I'm a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding. The bride emailed us and told us what dress to buy. So I'm wondering - is that common? I mean I really didn't care what my girls wore as long as it was floor length (formal wedding) and the color I wanted. Otherwise, they had free reign to select something everyone liked and felt comfortable in. We weren't given a choice (even like "decide between these 2 or 3") and I kinda feel like it's difficult to swallow.
Maybe it has to do with the fact that the dress is literally made for junior bridesmaids (it's noted as such) but comes in all sizes and looks WAY too young for anyone over 21. And all of us are over 25, except for 1 girl. There's no structure to the dress so I will have to have boning put in (hello....these 36Ds aren't going to hold themselves in and a strapless bra will not work in the dress).
I'm usually not one to really complain (I work with lots of brides and see many different styles) and I get that it's her wedding and she can have whatever she wants but I just am disappointed and a little frustrated (especially since we're being told what to pay (over $150 + alterations) without any thoughts about what people can afford, etc. I am fortunate to be able to swing it without worry but I know that some (especially the girl with all 5 kids in the wedding and her husband as a GM) are going to struggle with it as is the single gal trying to find a job. ![]()
Re: WR Question...
Most weddings I've been in, unfortunately, had the dress dictated and we all wore the same one. I agree it's frustrating but it comes with the bridesmaid territory. This is why I let my bridesmaids choose their own dress, although I chose the color and they were from the same manufacturer.
OP- I did the same as you. Picked a length and color and gave my girls free reign. But, unfortunately, we might be the minority and just because we did it doesn't mean that other brides will.
If you are close with the bride, you can try reasoning with her... but some girls get wedding brain and just don't consider how their BMs feel in their dresses. I went to a wedding in July and all I could think was "Holy crap, those BMs must love the heck out of that bride, because I would absolutely NOT spend money on something that hideous"... they were in these poofy, flowy, feathery canary yellow monstrosities.... WITH matching shoes, jewelry and nails. Bleh. Some girls go for the cookie cutter "You will wear what I tell you to wear and LIKE it" look. Personally, I would rather my girls look and feel like themselves.... totally fabulous!
Personally, if it were me... depending on how close I was to the bride, I would talk to her first, then do one of two things...
1. Suck it up, wear the dress, look like a 15 year old, smile pretty and just deal for a day. I mean... you did agree to be a BM and wearing fugly dresses is part of the cliche territory of a BM... it IS only one day.
2. Tell her where to stick her kiddie dress. $150 is a lot of money to spend on something you don't like.
Again... that depends on how much I like/care about the bride. Good luck!
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monica & kevin married 5.28.11
bfp 8.11.11 - m/c 8.17.11
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Oh... if/when you try talking to her... make sure you mention about how physically uncomfortable it might be trying to contain your girls with what little support is included in the dress... and how awkward it would be if they flopped out in the middle of her ceremony. That might do the trick.
Maybe offer to look with her and help her find something similar that would offer the well endowed ladies a little more support.
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monica & kevin married 5.28.11
bfp 8.11.11 - m/c 8.17.11
bfp 11.11.11 - edd 7.25.12
I did both. And she said she tried it on and it was fine. She has size A boobs. I found a great alternative (it's actually the same company so same colors but it's the "adult" version - literally - of the same dress. It's a much nicer fabric and offers more support.
I mean, this thing is pool blue with a poofy chiffon overly, a brown thin ribbon with a bow at the waist (bow ties hang down to the knees) and ON the bow is a huge white flower (like, can't put your hands at your side big) and then at the bottom, there is a huge pleated brown ruffle.
I'm going to suck it up because it's my brother's fiancee. I have to. I just needed to vent.
You are a good sister. Make sure you take lots of pictures so you can look back and laugh in a few years.
Miss Mrs. New & Improved Blog Chart
Online Garage Sale
monica & kevin married 5.28.11
bfp 8.11.11 - m/c 8.17.11
bfp 11.11.11 - edd 7.25.12
When I got married I have the girls choices but no one could come up with anything. It was, "whatever" so I picked. Some liked and some didn't but I gave them the option.
Most weddings I've been in I've never been given an option. I honestly don't care, it's for a few hours. Not that big of a deal to me.
Oh ok. I did talk about it and the girls all went with me to try on dresses. They all said they liked the dress I picked out. Sorry your dress is awful. Maybe you can use it like in the movie 27 dresses lol.
My girls were the same way. I had all but 2 with me and they tried on a multitude of dresses and they told me what they hated but then were very "eh, whatever" so fine, I picked one out for them. Ive actually been to and in a few and have yet to see non-matching dresses, so for me its expected. but I agree, she should have had others try on the dress before fully deciding.
People are inherently stupid. Weddings make it painfully obvious -- KevinandMonica
See - that's all I wanted. You rock!
I would post the picture but literally it is SO misrepresented on the site. It actually looks semi decent on the site because of the photoshopping (i.e., the layering that looks horrificially cheap in person isn't visibile, pleating isn't in the ruffle, and the flower is 1/3 of the size). Uber false advertising! I'll share pics when it comes in.