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When you receive a birth announcement...
Do you feel obligated to send a gift?
I've never felt this way but my mom does. Maybe it's an older generation thing? I asked my parents and MIL to send me names of people who they wanted to receive a birth announcement so I could make address labels in advance. My mom's list (outside of family) is small because she doesn't want people to feel obligated to send gifts. However, MIL's list includes people I have never even heard of - people who weren't invited to our wedding or baby shower. I'm sitting here wondering if these people are even going to know who Rob and I are when they receive these announcements because Rob and MIL don't have the same last name. I definitely don't want these strangers to feel obligated to send gifts.
My other concern is the cost of these announcements. I don't want to add any more people to the list because announcements aren't cheap and neither is postage. I thought MIL's list was done but she just sent me another 4 names - 3 of which I don't know.
Would you say something to your MIL about how you're feeling or suck it up and send the announcements to these people who you've never heard of? If you think I should say something, how would you word it? Thanks ladies.
Re: When you receive a birth announcement...
Zoey Emma 08.18.10
Well you're nicer than me, b/c outside of known family on MIL's side, I wouldn't let her have a "list."
But I would probably just dole them out and say something like we ordered X and here are yours to send. So if you order let's say 60, you all can send 30 and each grandmother gets 15 to send herself.
ETA: No I don't feel the need to send a gift either.
Wives Unscripted
And I like Shaina's idea of giving the grandparents so many they can have sent.
My first instinct would be not to send them. However, your MIL might have been talking to these people for a while during your pregnancy about her upcoming grandchild so they might realize who you are when they get the announcement.
And honestly I've only gotten birth announcements from close family/friends that I would have bought gifts for anyways once the baby arrived so I can't answer that question.
My Knot Bio My Blog
That was my first instinct too.
Ha! This!
No but seriously, We only sent them to people we know. Family, friends, second cousins, etc. A few of them sent gifts afterwards (like 3-4 people out of 50). They we're all older, and mostly it was excitement that we had a girl. She's the first girl born into Damians side of the family (including his cousins) since his mom was born. So they had all been dying to buy frilly things. And we got a really nice locket necklace for her, that his great aunt had been holding onto (she got it from a former lover when she was a teenager) to give to a girl in the family.
All in all, it's your baby. Send the announcements to whomever you want. The grandparents are going to be so proud they'll tell everyone anyways.
I'm a breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, anti-CIO Mommy
Raising Bean
Wives Unscripted
Married my hero on 10-11-08
Our bean was born on 05-19-11
No, I've never felt the need to send a gift. However, I'll say it's almost always for people I've already given a gift to.
I didn't ask Nick's mom or dad for a list of who they wanted announcements to go to. My mom asked me if I could send one to two of her friends and I did (and would have anyway, they were like second moms to me).
You could say, the announcements only come in increments of x and the next increment up is $x so are you able to cut your list back? She may offer to pay for them since she's got money :P.
Good idea. Maybe I'll do that.
The only announcements that I have ever gotten were from people that I had already given a gift to. Had I not, I still would not have felt the obligation to.
We are only sending announcements to people that we (Ben and I directly know). I am not even asking my parents or his if there are people that they want us to include. I figure, if they are not on our list, they probably could care less that we had a baby.
October 11, 2008
Trusty Gal blog|Trusty Tales
No I don't feel obligated to send a gift if I receive an announcement.
I didn't ask my mom or MIL if they had anyone they wanted me to send them to. I only had 50 of them and that was most of our family and close friends.
Alexander David
11.25.09
my blog
I have never felt obligated to send a gift.
If I got a lengthy list from my mom or my IL's of people that weren't even invited to the wedding, I would definitely ask them about it. If they say that it's important to them or whatever, I would suck it up and send them. If they just want to send an annoucement to a co-worker or something, I would probably just ask if they could share pictures around the office instead of sending an annoucement.
Mrs. Little Drew 10/25/08
Blog
TTC since 1/2010 - Dx with Stage IV Endo
11/10 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
12/10 - Unmedicated cycle due to RE not doing treatments in December = BFN
1/11 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
2/11 - Same sh!t, different month = IUI cancelled due to no response = BFN
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Haha, my FIL is the SAME way! We just went home this weekend for a picnic that was thrown to introduce my BIL's new baby to his family & friends. There were 50 some people there that FIL invited that many of us didn't know. Same thing happened to our wedding list.
I loved Shaina's idea about giving her a set number of them to send out. Also, to answer your question, I usually do send a gift when I receive an announcement.
BFP on 2.2.11