Thankful/things that have changed (PW)

TheMrsTurtle

Sorry to be a post whore here, but I totally missed out on these two great threads yesterday and I didn't want my responses to get overlooked.

 

Thankful:

- I am so thankful for my DH and how hard he works. He is way underpaid for the amount of work he does, but we both hope that paying his dues now will pay off so he can move up the ladder in his company. Money is tight for this reason, and he works overtime to try and bring more money in. I am thankful for his selflessness.

- I am thankful that Aunt Flo came to visit today! She was a few days tardy and while I started to ponder the possibility and would have happily embraced it, I know that DH and I deserve some one-on-one post-wedding fun time, and that we need to better prepare ourselves, for the next year or so.

 - I am also so thankful for you girls. I love you all and I agree that it's so nice to have "peers" that are in a similar place in life!

 

Anyone feel differences in your relationship after marriage yet, good or bad?

I feel like we are very solid, very much one unit. I totally have the "other half" feeling now. Before marriage, DH was like my other half in the sense that we were joined at the hip, but now I feel it in so many more ways. I also feel oblivious to our interracial-ness now. I felt oblivious to it in the earlier years, because it was nothing new for me and back home it's very common and no one ever gave me any flack. But races seem to be much more segregated in Philly and people began making their opinions known within the last year or so, so I became much more aware and it was uncomfortable. Now I feel like, f* it, we are married and nothing will come between us and we are one unit now, so I just don't really notice, or maybe I've finally learned to just not care.

 

What's one thing you should work on in your marriage at this time?

We are working on our finances right now, because I know that is a major cause of trouble in marriages. I also need to work harder on my physique! We both slacked after the wedding, but DH has got back into working out, and I need to follow suit. We also need to work on our division of chores. I feel like I've been doing a lot more cooking and cleaning than DH, and it's starting to exhaust me.

 

 

akhunter1

Laura--I know what you mean with the finances.  We are in a pretty good place but I arm ready to start investing and DH is too but he isn't the type to really start it. 

- I am also so thankful for you girls. I love you all and I agree that it's so nice to have "peers" that are in a similar place in life!

I second your above statement!  

TinyMrsH

It's so nice to have you ladies! If only we all lived closer :0)

breaness

Thanks for posting this because I probably wouldn't have seen it!

I love what you said about not being as aware of the interracial relationship. I think you're a very good looking couple and I love that it's not in the foreground for you. I found that when I was in an interracial relationship (with a filipino) that the biggest problems we had were with his family accepting me, rather than the outside world accepting us.

I can't wait to join you girls on the flip side. I feel more connected to all of you than the new DW brides. It's nice to read these posts to get a little sneak peek at what's to come  

Kayla&Brian412

breaness:

Thanks for posting this because I probably wouldn't have seen it!

I love what you said about not being as aware of the interracial relationship. I think you're a very good looking couple and I love that it's not in the foreground for you. I found that when I was in an interracial relationship (with a filipino) that the biggest problems we had were with his family accepting me, rather than the outside world accepting us.

I can't wait to join you girls on the flip side. I feel more connected to all of you than the new DW brides. It's nice to read these posts to get a little sneak peek at what's to come  

 I know I haven't been very active over here yet--things are finally starting to slow down at work so I'll have more play time   I just had to agree with Brea with that statement

MrsMeyer7911

I def agree on the finances thing Laura and Amanda. We are in a good place but I want to really bulk up our savings and start investing more. Retirement has really become a bigger priority and we are both putting lots in our 401k but in Jan we are both opening IRAs so we can save more. Early retirement is definately a big goal we are working on!

risa1818

Love your answers Lola! Trust me I know the struggles of working your butt off in the restaurant industry and not having much to show for it. DH would work really hard just like your H and would feel awful for not making as much as I did. It's definitely not fair that when you work in the front of the house jobs ( restaurant manager, waitress, bartender) that you make way more than the kitchen jobs do. Now DH is the one taking care of me while I am back to waiting tables and going to school! It will pay off the though, just be patient. It sounds like he is very talented and I am sure he can move up in no time

I also feel such a nice bond with you ladies. It has been really nice to share our journeys of WP and now being married with all of you

sparklegirl84

I agree with Brea that it's lovely hearing how marriage is gonna improve our relationship! I am glad to hear that you (laura) are no longer concerned with how other people view you guys. I live in a very sheltered area but most follks are pretty liberal & open. Forgive me if this sounds silly/naive but you two are going to make beautiful babies!! My native american friend & her mexican husband have the cutest brown baby boy & i couldn't get over his beautiful skin tone (my gushing may have made her feel weird) but i've only seen little white babies so he was just So precious!

sld0618

I'm really glad that you are feeling better about the interracial part of the relationship!!  I know that it's super hard because my aunt is white and my uncle is black.  As much as I think that people don't worry about it that much, I still get looks when I am watching my little mixed cousins.  It's like people wonder what our story is or something.  I feel a lot of time that people think that I adopted them or something, haha. 

We're always very open though with it because if you're not, you're no better yourself.  The little one said when she was 3 that mommy is white chocolate, daddy is dark chocolate, maxie (her brother) is carmel chocolate and she is mocha chocolate.  Then she called the rest of our family white chocolate as well. It was the cutest thing ever. 

breaness

sld0618:

I'm really glad that you are feeling better about the interracial part of the relationship!!  I know that it's super hard because my aunt is white and my uncle is black.  As much as I think that people don't worry about it that much, I still get looks when I am watching my little mixed cousins.  It's like people wonder what our story is or something.  I feel a lot of time that people think that I adopted them or something, haha. 

We're always very open though with it because if you're not, you're no better yourself. The little one said when she was 3 that mommy is white chocolate, daddy is dark chocolate, maxie (her brother) is carmel chocolate and she is mocha chocolate.  Then she called the rest of our family white chocolate as well. It was the cutest thing ever.

 

I love this!!