Worst baby name you ever heard?

MrsBini10

Let's hear those terrible names! My mom's friend once taught a little (American) girl named Vagina. For real.

dorothyinAus

Teriyaki LaQuanna (I have no idea whether this was a boy or a girl, I just saw the name on a charity shamrock)

Fructose (male plaintiff in a penile implant case I worked)

Pancreatitis (male landscaping contractor for a failed casino in NO)

Kiwi Plum (co-worker's daughter)

Breeze (co-worker's granddaughter)

Rebel (girl on a particularly offensive Jenny Craig ad here)

Jetur20

dorothyinAus:

Teriyaki LaQuanna (I have no idea whether this was a boy or a girl, I just saw the name on a charity shamrock)

Fructose (male plaintiff in a penile implant case I worked)

Pancreatitis (male landscaping contractor for a failed casino in NO)

Kiwi Plum (co-worker's daughter)

Breeze (co-worker's granddaughter)

Rebel (girl on a particularly offensive Jenny Craig ad here)

Holy crap.  I'd be so pissed at my parents. 

traveling turtle

It was pronounced Cling-qway. I believe it was spelled Clinique, though. The mom wanted to name her daughter "after that make-up brand, you know, at the mall."

Emily523

traveling turtle:

It was pronounced Cling-qway. I believe it was spelled Clinique, though. The mom wanted to name her daughter "after that make-up brand, you know, at the mall."

lol. 

Emily523

I knew a girl named Millionaire in HS.  

Mrs DRJ

Most of these names are from people I know/use to know, but they were babies at one point.

Ocean Island House -- not kidding his parents were hippies.  Last I heard he was in California.  

Crystal Ball -- DH's former colleague and she ran for Congress in the last election and lost.

Sandy Weiner -- This is a guy.  Nuff said in my opinion.

  

welshgirl

Lanzarote - a girl in the local school system.

MrsBini10

Ohhh...I knew a guy in HS named Sophocles Sophocles. Same first and last name.

Emily523

I knew a Bassy Bassy.  

ktkl09

My SIL worked in an inner city public school in St.Louis for three years. The night before her first day we'd get together with my brother, her mom, and my mom and try to pronounce the names. Most were hard to pronounce, but there were some winners:

Two-Star

Sexilinga

Dazzle 

bugabean

Senephren Nyquil

or

Sheboygan

can't decide 

Leo713

A work contact here named her son Genius Real.  She's pregnant again and I can't WAIT to hear the next name.

Publius

Nevaeh was the 25th most popular name for girls born in the United States last year.  If that is now mainstream it makes me wonder what kind of other bad names are out there.  

PittPurple

DH went to school with someone named Crystal Chandelier. She got married at 17, I'm assuming because she just couldn't wait another year to change her name.

azure_azure

Wow! Those are some bad names!

I remember my aunt telling me that a baby born in her village in Quebec was named Spatula. Eventually the government (or whoever takes care of it) stepped in and didn't allow the mother to name her child after a kitchen utensil.

Publius

azure_azure:

Wow! Those are some bad names!

I remember my aunt telling me that a baby born in her village in Quebec was named Spatula. Eventually the government (or whoever takes care of it) stepped in and didn't allow the mother to name her child after a kitchen utensil.

My French teacher in Geneva once told me that her sister had named her niece P?riph?rique.  She also said that she went to school with a girl named Juste, which became a problem when she would introduce herself.

ebartzen

My cousin named her baby Dutch. And their last name is Vallone. I think he sounds like a 1950s Chicago mobster, all he needs is a fedora and a cigar. His grandmother won't call him by his name, she just says, "baby".

NCV2

I worked at the West Philadelphia welfare office for a year.  Then I had to peace b/c that job sucked the big one.  

I also had a Crystal Ball.

Lilly White- kid was black.

Also a Vagina- 14 year old mom thought it was Virginia.  oops.

The Understanding Family was one of my favs:

Iam Understanding

Your Understanding

Justice Understanding We didn't get this one at first, until I met the mom and she said the kid's name as Just-us so Just-Us Understanding. 

 

I will have to think, I know I have more. 

allibally

bugabean:

Senephren Nyquil

or

Sheboygan

can't decide

Sheboygan gets me everytime. I went to kindergarten with a boy name I. Supreme.

ReidsGirl

La-a (A patient I had once and when I tried to pronounce it as "Lah-a", the mom said and I qoute, "The dash don't be silent.  It's Ladasha". 

Kric (Again, another patient.  I said "Kric" and his mom said "It is Eric".  And I said oh I am sorry, they misspelled it.  She said "no, that is right, my friend's said I should call him Eric but spell it with a K".  I think her firends meant Erik!  WOW! It was on his birth certificate!

 I am not making this stuff up!!

 I came across many more as a nurse, but these stick out as being the worst!

elenetxu

Publius:

Nevaeh was the 25th most popular name for girls born in the United States last year.  If that is now mainstream it makes me wonder what kind of other bad names are out there.  

 

How does one pronounce that name!?

 

I've seen the name Crystal Jewel.

sucredee

Wow, most of these are a lot worse than I was expecting ! I thought mine was bad but compared to some of these it is certainly not the worst. Anyway, we had a patient and her name was Abcde. As in absedee. My hubby had a patient named Appleseed Jesus daughter and that was her own choice!

Publius

elenetxu:

Publius:

Nevaeh was the 25th most popular name for girls born in the United States last year.  If that is now mainstream it makes me wonder what kind of other bad names are out there.  

 

How does one pronounce that name!?

 

I've seen the name Crystal Jewel.

Near as I can figure, tree are two or three different ways to pronounce it depending on how original the mother thought she was when she picked the name. The most common pronunciation is Nuh-vay-uh, but I have also heard Nuh-vay and Neve-uh. Also, last year something like 100 girls were named Devaeh. That is heaved spelled backwards. Ordinarily what something spells backwards is no big deal, but given that Nevaeh's big draw is that it is heaven spelled backwards, you'd think people would pay attention to that.

myblueangel19

Publius:

elenetxu:

Publius:

Nevaeh was the 25th most popular name for girls born in the United States last year.  If that is now mainstream it makes me wonder what kind of other bad names are out there.  

 

How does one pronounce that name!?

 

I've seen the name Crystal Jewel.

Near as I can figure, tree are two or three different ways to pronounce it depending on how original the mother thought she was when she picked the name. The most common pronunciation is Nuh-vay-uh, but I have also heard Nuh-vay and Neve-uh. Also, last year something like 100 girls were named Devaeh. That is heaved spelled backwards. Ordinarily what something spells backwards is no big deal, but given that Nevaeh's big draw is that it is heaven spelled backwards, you'd think people would pay attention to that.

Maybe she had a cold when trying to give them the name Nevaeh and it came out as Devaeh so she decided to keep it?

and as for Eric with a K *FACE PALM* omg is that even possible? Kric?? seriously?

TamponMary

Everybody knows someone who's mom's cousin's best friend once taught a girl named Vagina or Female (pronounced Feh-mal-ay) or something like that.

VABeach08

I'm sure these aren't the worst (I really hate odd spellings, etc), but let's just call these hmm kind of names:

Crystal Diamond (Diamond is her last name by marriage, so she chose to do this)

Jewel Lee (So her first and last name sound like "Julie")

Gayle Gail (again, last name by marriage, so this was a choice) I can understand wanting/agreeing to take your H's name-- kids/convenience/choice/preference/oppression* but wouldn't you at least hyphenate or use two names?

*Disclaimer:  I'm totally kidding with the oppression comment-- I took my H's last name-- I really thought long and hard and respect either choice.  And yes, I know, actual oppression isn't funny and I do value the fact that I had a choice as to whether or not to change my name.  Heck, that I had a choice as to whether or not to get married at all. 

MrsBini10

VABeach08:

I'm sure these aren't the worst (I really hate odd spellings, etc), but let's just call these hmm kind of names:

Crystal Diamond (Diamond is her last name by marriage, so she chose to do this)

Jewel Lee (So her first and last name sound like "Julie")

Gayle Gail (again, last name by marriage, so this was a choice) I can understand wanting/agreeing to take your H's name-- kids/convenience/choice/preference/oppression* but wouldn't you at least hyphenate or use two names?

*Disclaimer:  I'm totally kidding with the oppression comment-- I took my H's last name-- I really thought long and hard and respect either choice.  And yes, I know, actual oppression isn't funny and I do value the fact that I had a choice as to whether or not to change my name.  Heck, that I had a choice as to whether or not to get married at all. 

My cousin's married name will be Laura Lauro. Last I heard she was leaning towards doing it even though it'll sound silly. My dad's friend is Robin (Something) but if she had taken her husband's name she'd have been Robin Rabin.

MrsBini10

Another good one: a woman involved in local politics in my hometown is very religious and homophobic. She was always writing to the local paper about how churches should not allow gay clergy and schools shouldn't hire gay teachers. Her name, I kid you not, was Gaye Church.

snowyowl

Went to school with a kid named Willie Dickie. His Dad's name was *** Dickie. My aunt's BFF is an obgyn and had a patient name her child after the cleaning solution sitting on a shelf in the delivery room. I can't remember exactly was it was, but it was bad. It wasn't even a product name, like Fantastic. It was just the chemical name, written on the bottle. 

Kitty Holland

ebartzen:

My cousin named her baby Dutch. And their last name is Vallone. I think he sounds like a 1950s Chicago mobster, all he needs is a fedora and a cigar. His grandmother won't call him by his name, she just says, "baby".

I think Dutch is a great name for a dog. I can't use it now since I live in Holland - that would be weird.