she feels differently about it when she's older and has had time to process it and come to her own conclusion.
Again, though, sorry that you didn't get a chance to speak to her. It's a shame that you two kids got dragged into the two parents' mess.