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WDYT? Social/Wedding Situation

MH has a friend who is getting married in October. They are not extremely close friends and I don't know the friend's fiancee well either, but we all did hang out a few years ago and she and I are FB friends. Over the past months, H and the friend, R, have been talking a lot more. It got to the point where R kept telling H that he wanted H to come to his bachelor party out of town. H joked around that if he spent the money to go, he would be off the hook with having to attend R's wedding. R joked around back and said something like "no problem, your wedding gift to me will be coming to the bachelor weekend and my gift to you is I won't even send you an invitation so you won't need to come." They laughed about this but H was pretty much serious about it. He just has no desire to go to this guy's wedding, but he is glad to go to the bach party.

Earlier this week, we received their wedding invitation in the mail, which we were both surprised about. We had not thought we'd really be invited. A few days after that, H decided he would go to the out-of-town bachelor party and he booked his plane tickets. Because he's going to the party, he tells me that he and I are definitely not going to the wedding. He's like "R and I made a deal, I'm going to his bach party so I don't need to go to the wedding!"

Personally, I am happy to go to the wedding, and I think it would be rude not to. There's no reason that we can't go. It is an hour drive away, but everything in the Tampa bay area usually is, big deal. But H is saying he doesn't want to and we don't need to.

Isn't this a weird situation? Do you agree with me that it would be rude if we blew off this wedding? It will be obvious that we aren't coming just because we don't want to. If we rsvp no, with some made up excuse, R will probably tell his fiancee the whole story. I don't know, the whole thing just rubs me the wrong way. It annoys me that H didn't even take my feelings into consideration, namely the fact that I would have no problem attending the wedding. I enjoy weddings!

Re: WDYT? Social/Wedding Situation

  • I think it's rude, but MH would probably be thinking the same way your H is. 

    Maybe the fiance made him send the invite, bc she thought it would be rude not to? Sometimes I'm really glad that we don't have a bunch of random friends/acquaintances.  

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  • My guess is his FI made him send the invite because she thought it was rude not to.  I would tell your H you want to go to the wedding though.  If you want to go and he gets the bach party, I think you should win on this!  Plus, all you have to do is buy a gift and enjoy a free meal and party.  I'm with you, I would go.  But I also like weddings.

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  • I like weddings too.  Tell him you win and he's got to suck it up and go :)  Besides you've got to get a gift reguardless, might as well get some dinner and cake out of it!  Wink
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  • I would convince H we needed to go. Not only because I like to go to weddings, but because deal or no deal between the guys, I would think it's a little weird not to attend when H was going to the bach party. Although, I'd don't think I'd ever be in that situation because my H loves weddings too.
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  • I remember my mom telling me when I was planning my wedding, that you shouldn't invite someone to a pre-wedding event if they weren't invited to the wedding. I say either skip both or go to both.
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  • Thanks girls. I talked to H about everything and explained that I was upset that he didn't take me into consideration with all this and he admitted that he definitely didn't. But we realized that he will be needing to work that day anyway, and it would not make sense for him to take the day off for this wedding. So that solves that :)
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