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Need help, have a question
Hey ladies, I introduced myself a while back but I have not done much posting since then. DH is AD Air Force stationed out of Luke AFB. We have been married two and half years he has orders for Korea in the fall. We are both 25.
Anyway, we are having some major problems in our marriage and I am not happy. I am trying to seek individual counceling and I tried contacting Military One Source but since I occasionally take an anti-anxiety medication they told me that they could not help me and that I had to go through tricare. The lady was super nice on the phone and emailed me the phone number to get a referral. My main concern is that if I use counceling services through tricare will they report back to the military? I want my things kept confidential and right now I don't want my husband knowing that I am seeing someone for help. I will eventually tell him, but I need figure out better communication and coping skills before I confront him with everything that is going. Thanks in advance for your time
Re: Need help, have a question
The first step in having better communication is to be open and honest with your H. In other words, you have to communicate. You really should tell him you are seeking counseling for your anxiety and to better your coping and communication skills. Trust me, he'll react better to that than to find out in 6 weeks that you've been seeing a doctor and lying about where you are going.
Is there a particular reason you don't want him to know?
Better communication is the one of the main reasons that I am seeking counceling. He is refusing to go to marriage counceling so I am seeking individual counceling so that I can have better communciation and coping skills. I hate confrontation and I tend to shut down when DH gets mad and starts getting angry. He also has a habit of belittling me and making me feel like lesser of a person. I need to grow up and grow a pair so that I can better stand up to him so that we can work out our issues now before he leaves. Right now, its just easier if he doesn't know. I do plan to tell him after a few weeks. This is not something that I want to keep from him long term, I do plan to tell him after a few weeks.
I hope you find the help that you need in counseling, but I have to say that your husband sounds like a peach. He belittles you and assaults your self-esteem? No one deserves that, especially from their spouse. You shouldn't have to "stand up" to your husband.
This!
Word!
He sounds like my Ex husband.
Agreed. Please take this into consideration. I mean really spend some time thinking about it. It is not your fault that he treats you that way, and although counseling may help you to find better ways to deal with situations like this and become a stronger individual, it's not something that you should be trying to work with, so to speak. Him acting that way towards you is not okay.
Thanks ladies. I am at the end of my rope with him. I want to make sure that I have the confidence and communication skills to be able to give him an ultimatum, one that I can stick to. If things do not change, then I will file for divorce.
I don't know where you are with your faith or if this would make you feel uncomfortable, but have you thought about seeing your base Chaplin? I know they cannot share ANYTHING you share with them. The couple I have seen at our AF base are awesome at getting people the help they need whether through them or another organization.
I have a TS-SCI clearance and I was asked if I had counseling before. I was honest - I took Zoloft for a short period of time when I separated (for 3 months I took the medicine.) I did 1 year of individual counseling and a few sessions of marriage counseling. It did not impact my career at all.
She's not worried about her employer finding out. She's scared of her husband.