Family Matters
kcgrl
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
How would you take this?
I have two SIL's. One is the blood daughter, the other married the oldest son, and I married the middle child. (The black sheep remember?)
So this makes the second time that while having dinner with his parents and my SIL has looked at her mom and said "You know mom, I don't know which one of us is your favorite - me because i"m your only daugther or MaryJane (name change) because she had your first set of grandchildren." And this is being said completely out of the blue.
My initial response is... wtf? Why is that the second time you did that? Am I over analyzing this or is she finding ways to signal me out ?
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home D
Re: How would you take this?
She likely is signaling you out - and not really being too kind about MaryJane's position, either.
Next time I would respond with raucous laughter. I mean, tears from your eyes, belly laugh.
If she responds to that at all, just tell her you think it is so humorous, but in a sad way, that she's so insecure as to have to ask, but to continue to ask.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I'm curious what your MIL's response was. This SIL is obviously an insecure a$$hole. How uncomfortable for your MIL to try to come up with an answer that doesnt upset someone! I do think she was trying to single you out but dont let it bother you. She clearly has problems to say things to intentionally make anyone uncomfortable. I would probably call her out if she did it a third time though, with a remark like "Oh its so sad you wouldnt just assume as her real daughter you'd be the fav and need this reassurement" or "its so sad you continuously put your own mother on the spot like this due to your own insecurity".
sounds like you should take a cue from your mil and graciously ignore the sil's comments. if she really did say that on purpose, then responding to her in any way is just giving her exactly what she wants. if she never gets a reaction, she'll stop doing it.
LOL. My parents really like DH, but he is not their son. He even said "I'm just a means to and end (grandchildren)."
I would never in 10 million years want my FIL to have me be a "favorite" of his (thankfully, b/c he has dementia and every time I see him I have to re-introduce myself and remind him that I am his son's wife). I am probably a nicer person, smarter, and less after his money than any of his bio-daughters, but they are HIS DAUGHTERS.
I am ALL for the type of ILS who love their DILs and SILs like their own, but you shouldn't feel bad if it doesn't pan out thqat way. I think that is the exception to the rule, even when the ILS truly love their children's spouses.
She is clearly trying to take potshots at you. I have a SIL who used to behave very similarly (we moved away, Praise God). Yes, she wants you to feel badly. Yes she wants to make you feel as insecure as she obviously feels. My advice (coming from someone who made the mistake of actually *caring* what my ego-driven, napoleon complex SIL said about me, and I reacted to her, which was DUMB)...do your best to just NOT care. If you take away your reaction to a person, you take away their power. She is looking for a reaction. Don't give her one. I realized this too late, after I had already declared full tilt war on my SIL, and things had gotten ugly, capital U.
She is insecure, she is trying to make you feel bad. Pity her.