Invite wording etiquette??

lauraoct10th

Hello, I dont post on this board, I am more on the D&R board. But I have come across a problem that google searching has not given me an answer to.

History is...... I got married just last year and my MIL was pretty awesome through the whole process.  This year it is her 25 anniversary. In September so we have time.

Her sister was her MOH (aka Aunt D) and we want to throw my Mil a surprise anniversary party.  Well Aunt D already picked out the restraunt. (one I dont care for) and said she and her husband would pay for themself and my MIL and MIF. Everyone else will have to have seperate checks.  She put me incharge of decorations and invites.  

But how can I invite people and properly word the invite to let them know they will be paying for themselfs??????  

I am not comfortable with this at all. My H and I are not in the position to pick up the tab for everyone otherwise I would.  I am also going to trying talk to her about maybe changing the party to our house. Then we could do light food and drink. Please any help would be a huge help.

TIA

JustaKidAtHeart

I would really try your best to get her to move the venue.  It is SUPER tacky to invite people out and have them pay for themselves.  If it were just you and them that would be fine but this is a surprise party. 

SusanH.

I think Aunt D should take them to dinner and you should have a separate party for them where no one has to "pay" for going.

Maybride2

SusanH.:

I think Aunt D should take them to dinner and you should have a separate party for them where no one has to "pay" for going.

Ditto. Just be honest with Aunt D that this is not what you had in mind and you will be planning your own party for them.

BlackDiamond3201

I agree with the PPs that it's not a good idea and a separate party should be help where people do not have to pay their own meals.

At work we have these type of things often. They put $____ for the cost of your meal and gift.

I can't think of any 'nice' way to put it.

casmgn

Maybride2:

SusanH.:

I think Aunt D should take them to dinner and you should have a separate party for them where no one has to "pay" for going.

Ditto. Just be honest with Aunt D that this is not what you had in mind and you will be planning your own party for them.

Ditto and ditto.

speckledfrog

Well, you are in charge of the invitations, so just invite them to your house!

abama

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lauraoct10th

Okay, Thank you everyone.  I have been tossing and turning about this. Aunt D is on vacation at the moment when she come backs I will tell her the changes.

I am glad that you guys all agreed with me.  No wonder I couldn't find or think of anyway to say it. Because your not suppose to DO that.  

Again thank you for all your input. I will surely be back for ideas for the party!!

vjcjenn1

Aunt D, I think it's so nice for you to want to take them out to dinner. As far as the party goes, I really feel we should have it my house. As I was researching how to do the wording on the invite, I learned that it's not common practice to invite guests and ask them to pay their own way. I think we can do finger foods and a champagne toast at my house and stay within budget.