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2 months ago I had to take the 1 hour glucose test. Why so early? Because I'm so fat. Having to do it twice is apparently my punishment for being the fattest woman in the world ever to get pg. Well I failed the 1 hour and had to do the 3 hour, which sucked ass but I passed it. Then on Monday I had to do the one hour AGAIN and failed it AGAIN. Wtf is wrong with me?! No one I've heard of has EVER had to do the 3 hour twice in one pregnancy. I feel like a complete failure as a mother and the baby isn't even born yet. Why can I even get pregnant if I'm too damn fat to have a healthy baby? I know this might not be a big deal to some people but I'm just devastated and I completely hate myself and my body right now.
Re: Stupid GD test
No, you aren't that gigantic. You can absolutely have a normal pregnancy. Have you considered finding a midwife? They may be more sensitive to your feelings, and they believe things are more natural, so to speak, and know that a woman's body is meant to do this. Honestly I am surprised they made you do it so early, but you passed the first time and you will pass again! Do you know what your numbers were?
At the heaviest point in her pregnancy, my sister weighed 115lbs. My nephew was born at approx 6lbs and by the time I saw my sister (1mo post giving birth) she was down to approx 98lbs (she's small boned and short, not sick). She had GD w/ my nephew.
She's fine and even went on to have my niece, a few years later (she also had GD w/ that pregnancy). Nephew, having turned 22yrs old in July and graduated from Georgetown U. w/ honors in May, it's looking like he turned out ok. Niece just turned 17, is vice president of her class, a cheerleader, and generally a sweet, wonderful kid... so it's also looking ok for her too!
Seriously though, neither has any health problems and both are perfectly healthy sized/weights w/ no sugar/DB problems. Long story short, GD can happen to anyone and, as long as you act responsibly (which I'm sure you are), your baby will be fine! Sorry for the stress!
It doesn't make you a bad mom at all! The fact that you are continuing with the tests means that you are caring for your baby. Honestly, I'm surprised though that they didn't do some sort of blood sugar monitoring after your first test.
But, you can absolutely have a normal pregnancy
I have mine on Sept. 7. They only do 3 hour tests at my doctor's office, so I have to suffer through the whole 3 hours. I am TERRIFIED, because my mother was a Type I diabetic, and my dad is Type II. The disease is rampant in my family. Not that I don't know how the disease works, and blood sugars and everything, but I am so scared.
So see, you're not alone with this crap. Hugs!
Sorry :-( I get super stressed out at doctor's offices. And nothing makes me feel guilty like I do when they ask me questions lately that I know I have the wrong answer for - I'm already feeling like I'm not doing a good enough job and I'm only 6 weeks in!
If they're making you feel uncomfortable, I really do think that you should look for another practice. You still have a ways to go and you want to make sure you feel confident and happy through the next several months.
((hugs))
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks