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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
the business of being born
i'm watching it for the first time. i've avoided it thinking i might get bitter about my csection but i am enjoying it. it makes me want to try for the vbac although like meldot said in the vbac post i am more open to what might have to happen.
i am excited to go get my yearly gyno exam at my midwives and see who they can recommend for when we are ready for baby no 2. a
Ha edit sorry milo hit the keys before I hit enter.
Re: the business of being born
I did feel elated after having Milo. Felt we bonded so well but I think it was partially luck. I wouldgive up natural birth 100xs over for the perfect breastfeeding experience I was so lucky to get with him.
This. I am so.terrified.of.labor. I may not let the kid out.
If only kegels could strengthen my business enough to close up shop....
i saw it before Max was born and while I really liked it, it's obvious that there's an agenda there. I had no idea that an epidural could slow down labor (so said the movie) and when I talked to my doula about it, she said that while yes, that can be true, sometimes it can speed labor up. And sometimes, an epidural is neccessary so you can get some rest and have energy to push.
(side note: as I was entering the 24+ hour of my failed induction, it was my doula who said: "ask for pitocin and an epidural. maybe you'll go in to labor and can nap so you'll have energy to push" because my birth plan said not even to offer me pain meds, this was a very amusing point of the process)
anyway, I was glad I saw it, but I wish it was a bit more evenhanded.
Lachute, (and everyone who had a positive breastfeeding experience) I am so so so jealous of you, it makes me cry.
Similarly, my midwife suggested after 24-36 hours of unproductive labor that the epi/pit would finally get me to sleep and hopefully speed up dilation. I almost wish I could have had the epi earlier i think sleep would have helped me 9304823084x's over. I tried morphine but i just felt high and in pain and couldn't see straight.
Re: breastfeeding, i know how hard you tried and struggled and i almost didn't write the above because i knew how upset i would still be if this happened to me. i just feel incredibly grateful it went well & know it might not go as easy with another child each one is so different.
I watched it post DS's birth. I also had DH watch parts of it so I could kind of explain things about how I was feeling about my c-section.
I brought up "natural c-section" to my obgyn for this birth. (Jentle childbirth method) and he gave me the side eye. Uh not sure we can do x, y, z with you.
I'm going to bring it up AGAIN at my next appt my wish for prolonged cord clamping, skin to skin contact and breastfeeding post delivery.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5RIcaK98Yg (video on natural c-section)
fwiw, i never got much sleep on the epi. They kept moving me because i would get comfy and that position would cause Max's heart to slow.
oh don't worry about writing about bfing! i can be jealous and happy for you at the same time
This is going to be long but it's my take!
I struggled big time with the issue of an epi. I was super anti. Didn't want one, no way no how. Until the option of having one was almost taken from me! I had a condition in pregnancy that caused my platelets to continuously drop. I was on steroids for the last few weeks to try to get/keep them up but it didn't work. (PS Platelets help clot blood, FYI.)
If your platelets get too low you can't get an epi b/c the puncturing of the epidural space can have some pretty undesirable effects like paralysis and death and such. That also means that if you need a c-section, you have to be knocked out under general. That was pretty much my nightmare scenario.
So when I went into labor, pretty much started with me vomiting and, ehm, lots of stuff coming out of the other end too. I made dh take me to the hospital at 4 am b/c even though the contractions weren't painful they were coming every 3 minutes and I knew I was getting completely dehyrated after exploding from both ends for 4 hours.
Well, when we got there I was only like 1 cm dilated so they hydrated me and were going to send me home. They also counted my platelets and they were waaaay lower then they were a day or two before that. Cue me freaking out b/c I spoke to an anesthiologist right then and he told me he wouldnt' give me an epi at that low of a count. I was sobbing b/c I was convinced that not only was I not going to get the birth experience I wanted for me and Big Lar, but we would BOTH miss the birth (he couldn't be in the OR if I was out cold.)
So we went home and labored at home. I was back in the hosp less then 24 hrs later with lots of pain but little progress (the theme of my whole labor, apparently) but I was a full week overdue so we decided to be admitted. I took a morphine nap for a few hours, which made me groggy and also very weepy.
They retested my platelets and they had shot back up to a point where I could have the epi option, but they couldn't guarantee the platelets would stay up. So we made the decision to have the epi placed but not dosed with any medication. That way if I wanted the epi I could have it or if I needed a csection I could be awake for it.
I ended up walking the halls, bouncing on the ball, changing lots and lots of positions to labor. I made it to about 3-4. Still unmedicated. They broke my water and I made it until a little over 5 before I just couldn't take the pain anymore. I was exhausted and just couldn't do it anymore. I figure I made it about 36-40 hours without the epi. I tried, Big Lar was awesome- helped with visualizations, all sorts of pain management, and just like I asked him to, he asked me a few times if that was what I wanted when I said I wanted the epi.
The anesthesiologist came in and dosed me up and it took effect fast b/c I was already 'wired'. But I never really progressed much more. Made it to 6 and stayed there for I think about 4 hours. Tried pitocin and the baby had a mad awful reaction to it. Less then a half hour after that I had a csection. The baby was so big - 9#3oz and she was stuck b/c she was facing sideways not down.
The bottom line for me is I wanted so badly to have a natural birth. I felt like my body had totally failed us all. It's such a shittty feeling, even though it's supposed to be one of the best days of your life. I don't know if I could go through all that again!
I'm grateful/lucky that we have had a good bfing experience, despite a rocky start.
LD-I had no idea you were dealing with all of that! That must have been so difficult.
ITA with this sentiment:
The bottom line for me is I wanted so badly to have a natural birth. I felt like my body had totally failed us all. It's such a shittty feeling, even though it's supposed to be one of the best days of your life. I don't know if I could go through all that again!
But then I realize that at I got an awesome baby out of the deal and I feel better. And the older he gets/the more time that passes, the more I still look at the entire experience as positive, not negative. Seriously, I now look at the time in the hospital as happy and exciting, despite the fact that DH was sleeping on what felt like a surfboard, people were constantly trying to shove their fingers up my vag, I was in denial about not having a natural, vaginal birth and I was "allowed" to eat a meal of beef broth and icies. And after Max was born, all my FIL did was nag me about when the bris was. (DH finally had to tell him to chill out)
i'll be totally honest, i have no idea how i had natural (no med) childbirth three times. i'm thinking the only way i made it through was that i have fast labors, well that and needles freak me the F out. dh constantly reminds me that i acted worse when getting the IV for fluids than i did for the worst contractions
meldot . . . i feel your pain with the breastfeeding thing. although i pumped for over a year with taryn and 9 months with joci, i still feel like i missed out on something.
I will be honest too, at the risk of getting flamed.
My birth plan is to go into labor (hopefully), call the doctor, and go to the hospital. At that point, I am going to let the doctors do their thing. There's a reason they have protocols for this stuff. I'm not hiring a doula or a mid-wife. It's not my style. When we took the hospital tour, the nurse told us we can bring our birth plan, ipod, stability ball etc. I looked at DH and said "I don't want any of that. I want it to be over as quickly as possible."
I may be jaded because I come from a family which contains physicians who literally save people's lives or because during my recent admission where there was talk for a few minutes of delivering this fetus at 24 weeks, I felt like there were no choices - if I wanted to save his life, I would do what they said. And I did.
no flames. it's your pregnancy/baby/experience
For reals! I had pitocin with Bella and the contractions were so so so bad, but the thought of a needle in my back just scares the crap out of me. At one point, I even asked for it because the pain was so bad and everyone just "yes'd" me and said ti was coming, but I went to fast and I knew deep down they didn't order it because of how badly I wanted to do it with no pain meds.
This time around I am crapping my pants. All the pain from labor is supposed to be forgotten about, but I remember it all way too much. I wish this kid could magically teleport out of my stomach.
I had wanted to attempt a natural birth, but I have ginormous babies. For me, the epidural was a beautiful, magical thing. It worked pretty perfectly. I could still feel everything, but it numbed the pain to a MUCH more manageable level
Charlie was almost 9 lbs and Sam was almost 10, so yeah. I heart epidurals
I am so sad though when I hear stories of people who wanted things out of their labor and bfing and for whatever reason are not able to achieve it. I know that it weighs heavily on them and I really hope that everyone realizes it isn't your fault
DS 3.12.08
DD 7.11.09
DD 8.01.13
Amen!! My goal this pregnancy is to make it to 36 weeks (Sept. 22nd). My ultimate goal would be to have a baby that is at least 7pounds. Never gonna happen, but a girl can dream. I've had a 6pound 2ouncer, 5 pound 15ouncer, and a 4pound 5ouncer. They get smaller and cook for a shorter amount of time with every pregnancy.
I'm also going to be pissed at my body if I am getting these awful weekly shots and they don't help keep me pregnant longer.
Tiana- didn't you get the shots and go late with them??
It's totally okay, and normal to mourn the expectations or hopes you had for your pregnancy and delivery that don't come to pass. I was majorly upset after Emma was born because nothing was normal or what I expected. I cried about normal things like not being able to prepare for her birth, not being able to hold her, not being able to have her in our room. These things made sense to be upset about. But I also cried about silly things like not getting the chance to pack for the hospital or get our car seat installed and checked. I cried because I never got to be the big huge pregnant lady. I cried because I never got to go into labor and call the doctor or rush to the hospital. I realize these are ridiculous but to my hormonal mind they were crucial and missed. I talked to someone, and found out these feelings are normal and actually a healthy way to deal with the hand you were dealt.
I think we've all gotten better with time and look at these adorable kids we all have, regardless of the situation.
Amen sister!
Do you want my honest answer????? If not don't read below!!
No, i went into pre-term labor three times with joci, the third time i was 36 and 2, and she passed the lung maturity test, so they let me go . . . that should have been my warning that she was going to be hell on wheels.
I think I can deal with 2 shots
My blood type is negative. DH still needs to have his checked out. One of my parents is neg and one is positive.
So many things didn't go the way I planned when I gave birth. The magical epi didn't work. The hospital and doctors sucked. I only wanted dh to be in the room when I was laboring but after 18 hours of pit and no working epi I needed my mom and I felt like a failure that I needed her. I was knocked out completely for my kid's birth and never got to experience hearing the doctor say, here's your baby or hearing his first cry and getting that moment to look at my husband as we see our baby for the first time. I was not the first person to hold my baby because I was knocked out. I woke up in ridiculous pain because I had been cut open with no meds to numb me and as a result I had no interest in even looking at my kid when I finally got to him because I was shaking uncontrollably and vomiting from the pain so I felt guilty about being a horrible mom from the moment I became one.
I definitely didn't get the birth I wanted but you know what, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat even if I knew I would have the same experience. I have a healthy baby and I survived. I am so jealous of all the vaginal births I hear about that are so easy and wonderful but my body was able to handle the birth that it had and it has helped me to remember that I can handle a lot more than I think I can.