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WWYD FSIL related
So I was browsing FB while cooking W's lunch and FSIL started talking to me. I was sort of half paying attention until she starts talking about the baby's sex again. She had booked an elective scan for yesterday, but said she wouldn't go becasue BIL didn't want her to go wtihout him, and it cost ?80. Fair enough, IMO.
So she starts doing some pretty heavy hinting, but I wasn't really paying attention, until she said, do you want to know a secret, adn it all clicked. Suddenly I realised she had the scan yesterday, kept it a secret from BIL (which she intends to keep a secret forever!), and wanted to tell me the sex. I told her no, I couldn't keep that from DH, and didn't really feel comfortable knowing if BIL didn't.
But I can guess from what she'd already said.
They're coming up to visit in 2 weeks - before their NHS scan, which would tell them (hopefully) the sex. I'm peeved she's put me in this position. I can't even tell H, which means keeping a secret from him - which I enver do, because it wouldn't be fair for him to have to keep a secret from his brother.
I guess this is not so much a WWYD, as an ARGHHHH!!!
Re: WWYD FSIL related
That's what I was going to say! Ha ha. (But, I probably wouldn't actually do it.)
Hmmm, if my SIL tells me something and asks me to keep it from my H (her brother) I do. We are very close friends though.
If you really feel like to have to tell your H, write it in a letter, mail it and give it to him after their visit.
You should also tell FSIL not to confide that kind of stuff anymore as it makes you uncomfortable to keep things from your H.
I already did that! As soon as she told me, I just sort of said, I didn't wnat to knwo any more secrets like that, it was too much secrecy for me. I can keep little things short term, but not a big thing like that.
I'm very close to my other SIL, and wouldn't tell DH - though she'd prob honestly not tell me to.
I was tempted to tell her to tell BIL, but she's convinced they'll split up if he finds out, and I don't want to be put in the middle of anything like that. I just cant' believe she didn't think that she'd regret it, you know? But then, she is a very young 20.
LOL! Why didn't she reschedule it for when BIL could go too? Seems like the more simple solution rather than a big lie and cover-up.
well, it was partly the money as well, and the fact that she'd paid a 40% deposit on the full cost...
just a mess, however you look at it!
WOW. Just wow. I've done much worse than spend ?80.
It's a bit rubbish of her to go and do it if he wanted them to wait until he was free. Just say that you won't bring it up, but if asked then you will not lie, but you will not get involved.
Seriously though, I'd hate to have my relationship teeter on ?80.
This was my thought too. Even if ?80 is a lot, even if it was ?800, her dropping a huge chunk of money on something stupid one time by itself is not a reason to break up with your pregnant girlfriend.
Ah, ok got it. I thought she was hinting she had a secret then just came out and said the news, not hinting to the secret info itself.
I would still tell DH. I hate the sick feeling of keeping secrets, especially if you didn't "want to know" them. As for telling her BF, that I wouldn't do. I would mind my own business at that point. I have no duty or obligation to BF and it isn't like there is abuse or something horrible going on, ya know?
And I still stand by the fact she isn't going to get dumped over 80 quid. If this truly is her first offense and she has been a stellar GF up to this point and he does dump her over one thing then she can consider herself lucky. Cuz he would be the biggest @$$ on the planet. I mean, sure, 80 quid can be a lot. I remember the time that was my entire monthly food budget so spending it all on a stupid, useless procedure (since she is having it for free with the NHS in a couple of weeks) would seriously piss me off, but it wouldn't make me dump my partner. Now, if this was one thing in a long line of things then yeah, sure, the straw that broke the camel's back and all....