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BR: Ames, MB and other Moms
This goes back to your comments on "What's your sleep secret" about getting babies on a sleep schedule.
First, I haven't posted much lately because I've been so busy/overwhelmed. Having a baby/newborn is much harder than I thought and I'm not afraid to admit that I feel a bit defeated.
The idea of an infant-sleeping/eating/pooping and all of the cuteness is awesome but that's NOT reality (at least not for me). Don't get me wrong, I love my son to death but it's very hard/exhausting work. I knew that having a baby was gong to be hard work, but I don't think I really understood everything that's involved.
I sometimes feel like a failure because I just want to do what's best for him and be the best mom I can be and sometimes he still screams and cries. Sleeping is a big issue and I'm just feeling so overwhelmed.
So, I'm asking for advice. How did you get your baby on a sleep schedule. What kinds of things did you do to make things better. Am I the only one feeling this way?
I can't get any sleep. Wyatt wants to cluster feed for hours on end. I feel emotionally and mentally exhausted. Last night he was so fussy and just cried for hours. The only thing I could do was walk around with him and rock him in my arms. Last night he was so worked up that he was crying real tears. It breaks my heart.
Re: BR: Ames, MB and other Moms
Have you talked to your pediatrician? Colic and/or reflux are my first two thoughts... and if he's suffering from either of those, a sleep schedule won't be in the cards until he himself can be comfortable.
updated 10.03.12
I would also look into the reflux thing.
Another thought I had was having your H help with feeding him. Are you pumping yet? I know you're EBFing but if you're pumping, having your H fill in for you for a feeding or two will help you get some rest... Even its only for an hour.
My Acme Box last update 3/28/11
Please don't take this the wrong way... but I have read that milk production slows down in the evening mostly due to baby feeding all day. So by the time evening/bedtime rolls around, baby is on your bewb most of the time because you're just not producing as much as or your running low.
My Acme Box last update 3/28/11
First of all, everything you're feeling is completely normal and you are definitely not the only one feeling that way. Its true, you know that being a mom will be hard work, but you don't really know until baby is here. Just take your time, know there is going to be some stress and fumbling, so let go of the "perfect" mother notion as soon as you can - trying to do the best for him is what makes you the best mom, not getting everything right the first time every time. I'll be honest, especially in the beginning, there where times where I had to put her in her sleeper, PnP, crib, whatever, and go into the other room and scream because I was so overwhelmed, and honestly, that made me feel so much better. I don't know what your social environment is like, but if you live near family and friends, ask them to come over and watch Wyatt for a while, so you can - nap, shower, read, go to a store, go to a park, do anything for yourself. Wyatt will be fine for an hour or two (especially if you can pump), and you should allow yourself the break.
As far as sleeping, we made no attempt to "schedule" until Phoenix was about 3months old. I started to notice that she would nap around the same times, and go to bed around the same times, naturally. So, I went with those times, and made sure that even on days when she wasn't acting tired at those times, I still put her down...and sure enough, within minutes she was asleep. She was also really good about sleeping through the night pretty early, so, I don't have a ton of advice there. With cluster feeding, again if you can pump, maybe your H can take a few shifts so you can get some sleep, plus he'll get some bonding time.
The only other thing I can say, and this won't be a ton of help I know, but it really does get better. The three months, to me, were absolutely the most difficult. But slowly the cluster feedings will end, you'll both start getting into a groove, they start doing more then eat, sleep, poop, and cry. I can't say its easier but it is better...if that makes sense.
... and if that's the case, Fenugreek is your best friend. I would actually suggest taking it anyway for milk supply -- too much can never hurt!
updated 10.03.12
<a href="http://s65.photobucket.com/albums/h205/adia83/?action=view
THIS!
Also, you really can't start a sleep schedule until your baby is around four months. I mean, you can try, but it probably won't work.
And with EBF, I was tethered to the baby (or rather him to my boob) for almost 24 hours a day for the first six weeks. A pedi might tell you that your child should only be eating every 2-3 hours. That is hardly ever the case. Adrian ate every 1.5-2 hours and sometimes he'd be hungry 30 minutes after I finished feeding him (even if he had nursed for 45 minutes at the prior feeding).
Part of what helped me feel less frazzled was realizing that the kid was going to eat at all times and almost constantly, and that that was OK.
The beginning is the hardest. Like many said, it is way to early to expect to get a sleeping 'schedule'. In a few months, when he is getting to the point of showing some consistency, you can start bedtime routines and such and he will get the point of a regular night time schedule.
Weston had some hard nights and what helped me make through it most was Floyd. On the rougher of nights, we would do shifts. One of us would sleep in the bedroom for half of the night and the other would have Weston in the PnP in the living room. All I would have to do is pump and Floyd would do the rest on his shift. It really helped us function on those sleepless nights.
The other mom's had a lot of good suggestions and points to think about. Have you tried Gripe Water? When Nate was little, that stuff was a miracle worker. Idk why but it just helped him so much.
Another question, although it does sound like he has Colic, but perhaps he has a milk allergy. Have you tried cutting dairy out of your diet and seeing if that makes a difference? I know a lot of people that helped tremendously. It's a pain for you because you literally can't have any at all, milk, yogurt, cheese, any eggs that are baked etc. but it may be the cause of the discomfort. I know you want to EBF/Pump but maybe try a soy formula to see if it's the problem.
Nate, like Ellie put himself on a schedule. He also had some formula too so even if my body wasn't producing the right amount for him, he got the amount he needed from the formula too. He has been sleeping through the night since 8 weeks. I think a lot has to do with the fact that he's a big boy and eats a lot!
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