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Vent: Disgusted (Violence a Spectator Sport?)
Yesterday some friends and a few close family were at my nephew's 1st birthday party at a VERY local Mom's Group meeting place, called "The Field House". It's pretty much set up exactly like a daycare/preschool. Anyways, so while the festivities were happening, a couple of adults, myself included, were standing out in front chit-chatting and socializing. All of a sudden, as I'm walking back into the building, I hear yelling. There's a man and woman having a very loud argument about 30-40 feet from the Field House in front of a park that is directly next to the building we were in. All of a sudden, the man punches the woman in the face, and when she rebounds her head from the hit, he slaps her. My first instinct is to call the police. My phone was dead, so I ran inside and said "someone call 911, there's a man beating up a woman outside by the park"...did anyone hand me a phone? Nope. EVERYONE instantly said "what? where?" and ran outside. I'm frantically looking to anyone to give me a phone to call the police, but instead am left alone in the Field House because all the parents want to watch the whole thing go down. So I run outside as well, still asking people for phones...and no one is giving a crapola that this poor woman is being beaten in public. Finally, one of the mom's at the party (whom I had just met about 15 minutes prior), has her phone in her hand and it looks like she's dialing 911. Then she yells "I'm calling the police! Take it somewhere else!" So the guy rushes to his car, gets in, and speeds away. The woman, still crying, goes to her car, gets in and drives away. I actually said "Don't say that! Don't let them leave! The police need to get him!" After the mom said what she said I said "Oh good, you're calling the police" and she said (verbatim) "No, not really. I just didn't want that stuff in front of a kid's birthday party. I'd rather they take it somewhere where we don't have to see it" WTF!!!!?????????
I find it thoroughly disgusting that I was the ONLY one who actually cared enough about a stranger's well being to call the police, and everyone else either wanted to move it out of their sight (out of sight, out of mind), or watch. Finally about 5-10 minutes after the couple left, a Dad called the police and handed the phone to me for details about what happened and the vehicles they were driving. I felt incredibly alone in trying to do the right thing, and everyone looked at me like I was an alien for wanting to help.
I understand that what happened wasn't OK in front of a toddler's party, I get that. But at the same time, what that man did is NEVER OK. At the same time that the kid's don't need to see that happening, they also needed to learn that when you hurt someone like that, there are consequences...and if you're ever in need, someone will help you. Maybe I'm totally on the soap box with this, but I just found it sickening that only one person in the entire group was willing to call the authorities and help the poor woman while everyone else wanted to watch. It feels like violence has become a spectator's sport.
Re: Vent: Disgusted (Violence a Spectator Sport?)
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I am absolutely disgusted and cannot believe that's the reaction you encountered. Truly, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this.
I hope that woman is OK and staying far, far away from that man.
Wow! I'm speechless. Were all the men at this party a bunch of pussies??? Sorry to be harsh, but there is ZERO doubt that if my husband or any of our guy friends had witnessed this, they would have intervened. I guess I just run around with a bunch of "good ol boys" but I can't imagine that any one of my guy friends would have just watched and not done something.
I'm also sad that no one at least cared enough to call the cops (aside from you!) It sounds a lot like the bystander effect. Everyone is waiting for everyone else to be the one to do something. So sad for that woman.
I'm the same way. J was in the bathroom changing the baby when it all went down, so he didn't even know what was going on until they drove away. When he heard what had happened, his first reaction was "Did anyone call 911?" when I told him what happened then, he said "And no one ran to help her??" He's pretty upset at the actions of the "adults" at that party too.
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That just seems insane to me. How could anyone just watch as someone is being harmed. What is the world coming to. Thank you for being the only person willing to provide some aid to someone in need.