Need some advice...

MrsMirMaz

So many of you probably read my G/B/U and saw the ugly with Matt's grandparents. I have to be honest that it really bothered me and I'm not going to just get over it. I understand I joined an old school Italian Catholic family but there needs to be some level of common respect. MIL suggested that we give them a call and invite them to lunch. I feel like a brat for saying this but I don't feel like we should have to reach out to them. They are in the wrong whether or not they'll ever admit it. And beyond that, I have nothing to say to them right now that won't end up with me yelling or in tears. At the same time, I don't want to ignore MIL's suggestion and possibly hurt my relationship with my in-laws. I'm extremely torn. Matt says he supports whatever I want because our family (he and I) is most important. Any advice? I know it's kind of something only I can decide but wanting some perspective. Should I be the bigger person and face em or just hope this whole things blows over?

MrsKtotheE

I totally understand why you would be hurt and offended.  I would be too. I think anyone would be really.  And personally I don't necessarily think it should be up to you to facilitate something.  If DH wants to I think that would be nice or even MIL.  I can't imagine hearing them say they don't care to see the video of your wedding.  I would be seriously hurt and I would not want much to do with them.  Maybe Matt needs to take this opportunity to sit down with them and tell them how much it hurt him and offended you.  

TinyMrsH

this must be so hard for you, and youre right that the responsibility should not fall on your shoulders. I would say, this time just this once, be the bigger person. Call them and invite them to lunch. If they accept then hopefully Matt will speak up for how offensive they were to you, and if they decline then that just speaks volumes about them. If you need time, I say take a few weeks before you call. Or call and make the lunch date for a few weeks out saying you need time to get settled from the wedding.

 

I do know that God teaches acceptance and love of all his creatures, and it does not appear to me that this is very much about religion for them. 

akhunter1

First of all HUGS!! I can only imagine how hurt you must feel by them.  But it sounds like you have an amazing husband who doesn't care if you are Jewish and it is amazing that his parents accept you and want to participate in understanding your faith.   You are not the first couple that are Jewish and Catholic, I have several friends that celebrate both holidays.  His grandparents are clearly not as open as he is and that is a reflection of his parents and they way that they raised him. 

If his grandparents aren't ready to accept you and judge you based on your religion that is their problem and they aren't lucky enough to open up and get to know YOU as a good person and not need that to be afflicated with a religious belief.  Their loss! 

risa1818

I totally agree with PPs. I can imagine how hurt you are, and it is very terrible of them to act like this, but if they are not willing to come around then forget them. You don't need that negativity when you are just starting out a new married life together. I think it is wonderful that both of you partake in each others religious ceremonies and holidays and for them not to see that is very narrow minded. I also think it's funny that people who claim to be super religious tend to be the more intolerant ones of others! 

I say enjoy the fact that you, your DH and both of your families are not like this and love both of you no matter what. I hope they eventually come around. Don't let his get you down MRS.!! 

breaness

TinyMrsH:

this must be so hard for you, and youre right that the responsibility should not fall on your shoulders. I would say, this time just this once, be the bigger person. Call them and invite them to lunch. If they accept then hopefully Matt will speak up for how offensive they were to you, and if they decline then that just speaks volumes about them. If you need time, I say take a few weeks before you call. Or call and make the lunch date for a few weeks out saying you need time to get settled from the wedding.

 

I think Brandi said it best. I would reach out and see what happens. It never hurts to be the bigger person.

 

-big hugs-