Please tell me it will be OK not to use the monitor!

mrs.magoo

Usually Austin still wakes about 2x or so to nurse at night...as soon as I start hearing him fuss over the monitor - I rush to him to nurse him, so he doesn't wake up too much, since we are not using the family bed...and he usually goes right back to sleep.

...last night I was just too tired to rush to him and he fussed himself back to sleep at one point...1am I fed him and then when he woke at 5am fussing again, I went to him to feed him and change his diaper and put him back down...but he didn't go back down until I did a naptime ritual at 7am...so I am swearing off the monitor all together...I figure a) he'll fuss himself back to sleep b) he may CIO if I don't hear him or c) he'll cry loud enough if he needs me....I'm just totally nervous about it though... 

EastCoastFamily

I don't use the monitor all the time.  Usually it's not on purpose, but we still don't have it on all the time.  Here's the way I see it.  I don't live in a mansion and I can hear my daughter when she's crying.  I've woken up every single time she has ever cried, monitor or not.  I don't think it's a big deal if you decide you want to try not to be so dependant on it.  See how you feel without it, and if you find that you just feel edgy without it, turn it back on.  No harm done. 

EastCoastFamily

PS  Very cute siggy pic, Lis ... so festive!!  Today Alyssa is going to wear her first "festive" outfit ... her Nanny (my MIL) got her the cutest onesy that says "Mommy's Little Pumpkin" ... it's white and orange.  I'm going to pair it up with her little pants that are green and white striped.  If it wasn't raining out, I'd take some pictures outside with the pumpkins and mums.  Maybe if it stops ... we'll see.  Are you going to dress Austin up for Halloween?  We're going to a Baby Boo Bash at a friend's house on Halloween in the afternoon so Alyssa's going to dress up for that. 

mrs.magoo

Good point - I know I'll leave it on in his room just so I can click it on if need be...I just hate hate hate letting him CIO especially if I know he is hungry, which is almost always the case, since he is a fairly good sleeper at night...

Thanks for the compliments on the siggy That sounds like a cute outfit your MIL got Alyssa Today would be a great day to take pics, because it is cloudy, but yeah, figures there is the rain :P You could always try tomorrow! I still want to get Austin to a farm for some pumpkin/fall pics but Tom and I haven't had the time on the weekends.

Austin is just going to wear what he has in my siggy, which is a Carter's "Baby's First Halloween" onesie...nothing major since we won't be going anywhere - Nini Bambini is having a Halloween party this Saturday we were going to go to, but we have a family party to attend - but late Sunday afternoon we may stop by a friend's Halloween party briefly - what's Alyssa going as?

I can't wait for Christmas! Austin has already taken an interest in the Christmas lights he saw at Target  

EastCoastFamily

FWIW, we don't do CIO.  It's not something we want to do so I can understand completely that you dislike it so much!  =(

Alyssa is going to be a princess.  It's totally unoriginal but the costume is precious!!  Next year when she's walking and talking I'll be more creative. 

I'm really enjoying all of Alyssa's firsts (as I'm sure you are with Austin!) ... it's all so exciting and fun ... her first dip in the pool, her first foods, her first trip to the lakehouse, her first "walk" in the lakewater and sand, her first Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas ... I'm just loving all of it and drinking it all in ... we only get this one time.  Isn't that crazy?!?!

mrs.magoo

Yeah, I'm of the philosophy of "if my baby is crying, my baby needs me" - Tom is too...but I'm not 100% into attachment parenting...I try to reach a good medium of both traditional and attachment...

A princess is cute - especially since it's nice and cute and girly I'm sure she'll look adorable

 
The firsts are the best - I'm trying to take it all in too - I feel awfully guilty about not being there mentally for Austin and taking in a lot of when he was really young - but it made me realize how much you have to appreciate everything now...it is true, we only get this one time...I was putting away his 3-6 month clothing and started crying, because he is getting so bit and I started thinking that before I know it he'll be moving out of the house! A bit extreme in my thinking, but you know what I mean...

BTW - did you ever decide to try making your own baby food?
 

lldags

Sorry to butt in!

I wanted to say that I think it is totally fine not to use the monitor, but of course it is all about what you feel comfortable with! 

I also wanted to say that I read your post saying "I feel awfully guilty about not being there mentally for Austin and taking in a lot of when he was really young - but it made me realize how much you have to appreciate everything now...it is true, we only get this one time..."

I wanted to say don't feel guilty at all!! I didn't really drink that all in either, I had trouble just getting throug the first 3 months and definetley didn't enjoy it like I should have and probaby was not there mentally either...Try not to beat yourself up over it or feel guilty.  Just enjoy the moment

MyNameHere

What we do is just turn the monitor on a very, very low volume setting . .almost off so we only hear her if she's really upset not just making noise.  I love our monitor (and it was cheap) and the low level only picks up loud sounds. We also have the lights that show noise so I can see those at night without having the volume up.

HappySchmappyII

Brenna is 5 months and gaining weight like a champ, pedi said she doesn't need to eat overnight anymore.  Sunday night I decided to let her CIO over night.  She was waking up every night in the 2 AM hour without fail.  I plugged her once, DH plugged her once and then we let her cry.  It was a long hour or so but eventually she went back to sleep.  Monday night I turned the monitor off and shur her door.  Either I didn't hear her or she STTN ( I would have heard her if she had been really upset.) Same thing last night.  DH said your "tough love must have worked".  I felt guilty, but guess what? She survived and I slept better.  All that being said, I NEVER would have let Brady cry it out like that (although he slept through at 11 weeks, I was spoiled) but Brenna is #2 and it's a whole new set of rules.  So I say it's okay for you not to use the monitor, but only if you are comfortable with it.  If he's truly upset (purple face I like to call it with Brenna) mama will hear it and wake up.

mrs.magoo

Lauri - I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do...I was trying to do it all - all on my own and I really should have reached out to my friends and family, but was too stubborn too...but I think if we ever have #2, I'll certainly be better prepared of what to potentially expect with a baby - even though every baby is different and certainly take in the newborn phase better...KWIM?

lldags

Lisa - I am right there with ya!  I am all about using this as a learning experience for our next one, if we do have another one.  I was just trying to let you know others have been in your boat and that feeling guilty just makes it worse when that time has passed and it is out of your control now.  Definetley great to take it away as a learning experience for next time though!  Is that time anytime soon - baby fever I hear in your voice?  Kidding

mrs.magoo

LOL!! Oh you're a funny one I'm know it was out of my control...but sometimes I just look at him and feel bad that I wasn't "there"...you know, good 'ol mom guilt

WeThreeEs

Have you tried it yet Lisa? How did it go?

 

I am on the opposite side of this, for some reason I always slept worse when I didn't use the monitor. I heard imaginary crying all night! We all use a white noise machine and I just did not trust that I could hear him crying. I still use a monitor for both boys all night and surprisingly I actually sleep better. When I wanted to night wean Bennett I started sending Scott in for a few days. He forgot about the midnight feedings once I took back over a few days later. Maybe you guys could try that over a weekend?