sigh, husbands

rnin02

I've tried to type up my vent a couple of times, but it just gets so wordy and convoluted. Can I just say my DH is really pissing me off today? Essentially he decided to work from home today, but then got angry (in a really whiny, annoying, spiteful way) that DS and I were home and making too much noise for him to be able to work.  Really...what did you expect? We have a small (900 sq ft) 2 bedroom apartment, no where for anyone to really go to get away from anyone else, and DS is almost 3, so yeah, he's going to be making noise. I was trying to get ready to get him and I out of the house for a bit when DH stormed out. Without his lunch I might add, even though I reminded him, so he's going to be super pleasant when he gets home.

Pam&John

From what you're saying here, I'd agree you have a right to be annoyed. But rather than fight the issue, perhaps when he comes home you can tell him that you understand he's annoyed, but if he wants to work from home, he needs to give you advance warning so that you can plan an activity to be out of the house. He has to understand that your lviing quarters are what they are and there should not be any expectation of silence with a child in the house during the day.

It may also be that he was frustrated bc he wasn't thinking that all the way through when he made the decision to work from home spontaneously. Does he do this often? Or was the last time when your son was an infant (slept more, was more quiet, etc.)?

Breathe.

MrsHabious

Ugh, I am sorry.  I had to work from Thursday because we had some contractors there.  DH was talking with the contractor right in front of the table where I was working and I was on a conference call.  I kept making hand signals and snapping noises to get his attention and take his convo to a different room.  Definately feel  both sides of the issue!

rnin02

Its a relatively new thing that he has the ability to work from home, and typically he only does it on days DS is at daycare and I am sleeping (after working). In his defense, today I was supposed to be sleeping and DS was supposed to be at daycare. But I got to leave work around 11 last night, so I didn't have to sleep during the day, so he knew I was going to be awake and doing things around the house. DS was still going to go to daycare, but I overslept and by the time I woke up is was way too late for DS to go. I was actually under the impression when I went to bed that I was driving DH to work today so this was definitely a spontaneous decision. I feel bad he couldn't focus, but he was beyond rude and nasty about it. Just frustrated.

Pam&John

gotcha. so it was a harmonic convergence of bad events, planning, and outcomes. here's where I'd take the high road and call truce - no one was wrong, no one was happy, no one "wins." call it a day and try to plan better the next time bc it sounds like its all in the planning with a child and a small living space.(I'd be frustrated, too, by his reaction; I'm not trying to make that go away.:)