Entertaining Ideas
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Being asked to bring food for dinner?
I often wonder what is appropriate to ask of someone to bring to a dinner that you've invited them to.
When I have a casual dinner with close friends, and my friend asks if she can bring a salad, I typically oblige because I know she likes to contribute. On the other hand, if I am having people over that I don't know very well, I typically tell them we will provide food and drinks but that they can bring their favorite beverage if they'd like.
I came upon a similar situation with a friend (not super close) who invited us to dinner and then asked us to bring a salad and dessert. I don't mind doing that, but am just curious if that is normal. I am sure it just depends on the people and situation, but wanted to get some thoughts.
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Re: Being asked to bring food for dinner?
That it does. Was the party you were invited to a casual thing? If so, potluck seems just fine to me. I don't generally do potlucks because I'm a control freak, but I never mind asking for or giving help.
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This one was casual, so not a huge deal, it just got me thinking.
If someone asked me to bring salad and dessert, unprompted, I would be really annoyed. However, it doesn't bug me to bring something if I offer.
I always say, "We'd love to come. Is there anything I can bring?" If the hostess says no, I assume she has set a menu and doesn't want contributions. If she says yes, I usually expect that she'll ask me to bring something. (Salad, bread, dessert, etc). If it's friends we know well, I'll sometimes also bring a bottle of wine.
If I'm bringing salad, bread, dessert, and a bottle of wine, I wonder why in the world you asked me to dinner. :-)
LOL. Thankfully that's never happened to me. But, I'd be asking the same thing.
So, the general consensus seems to be that we don't mind bringing something especially if we offer, but don't ask us to bring the entire meal
exactly, a meat course and a side is a meal....I could see asking for sides but I think for a bbq they need to provide the meat
I think it's a little strange they asked you to bring salad and dessert. One or the other, maybe, but both? Most weeknights, that's a full meal around my house!
I think it all depends on the invitation as well."Should we do dinner together?" (which, to me, implies equal contributions to the meal) is different than "Would you like to come over for dinner?" (which, to me, implies that the meal could be provided as a whole by the person doing the inviting -- it would be up to the guest at that point to offer to bring something).
I agree with LittleLionC. Being asked to bring two items seems like a lot.
Although as a hostess, I find it generous when people bring more than one item. For instance recently, some friends brought a 12-pack of beer, two containers of salsa and chips to a bbq. I thanked them for bringing so much.
I always plan on making everything myself when I invite people over. If someone asks, I always say that we have everything taken care of. My SIL and MIL always bring side dishes and MIL always cooks the turkey on Thanksgiving, even if she is coming to our house. I have no problem with this because I can't stand cooking the turkey.
When I go to a party, I always bring something that will compliment what the host is making, nothing too crazy that will overshadow what they have made. I always ask first.
I find it rude! I think it is always nice if people ask if you need any help, but if they don?t then you don?t invite them to something, and tell/ expect them to bring something. If you are hosting a party, then be prepared to host it all unless offered help.
I am actually a bridesmaid in a wedding; I offered to bring something for the shower. I find out two weeks later they asked all the bridesmaids to contribute 50.00 for food and d?cor. Well I was a bit upset, but all in all agreed. I then find out later they wanted me to ask my mom (no relation to the bride and groom, but seeing eachother in church) to donate 50 sandwiches cut into four squares to the shower. I?m sorry, but what is my money going towards? It is just a bit upsetting, and I think very rude.
When we do dinner with our good friends, the house that is hosting dinner provides the whole meal and the visiting friends brings dessert.
DH and I have gone to our friend's cabin for the last 5 years for a memorial day camping trip. Each couple brings their own meats and a side/dessert to share. The friend whose cabin we go to provides all the condiments, rolls, paper products, all the fixins for s'mores, etc. It works for us though b/c it's just been tradition (we were 20 when we started this) and there are so many people coming and going through out the day and no one ever eats at the same time.
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This exactly. If we're invited to someone's home, we usually bring wine, beer and/or cupcakes. When we are hosting, I don't ask them to bring anything. If we are bbqing or having people over for a sporting event - people know to bring beer or their favorite drink. We don't even have to ask.
I do however, have to tell my MIL to bring something for Thanksgiving - we cook everything - the least she could do is bring some pumpkin pie.
I really think it depends on the situation and the people. I always offer to bring something no matter who's house. If I'm going to someone's house I don't know well or have never been to before, I will bring whatever they suggest/request and/or a small hostess gift.
However, I have friends that we don't ask any more if we should bring something. When we all get together, we all know the hosts (one of our friends has a house while the rest of us rent very small apartments, so they host the most) supply the meat, I bring the salad, and our other friend brings dessert. This also works out since both of my friends have Celiac's and have to be very careful about ingredients, so they worry about the dishes that are most likely to have gluten in them, and I bring a salad. But these are also the kind of friends that if one of us is hosting and runs out of an ingrediant for dinner, we have no problem calling one of the others to ask if they can bring it when they come. We usually have dinner with any combination of the 3 couples at least once a week.
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