Cleaning & Organizing
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Help I'm drowning in housework!
Right now I'm a SAHM of three kids aged 23 mos, 10 mos and just over a week old. I am having a major issue, I can't seem to get more than one chore done a day and then I'm exhausted. I'm not sure what to do because the house is a mess and I want to get it clean but I just can't seem to. My DH tells me that it's my job as a housewife to keep a clean house all the time and that his mother managed to do it with 3 kids. I'm sick of him constantly telling me that but then not helping out because he works and shouldn't have to.
Sorry I've turned this into a mini rant but any helpful tips would be appreciated.
Re: Help I'm drowning in housework!
It sounds like things got a little piled up since you just had another LO (congrats) and its hard to catch up on top of that.
Is it possible for your mom or MIL to take the kids for a day and you get some uninterrupted cleaning done? I think once everything is in 100% working order you'll be able to keep up with things a lot better.
Also make lists of everything you need to do every day. I'm sure its extremely hard to be a wonderful mother to 3 LO's and keep up with everything but you can do it!!
I think you've got a lot on your plate and your DH needs to recognize that. I am guessing that his mom didn't have 3 under 2 but I could be wrong. But who knows what her house looked like when he was 2 - I am sure he doesn't remember. And things were also different when we were younger - parents sent their kids to the park and had them walk home alone and moms had more time to do other stuff. But I am guessing you get almost no break. My suggestion is to let him deal with all three of them on a Saturday for the whole day and see if he gets time to do housework.
I also don't think it is fair to compare you to his mom - unless he's willing to have all his actions scrutinized against what your dad or uncle or grandfather did, etc (i.e. I am sure he wouldn't want you to suggest he make more money than he does because you had an uncle who did or whatever).
Beyond that, see if you can find out what bothers him the most - for my husband it is toys in the family room. He doesn't car about dishes in the sink or laundry needing to be folded - just likes it tidy when he comes in. If you can prioritize things like that, it might help take some of the pressure off.
I'll be honest..Tell your husband
a) To pick up a vacuum and a scrub rag
b) To stay home with the kids and you can go back to work and he can see how "easy" it is to get stuff done.
I only have one kid but at a week old my house was a complete disaster and I'm a Clean Queen who had everything in it's place before the hospital even.
With a one week old you should be sitting on the couch still taking care of that baby and resting yourself.
It'll all come in time. Do what you can and ignore the rest. You're husband will get over it or he's a complete assh*t otherwise.
Tell him your job is to stay home to take care of the kids, not clean the house every minute of the day.
Babies remember being rocked and played with not how clean the house was. My Mom's house was always a complete disaster and still is (small house with 3 kids) but man we were happy kids anyways!
Seriously? I'm a SAHM to one toddler and DH helps me! I think it is time to sit him down and talk to him, you have 3 kids, you are a stay at home MOM, not stay at home housekeeper. I do think apart of being a SAHM is working on the house, but it is his home aswell and he needs to help! If he can't see that I would recommend marriage counseling. Also comparing you to him mom is messed up, that would really bother me and make me feel disrespected.
Now as for advice I really love this setup:
http://www.justmommies.com/articles/home-organization-plan.php
It is awesome because it has plenty of "catch up days" so evenb if I get behind I can play catch up. I also like that every night I can sit down for 5 minuites with a cup of hot tea and write my to do list for the next day. I know exactly what I need to do weekly, monthly, and bi weekly, and it is easy to schedule.
I also like to do 5 minuite tidys. So DS and I turn on music and for 3 fun songs we speed "clean" a room. It is a bit fun and even though DS is to young to truly help he likes watching me rush around so he is entertained. Thid is not deep cleaning, it is just picking up and getting things organized....whatever you can do in that time! These have made a HUGE diffrence.
As for DH: I never liked giving an adult man a chore char but for some odd reason my DH wanted one. I took a piece of paper and made a graph so each day of the week had a space. His "chores" are really just taking out trash, compost, recycling. So each day he has something such as emptying bathroom trash, take out compost jar, etc... He keeps it in a page protector and uses a dry erase marker to cross stuff off. I also like it because I can write hi sweet thank you notes on it or add something I may need him to do. I think it is silly and feel odd giving DH "chores" but he really likes it and says it is fun to check stuff off
Also my DH helps around the house just because. Just like I do specail stuff like bake his favorite cookies just because he will wash the dishes or pick stuff up just because. your DH needs to help out!
Wait one of your babies is just over a week old? Forget this!!! Just rest and take care of your LO and the other two kids. Why in the world are you worried about a clean house right now. LOL relax and take care of the kids...you just gave birth and your DH should be stepping up BIG time. I can't imagine having 3 under 3, especially with a tiny newborn! RELAX!!!
Yes, being a housewife is your full time job. So tell him you're on a 3 month maternity leave and he can handle things until you're back from leave.
You just gave birth, of course you are exhausted. And tell your DH he is an a.s.s.
Your husband is an ass. He knocked you up one month post partum, and now with a a ONE WEEK OLD is expecting a lot from you?
Ass. And I never curse.
I would be furious. FURIOUS!
I agree with the sentiments of the PP's. You have three kids to take care of. Focus on that, and everything else will fall into place in due time. You need to take care of yourself right now, especially since you have a newborn.
It's probably time to have a serious conversation with your DH about the housework. Even when you are fully recovered from delivering a baby, three kids and all the housework is a lot for one person to take care of. He needs to pitch in. I like the idea of a chart so he knows exactly what is expected of him and when he needs to get it done. And, I agree with the other PP that mentioned that your house does not need to be perfect. Your kids will appreciate a mom who does not stress about making sure the house is perfect but rather one who balances housework with quality time with them.
Good luck.
I agree with everyone! You probably spend the whole day going from one kid to another making sure their needs are met. I would remind your husband that you are a stay at home MOM first and you are doing that as your priority.
I only have 2 but they were close in age. I would try to do 10 or 15 mins worth of stuff when I could. You could also enlist some help from your oldest kiddo. That child could help pick up toys or give them a rag and wipe something. Mine love to do that! Otherwise, lower your expectations and do what you can. HUGS!
If this isnt MUD which I thought it was the first time you posted/......you are a complete moron...actually a bigger moron than your douche H.
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/57549336.aspx
You don't have a 'no time to clean your house' problem.
You have a 'misogynistic jackasss for a husband' problem.
There's an easy way to fix that.
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