future sister-in-law

sweetpeasMom

I posted something close to this the other day about my sister. Bottom line is people will do what they want to do despite all the red flags and warnings they receive from others. This girl clearly has all the information she needs to know that this marriage will be a bad one. She doesn't care, she just needed to "vent," and then continue on doing what she has been thus far. Good luck.

His#1Girl

sarahldausch:

I know he has a lot of growing up to do and he has gotten much better at telling his parents to mind their own business and that once we are married, things will be changing. 

No, they won't change.

sarahldausch:

It's just frustrating because I don't know what it's going to be like. 

You are being shown *exactly* what it's going to be like, you just don't want to see it.  If you are frustrated now, you will be kicking yourself in the butt later on.

 

catmiss9

Run fast, run hard, run far. A wedding ring will not change attitudes or behaviors.

Velvetshady

sarahldausch:

Wow I'm really surprised that everyone's response was to just walk away.  Yes that would be the simple answer

And sometimes, the Right answer, really is the simple answer.

 

sarahldausch:

once we are married, things will be changing.  It's just frustrating because I don't know what it's going to be like.

I wonder, what are the things your FI is assuming will change about YOU once the ring does its magic?

 

The only advice I can offer is to marry the person you want to spend your life with, not the person you hope will transform into the person you want to spend your life with.

 

trigal

Marriage doesn't make problems go away.  Marriage makes problems bigger.

Sue_sue

trigal:

Marriage doesn't make problems go away.  Marriage makes problems bigger.

And permanent, too.

JJcre8

I agree, it looks like you're getting really good advice from everyone.  I am married to a man that has trouble with confrontation from his family... and there has definitely been a bit of it.  Before he was ready to stand up to them and say something, we went through a horrible patch in our marriage.  He's done a 360 and it's made a world of difference, but I don;t think that this is common.  

I can't get passed the not speaking for 2 days part.  I wish you luck in what ever your decision is. 

Allgaier

sarahldausch:

Wow I'm really surprised that everyone's response was to just walk away.  Yes that would be the simple answer

It's the simple but correct answer. It's simple because their really is no reason to make it complicated it. Basically we already know you're not going to leave him. Best of luck to you. But I can tell you from experience it's not going to last, and he will never change.

 Been there done that. Seriously. And divorce is no fun.