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Fundraising for Adoption
I wanted to get everyone's take on this. One of my extended family members and her husband are in the process of adopting a child from Taiwan, which is wonderful. Both her and her sister are very involved in missionary work and the plight of orphans abroad.
But here's where it gets a little sticky or strange for me. She is putting up all over her FB status and her adoption blog ways for people to donate to their personal adoption fund. They just bought a new iPad 2 and are holding a raffle for it, the more you donate to the fund, the more chances you have to win. They're having t-shirts made that they'll be selling to people, and the funds will go to their adoption. Her adoption blog (she already has one for mommy blogging and one for homeschool blogging), which I started following because I wanted to hear about their process and what all went in to it, has just been about ways for raising money and how if you're a good Christian, you should definitely want to donate to their cause.
Am I totally off base in finding this a bit.... odd. I'm sure international adoption is very expensive, and this may be something that people do all the time. But this is the first time I've ever seen anyone ask for contributions to their personal adoption (instead of like a charity or a church), and it's got me scratching my head.
Re: Fundraising for Adoption
That sort of thing really bothers me... for several reasons.
1) If you can't afford to adopt without financial assistance from other people then you can't afford to adopt. Are you going to ask for donations when the kid goes to college and you need to pay tuition?
2) Playing the "good Christian" card is disgusting to me. Excuse me, but if you're a "good Christian" you wouldn't use your faith to strong arm your friends into giving you money.
3) If the plight of orphans throughout the world is her motivating factor for this adoption then I feel all of her fundraising efforts are misplaced. Adopting one child will certainly benefit that one individual, but what about all the others? Possible siblings of her adopted child? If she is worried about orphaned children throughout the world then wouldn't it make more sense to raise funds and promote awareness for the cause in general rather than a "look at how much good I'm doing" adoption that she can't afford?
Whenever I see/hear about people like this my gut reaction is that they want to earn brownie points with their buddies at church. Adoption is about a child finding a family, not you getting a living trophy for making a big donation to the World Children's Fund.
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This! It aggravates me when the church does it let alone someone else. It just rubs me the wrong way.
You're most likely looking at $25k plus for an international adoption. Not to mention travel costs because some countries require that you travel there multiple times while others require you travel and stay for a longer period of time. One of my acquaintances just returned from overseas with her daughter. She was required to stay in the country for a month (2 weeks before and then 2 weeks with the child).
I read a lot on the adoption boards and it's not uncommon for people to need to take out a loan for an adoption. I find it sad and frustrating that it's so expensive to adopt. I could understand needing to ensure that you have the means to support the child, but I think there are probably many wonderful homes and families for these children who simply can't afford the upfront fees associated.
Given that, it doesn't bother me that someone is asking for assistance in raising the money. As someone who is seriously considering adoption, it rubs me the wrong way that I'd need to take out a loan to "pay" for a child. I don't think I'd ever go the route of fundraising, but you never know.
The "good Christian" card really does bother me, but I dislike whenever someone brings that into a discussion as a factor.
I imagine their hearts are in the right place, but this gets a side eye from me. Especially when you talk about how they are going about their fundraising.
We have a youth minister that works at our school (a catholic school) she is about 25 or 26 years old. She was going to World Youth Day and sent out an email asking for donations for her 6 week long "pilgrimage" there. Made me so annoyed. Basically you are asking people to pay for your vacation, and you think it's ok because you add a religious event onto it!!!
I guess if people are willing to donate to their cause, all the power to them, its just not something I could ever do.
I think "fundraising" for an adoption is odd. Does she already have children? (I am assuming yes because she has a mommy and homeschooling blog) S and I talked about this after we had Anders, and we would not be willing to adopt if it meant a fnancial hit to our family and child(ren) we have. I get that there are thousands of orphans abroad (as well as thousands of children domestically who need loving homes, both foster and older adoptions) but I have a hard time justifying adopting one child if it woud financially harm my family. I could see working with an organization that engouraces international adoption and fundraising for it if that is her passion, but I can't wrap my head around fundraising for a family to adopt a child.
I do agree that 25k+ for international adoption is a lot, and it is really sad to have to take out a loan for it. I think that a blog discussing your "saving" plan with garage sales, etc... is fine, but asking for money via FB and playing the "good Christian" card rubs me the wrong way.
The fact that they are fundraising for adoption makes me give them the side-eye already. I have a cousin who has had the privilege to adopt two children locally, and they have had to scrimp and save every last penny that they earn so that they can adopt. It's not cheap, but I don't think that fundraising is the way to go. IMO if you need to raise funds to adopt, how are you going to support the child once you get him/her?
Also, the face that they are playing the "good Christian" card is very annoying to me, because that is no way to try get money from people! Doesn't matter who you are it's just plain wrong!
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That's really the part that makes me raise an eyebrow. Raising money for adoption is odd in my book, but one of those "to each his own" things. If people want to give money then great, but please don't guilt trip people into it based on some idea that it will make them a better person (or that they are a better person for doing so).
I think that hits the nail on the head for me. The way that she uses her FB and blogs to basically spam people asking for donations is what irks me the most, I think. And don't get me wrong, they are a great family, with two adorable boys, and I would actually love to hear about this process from start to finish, but why couldn't it have been a short 'We're adopting, if anyone would like to donate/contribute/give assistance/etc., send me a message!' just once and leave it at that?
Thanks for the different opinions. I hope no one thinks I was being intentionally insensitive to people looking to adopt or Christianity or anything. It was just something I felt was odd and I had a hard time putting into words what I wanted to.
This is also probably not helped by the fact that I have another FB acquaintance (a married couple, actually) who have been posting about once a week or so that they're welcoming donations from anyone in FB land to help get them through the month of August because they just moved and money is tight. It's not just a joke, because the wife has actually been knitting scarves (hello, it's AUGUST) and offering them up to the highest bidder. And, again, these are smart people, too! Facebook apparently just makes people go crazy and think that any little thing that pops into their head must be known by the general public.
Adoption of SIL#1 (perfect healthy, "preferred" child from China) was around $30k, not including the flights to get her, and 4 week required stay. SIL#2 was significantly less because she was already marked special needs.
I too wish international adoption was cheaper, but it's not. If you want to adopt internationally and can't afford (either by loan or savings) the price tag, then adopt domestically (still steep, but not as high) or through the foster care system (in Oregon, the foster care system pays YOU to adopt children, not the other way around). I majorly side-eye fundraising for an adoption fund in this circumstance. If she feels called to help an orphan in need, I'm sure there are plenty in her community that she won't have to bombard her friends and family to help them financially in order to adopt.