SingleGirl's Quick Tips for Dating Website Messages
In which SingleGirl shares a few choice messages from her online dating experiences
I?ve been collecting a few of these for a while, and I might post them more often. I get a lot of messages from my online dating profile. Some of them are sincere. Some of them are run-of-the-mill ?Hey you?re cute? messages. And some of them are just strange.
I have compiled a handy list of tips for anyone considering contacting a girl on an internet dating site:
1. Don?t imply that she might be a prostitute.
And if you really live in [place] and you are not earning your money with escort services I'll be happy.
Unless you're specifically referencing Julia Roberts, telling a girl she looks like a hooker will not go over well. Trust me.
2. Don?t imply that she?s a cow.
moooooo!
[something clever and sincere]
say hi if you ever happen to be in berlin.
If you just removed the bovine introduction, this one would have been fine.
3. Pay attention to punctuation. It doesn?t need to be perfect, but you don?t want the girl to get a headache from trying to decipher your message.
So You be an expat? hey i bet you would have NO problem at all using fl studio if someone set it up for you and told you how it worked, i bet youd also blaze right through learning how a drum machine works too, you know they are awfully relaxing , a great thing to chill with a couple hours before bed, fact i like to play with mine in bed when im sleeping along ofcourse, otherwise the constant thumping sound could probably drive anyone mad!
I?m usually willing to forgive this when English is not someone?s first language. But this was from an American.
4. Read at least one line in my profile before you message me.
hei barcelona er en fin by
The first line of my profile says that I don?t speak Norwegian. Maybe I need to say it in Spanish as well.
5. There?s a line between poetic and cheesy.
i see your picture is very nice and attractive me,by this way i'm daring to write you. sincerly your look is typical. it's like a rainbow radiant in sky and candle light at home
Also, you just called me ?typical.? Not really a compliment.
6. Don?t limit yourself to a single suggestive comment.
I a Danish prince .... Wanna see the castle ;-)
What does that even mean?
7. Skip the fairytale clich? unless you put a new twist on it.
8. Avoid sounding like a kidnapper.
What does a lonely prince like me have to do to win your heart??? Kill a dragon? Sure, but what if it is the last???
Conquer a kingdom? Also possible... but why make so many people unhappy? Or just come and take you away, make you mine???
Meeting strangers alone is scary enough as a woman. You probably shouldn?t remind them of all the abduction horror stories they?ve heard.
9. If you realize that your message sounds kind of creepy, maybe you should rethink it.
don't get me wrong, but I'd really would like to photograph you...
Don?t get me wrong, but I?m still a little creeped out.
SingleGirl would like to remind any ML (or other) lurkers that these postings are purely for humor's sake. Please feel free to enjoy them in the spirit in which they were intended. Also, please note that SingleGirl does not usually speak in third person. This was a stylistic choice to allow her to add hindsight commentary and additional narration.
Re: SingleGirl's Quick Tips for Dating Website Messages
Bahaha! As someone currently on a dating website, these are awesome!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I died laughing at this for some reason.
I also can't believe you got that message from an American! Wow, it was hard to understand what he was getting at.
I love your updates and think the use of 3rd person works for them, but I know some MLers didn't realize quite what this was all about before. Anyway, keep up the good work SingleGirl!
TotZiens FTW!
Fvck the world?
Cecilia arrived 12 October 2012
For the win.
LOL!!!!!!!!!! @6 and 8.
hahahahaha oh the joys of dating websites, you should see how nice it is on chatrooms. They can say it all of that live to you