July 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Thoughts? Comments? Nasty Remarks?

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Re: Thoughts? Comments? Nasty Remarks?

  • imageMariaIsMarried:
    imageCurlyGirlyGirl:
    imageMariaIsMarried:

    Also, I think parents have become way too kid centered. Their kids become their entire reason for existence and they cannot eat, sleep, socialize etc. without baby in tow. My child is incredibly important to me, but there are also other aspects to my life. I am not one to not make plans because it is around nap or meal time. My child needs to grow up being flexible and adaptive. I do not want the child who has a panic attack when there is a substitute teacher. I "hope" that my child will not grow up over indulged and spoiled like so many kids I see nowadays.

    I think that the same holds true for people who take dogs out in public. 

    True. Let me tell you though, I was so shocked by this when I worked in LA. I thought you all thought it was normal. I'm relieved to know that I'm not crazy and real SoCalers find it not okay too. 

    I was in a nice salon in Marina Del Ray -- so you know "classy" folk and this little dog kept running up and licking/sniffing my feet! I don't want other peoples dogs or kids on my feet! 

    Um.... Ew. I can't tolerate this on a normal day (dogs better fvcking stay away from my feet!) but I would vomit if they did it while I was eating at a restaurant.

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  • imagekrissyrose210:
    imageindomesticbliss:

    I think some bad apples have ruined the bunch.

    Do I think kids should be "banned" from certian areas in socitey? No. Do I think parents should be expected to actually PARENT their children? Yes. I will never understand the mom on the cell phone with her kid in the grocery cart, the dad wearing his iPod when he takes his kid for a walk, or the parent sitting in a chair texting while their kid plays in the park. I am a firm believer in being an active part of your child's life, even if the fact that I talk to my kid non-stop when we shop may make others think I'm nuts.

    Honestly, I get annoyed when a kid is having a fit/being whiny/fussy, etc in a public space... and the parent is ignoring it. If you want to parent through ignoring your child, do it at home. In public, you need to take some kind of an action-talking the kid for a walk, changing up the "entertainment", etc....

    Re: "nice" restaurants and first class.... I don't think parents need to be stuck to Applebee's and Friendly's in order to take their kids out, and I don't think they HAVE to fly coach (dude, those seats SUCK). We regularly take Anders to nicer restaurants and we take him before his bed time-so we eat at 5-and make sure he is well behaved. We have had to take him on walks, but I can honestly say, we regularly get the "how well behaved" comment. Anders is a good kid, but most of his "good kid" is because we make sure he is getting what HE needs to eat, talking to him, and removing him from the area if he is having an issue. Also, we fly first class when there are flights offering it. Again, we bring toys/food/games and keep our kid entertained. Granted, he's only 13 months, but we have done this from the time he was 10 weeks-12 months. We aren't "super fabulous awesome parents" but we do recognize our child's needs and the need of the public not to want to hear our kid scream.

    IDK, my 20 page long point is, it's the parents not the kids. By banning all kids, I believe it's limiting to parents. Some of the places may be "luxury" places right now, but what happens if this becomes a trend and spreads through the middle-class areas as well?

    I can totally jump on ehos's soapbox of "bad adults" and yes, you can call some of them out, but you're pretty likely to get sh!t for it from them. I think a lot of America just really needs an overhaul on their public interactions.

    I pretty much agree with all of this. You were able to put it in better words than I could.

     

    I agree with both of you too.

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  • imageMariaIsMarried:
    imageCurlyGirlyGirl:
    imageMariaIsMarried:

    Also, I think parents have become way too kid centered. Their kids become their entire reason for existence and they cannot eat, sleep, socialize etc. without baby in tow. My child is incredibly important to me, but there are also other aspects to my life. I am not one to not make plans because it is around nap or meal time. My child needs to grow up being flexible and adaptive. I do not want the child who has a panic attack when there is a substitute teacher. I "hope" that my child will not grow up over indulged and spoiled like so many kids I see nowadays.

    I think that the same holds true for people who take dogs out in public. 

    True. Let me tell you though, I was so shocked by this when I worked in LA. I thought you all thought it was normal. I'm relieved to know that I'm not crazy and real SoCalers find it not okay too. 

    I was in a nice salon in Marina Del Ray -- so you know "classy" folk and this little dog kept running up and licking/sniffing my feet! I don't want other peoples dogs or kids on my feet!

    I was once licked on the arm by a dog as I shopped the bra sale at Victoria's Secret.  Today my mom, brother and I were eating at this "Dive" from DDD on Food Network called the Oinkster.  We ate outside, and I seriously wanted to drop kick the dog across from us.  It was scaring the little girl next to me (and I too was that little girl who was afraid of dogs...lots of kids are...) and it wouldn't stop yapping.  The woman would pet it and then take a bite of her burger.  Ew.

    Sometimes DH and I laugh when we see people taking their doggies out in strollers (is that just a SoCal thing?) and he threatens to get a leash for our kitties so we can take them on walks at the mall :) 

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  • imagebecky5858:

    My absolute favorite movie theater does not allow kids under 6 and I love it!  They also kick out people for texting and talking during the movie. 

    Have you ever been on the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland? The last time I was on that ride, we rode our "doombuggy" into the room with the lady inside the crystal ball and all of the instruments flying throughout the air.  All of the "doombuggies" face the center of the room in the dark and at least half of the people were just sitting there texting.  Kinda ruins the fun, KWIM?

    Why do people bother going out if they're just going to text?

    Cell phones for some people = the world's worst invention.   

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  • imageCurlyGirlyGirl:
    imagebecky5858:

    My absolute favorite movie theater does not allow kids under 6 and I love it!  They also kick out people for texting and talking during the movie. 

    Have you ever been on the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland? The last time I was on that ride, we rode our "doombuggy" into the room with the lady inside the crystal ball and all of the instruments flying throughout the air.  All of the "doombuggies" face the center of the room in the dark and at least half of the people were just sitting there texting.  Kinda ruins the fun, KWIM?

    Why do people bother going out if they're just going to text?

    Cell phones for some people = the world's worst invention.   

    I vote 'all of social media' for world's worst invention.  Great as a way to keep in contact, but it has made people so involved in themselves that they can't have any empathy or compassion for others.  Those two things would solve so many of the world's problems.

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  • imageCurlyGirlyGirl:
    imageMariaIsMarried:
    imageCurlyGirlyGirl:
    imageMariaIsMarried:

    Also, I think parents have become way too kid centered. Their kids become their entire reason for existence and they cannot eat, sleep, socialize etc. without baby in tow. My child is incredibly important to me, but there are also other aspects to my life. I am not one to not make plans because it is around nap or meal time. My child needs to grow up being flexible and adaptive. I do not want the child who has a panic attack when there is a substitute teacher. I "hope" that my child will not grow up over indulged and spoiled like so many kids I see nowadays.

    I think that the same holds true for people who take dogs out in public. 

    True. Let me tell you though, I was so shocked by this when I worked in LA. I thought you all thought it was normal. I'm relieved to know that I'm not crazy and real SoCalers find it not okay too. 

    I was in a nice salon in Marina Del Ray -- so you know "classy" folk and this little dog kept running up and licking/sniffing my feet! I don't want other peoples dogs or kids on my feet!

    I was once licked on the arm by a dog as I shopped the bra sale at Victoria's Secret.  Today my mom, brother and I were eating at this "Dive" from DDD on Food Network called the Oinkster.  We ate outside, and I seriously wanted to drop kick the dog across from us.  It was scaring the little girl next to me (and I too was that little girl who was afraid of dogs...lots of kids are...) and it wouldn't stop yapping.  The woman would pet it and then take a bite of her burger.  Ew.

    Sometimes DH and I laugh when we see people taking their doggies out in strollers (is that just a SoCal thing?) and he threatens to get a leash for our kitties so we can take them on walks at the mall :) 

    I've really mostly only seen it in SoCal...however my ILs are becoming "those people." Their dog goes out for coffee, etc...but not normal here. What shocked me the most in SoCal was that it isn't only little purse puppies...there will be golden retrievers walking around the Mall!

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  • imageMariaIsMarried:
    imageCurlyGirlyGirl:
    imageMariaIsMarried:
    imageCurlyGirlyGirl:
    imageMariaIsMarried:

    Also, I think parents have become way too kid centered. Their kids become their entire reason for existence and they cannot eat, sleep, socialize etc. without baby in tow. My child is incredibly important to me, but there are also other aspects to my life. I am not one to not make plans because it is around nap or meal time. My child needs to grow up being flexible and adaptive. I do not want the child who has a panic attack when there is a substitute teacher. I "hope" that my child will not grow up over indulged and spoiled like so many kids I see nowadays.

    I think that the same holds true for people who take dogs out in public. 

    True. Let me tell you though, I was so shocked by this when I worked in LA. I thought you all thought it was normal. I'm relieved to know that I'm not crazy and real SoCalers find it not okay too. 

    I was in a nice salon in Marina Del Ray -- so you know "classy" folk and this little dog kept running up and licking/sniffing my feet! I don't want other peoples dogs or kids on my feet!

    I was once licked on the arm by a dog as I shopped the bra sale at Victoria's Secret.  Today my mom, brother and I were eating at this "Dive" from DDD on Food Network called the Oinkster.  We ate outside, and I seriously wanted to drop kick the dog across from us.  It was scaring the little girl next to me (and I too was that little girl who was afraid of dogs...lots of kids are...) and it wouldn't stop yapping.  The woman would pet it and then take a bite of her burger.  Ew.

    Sometimes DH and I laugh when we see people taking their doggies out in strollers (is that just a SoCal thing?) and he threatens to get a leash for our kitties so we can take them on walks at the mall :) 

    I've really mostly only seen it in SoCal...however my ILs are becoming "those people." Their dog goes out for coffee, etc...but not normal here. What shocked me the most in SoCal was that it isn't only little purse puppies...there will be golden retrievers walking around the Mall!

    Many malls welcome it and set out doggy bowls with water and some stores even hand out treats. I'm sure the dogs love it, but my mother who is allergic to dogs doesn't, and sometimes she comes home feeling a bit miserable.

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  • Most cities in Oregon are considered "dog friendly" and I'm still WTFing these stories about SoCal dogs... Dogs can sit at very select few places outside while you eat, but they definitely aren't allowed in stores (except pet stores). Dogs belong in the dog park...

    I have issues with taking Maggie to the beach if she's not behaving (we usually leave, and that's a BEACH where she can be crazy), soooo you can get the picture what I would do if it was my human kid not behaving in a public place.

    Kids crying on flights only bothers me when the parents just sit there and ignore them. On a red eye across the country a baby cried the entire way, but mom and dad were taking turns and walking up and down the aisles and bouncing and the staff would let them go in the back for a bit to get some separation. They were truly doing everything they could, and so, I wasn't upset with them. Annoyed, but able to shrug it off. 

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  • imageMariaIsMarried:

    I think it is a symptom of the fact that so many parents have lost good sense. A lot of places are not appropriate for kids, but parents have been bringing kids and not using good judgement. I think that there has been a wave of parents treating kids like little adults -- instead of setting appropriate boundaries and this is the result. Far too many children are in charge of their families, whereas it should be the parents in charge.

    This. 

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  • imageshortycole2:

    Most cities in Oregon are considered "dog friendly" and I'm still WTFing these stories about SoCal dogs... Dogs can sit at very select few places outside while you eat, but they definitely aren't allowed in stores (except pet stores). Dogs belong in the dog park...

    I have issues with taking Maggie to the beach if she's not behaving (we usually leave, and that's a BEACH where she can be crazy), soooo you can get the picture what I would do if it was my human kid not behaving in a public place.

    Kids crying on flights only bothers me when the parents just sit there and ignore them. On a red eye across the country a baby cried the entire way, but mom and dad were taking turns and walking up and down the aisles and bouncing and the staff would let them go in the back for a bit to get some separation. They were truly doing everything they could, and so, I wasn't upset with them. Annoyed, but able to shrug it off. 

    This.  Or if they encourage the behavior by sh*tty parenting (like ONLY paying attention to the child when he/she is screaming).  That's what happened on our nightmare of a flight on our honeymoon.  We had been bumped up to first class due to other flight issues (I hate American Airlines), and we had a child who shreiked for attention who was sitting right next to us.  The parents would ignore him and then he'd scream and they'd smile and go, "Shhh! " and pay attention to him for like 2 minutes, then go back to flipping through magazines and stuff until he screamed again...over and over again.  Due to thunderstorms, we had to sit on the tarmac for FOUR HOURS (we didn't fly out until after 10pm) while this child screamed.  High. Pitched. Screaming.  At one point (like 3+ hours into the screaming) a flight attendent even offered the parents Benedryl to help calm the child down b/c the whole entire flight was getting aggrivated (many people came up and complained after it had gone on for over 3 hours, and although giving Benedryl to a child is not a popular decision to some, in this case, I would have been okay with it), then finally the PILOT came back and told them that they would have to have a police escort off the plane if they could not (or WOULD not, since they didn't seem to mind it or try to get him to stop) get their child to calm down b/c the pilot could not hear the control towers and it wasn't safe.

    I have never in my life been so close to saying something to a parent.  I never step in on parenting techniques or any of that (except for when that was my old job), but this was absolutely ridiculous.  I get all worked up even talking about it still.

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  • Personally, I've never had a bad experience with a child annoying me in a public place.  Maybe I'm just lucky.  I have had bad experiences with teenagers and adults.  I've had both talk in movies, push the back of my chair, stop in the middle of an aisle, etc.  So, like someone said, this shouldn't just be targeted at children because every age of human can be annoying. 

    I don't think children or parents should be treated like second class citizens so no I don't like the idea of this.  Its age discrimination to me.  Bad parenting should not lead to discrimination.  

    DH doesn't agree with me on this and likes the idea of no kids allowed.  He already feels bad for the people on the international flight when his sister and her baby come here from London.  He thinks there is no way that a 6 month old won't scream at some point during the flight.

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