Sex & Romance
TarponMonoxide
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Ahhhhh I see the 17 year old (Joyce + Paul) who's getting married DD
FFS, why did you BOTHER to ask for advice, then?
I guess it bothered you that somebody advised you to wait several years to get married, eh?
Re: Ahhhhh I see the 17 year old (Joyce + Paul) who's getting married DD
Short version: she is wondering why she did not orgasm vaginally during her first time. Feels disappointed. He is 3 states away. Wedding is in December. (of course some type of religiosity figures into this scenario)
I had a look at her posts --- 17 years old, with this guy since a sophomore in HS and he's in the military.
Fat chance that a noncom about her age is going to be able to comfortably support a wife --- and what if a kiddo comes along?
Not long after she posted, poom, the thread was gone.
Eek. If I got married at 17, I can't imagine what kind of loser I wouldve ended up with. That was only 6 years ago, yet I am SUCH a different person now. I don't think I would want to be friends with my 17 year old self, let alone be married to me.
And ya, it took me like a year having sex with H before I had an orgasm, and I still haven't had one vaginally.
People are so silly sometimes.
I didn't see the posts, but I got married at 18 to my high school sweetheart (we met when we were 16). We have been married 3 years. Sometimes I think marrying young gets a bad rap, but my parents who married at the same age and my grandparents who also got married young are all together still, also my brother and his wife just celebrated their 7th anniversary and they got married right after high school too.
Oh and that is silly about the orgasm, it takes awhile it doesn't happen like magic.. or does it : )
LMAO of course you are sweetie, they all say that.
I'm more mature
I've lived on my own since Im 16
You dont know us
we can support ourselves
you dont understand
we are so in love
we can handle anything because weve been through so much..
I wish you the best, really, but I can't urge you enough to reconsider. What's the hurry to get married? If you know you can support each other and will be together forever and live happily ever after in your glass slippers, why can't you wait until you're older to get married? Did you know that you don't fully mature until you're 25. Twenty-five. You're seventeen. You have EIGHT YEARS of change ahead of you. Buckle down and go to school. Get a degree. If it's meant to be, you'll still be together by then! Honestly... I thought I was in love, more mature than girls my age, and I was going to marry the guy I was dating at 17. If I had ... holy crap. That would have been a disaster.
What is the rush?
PS: Being 18 instead of 17 makes no difference. If you think that being 18 is sooo important and such a game changer in your defense, you aren't as mature as you think you are.
According to the Uniform Code of Military Justice, sex with anyone under the age of 18 is statutory rape, even if it is consentual. Your Service Member is currently in violation of the UCMJ. He can face a minimum of an Article 15 and a non-communication order that bans communication with you until you are 18 years old. He could face a maximum punishment of 6 months in Levenworth followed by a discharge from the service.
Thank you! I will be using this! I hate when people say "Well in my state..." This trumps all the individual state laws.
And, what are your thoughts on that?
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker
My goodness -- how does a 17 year old take care of herself and an H? Are you independently wealthy, perhaps???
Unless you are, sis -- wow, you're in dreamland. Every 17 year old I know is pretty much dern near broke.
A noncom is a non commissioned officer --- pretty sure that's what your H to be is, since he's about your age. Usually you're degreed and that is how you get a commission.
(Srsly -- you're marrying somebody military and you don't know the jargon?)
It's true that all 17 year olds think that they are so much more mature than the others. I remember being laughed at by my first college professor at 18 when I told him I wanted to marry my boyfriend. I was embarrassed, but he ended up having a point. I am in such a different place than I was then. I think differently, I'm not as naive, my work ethic changed, and my dreams have exceeded.
Just wait. You will be a new person in a just a few short years. Be young! Set goals for yourself. Find people who inspire you. When you are married, you have that other person to consider in every SINGLE aspect.
I hate when people say things like... you will change and you wont be the same person ect. Honestly we all change if you are 17, 21, 30, 50, and so on! Its knowing that you and your significant other need to change and grow together! Me and my husband dated at 15 and we got married 6 months ago (im now 21). We have changed, but we changed together and have excepted the change! Your dreams, goals, maturaty leavel ALWAYS is changing! I would have been married by the age of 18 if me and my husband could have supported ourselves, however we were not in that position, but you dont know if they are or not.
You change way more between 18 and 25 than you do between 30 and 50.
You don't know that yet because you're only 21. But someday you'll look back and laugh at yourself for making the above statement.
And i hate when 21 year olds come and say that they are married and their marriages are so wonderful...well, no shiot youve only been married a short period of time. Come back after 20 years and i'll beleive that your case was different.
Holy cow!! You ladies are ridiculous!!! Just because you weren't ready to get married at a young age doesn't mean everyone is the same. People can go through things at a very young age that make them grow up and mature a little faster than your average person. Would I have gotten married so young... no, but it's not my place to judge someone for doing so.
Our words aren't going to change their minds. So, instead of repeating ourselves to someone who isn't going to listen, how about we just wish them the best.
I disagree with you there, not that I'm very old or anything but I believe that if you have a lot more responsibility growing up then you mature faster. I don't mean that your mom makes you take the dog out or anything, but I had friends in high school like me that worked 35-40hours a week and still had to keep their grades up in school. I'm not saying I'm better than everyone else, but it did teach me a lot and I feel that I matured a lot from having to go through that. I also lost my parents at an early age, and that took away my childhood. After that I never had the same mind set as everyone else my age, I was in court rooms at 7/8 making literally life decisions on where to live, and who to live with and what school to go to. Just my thoughts
I'm not saying that you're not mature, or that you don't know how to handle a job and finances; but emotionally, I would be willing to bet that there's a bit missing, and in no way do i think that the life you described better prepared you for marriage or parenthood than my "normal" past did me.
I proved your point b/c I described a situation in which I grew up faster than my peers b/c I was working full time, still doing very well in school, and handling my own finances for the most part. I'm just not understand what emotional lessons and experiences I missed out on.
I've been told multiple times that in not going to a university and living in a dorm is depriving me of important experiences I need in order to be mature. So my question is what in that am I missing out on? Rushing for a sorority? No thank you. Going to parties, getting wasted, sleeping around, and living with other women? I don't have a desire to do any of those things. I don't think I was anymore prepared for marriage than anyone else, but I don't think any of those things would have helped either,
However I totally agree with you about parenthood. I am not prepared to be a mother. But who really is? I think when you're ready to have a baby, you just know. You reach a point in your life that are in a place to start a family.
My husband and I started dating our sophomore year in high school. We are both 21 and are happily married. We have been through more than some couples ever have to go through. My husband had severe ulcerative colitis and had to have his colon removed before we had even been married 4 months. Fortunately I was able to find a job teaching so that I am making decent money and he is able to get short term disability through his work, but otherwise we would be struggling to pay bills. Our families support us emotionally but we refuse to lean on them financially unless we are truly sinking. We chose to get married "young" but we knew the responsibilities involved in that and were prepared.
All this to say, not all people who get married young and to their highschool sweetheart are immature and incapable of making it work. We love each other and yes we will change as people, we already have but we make a choice to love each other every day and we grow together.
That being said, marriage is a big deal. You cant get married and then just say "Mommy and daddy will take care of us" when you get married, mommy and daddy are no longer responsible for you. You are grown up and have to realize that stuff happens and you have to be prepared to deal with what is dealt to you.
I don't think it is really necessary to know military jargon before getting married... haha... I've been married 7 years to a Marine and am still learning how the military works. With that said, I would really caution the OP to consider extensively what the military lifestyle is going to be like. It is a completely different way of living and unless you have experience - ex) are a military brat - you are really going to be in for a rude awakening. The military has afforded us amazing opportunity, but at the same time, it is a difficult lifestyle, too. Not everyone is cut out for it. Consider what it is going to be like not seeing your husband for 7-8-12 months because he is fighting a war. Throw that on top of being so young.... I got married when I was 20, so, I was also very young... we have an amazing marriage and partnership. Although young, I graduated from college a semester later, and my husband was already an officer - making much more money than someone who enlists (initially) - he had been in the military for about 8 years already, so already had savings - we were "set up" much better than someone in your situation. A lot of young military couples really DO end up divorced because of the added stress that comes with the lifestyle... you really need to know who you are, find something for yourself - go to school, figure out what you want to do with your life - because the military lifestyle doesn't make it easy. I've moved 6 times in 7 years; can you imagine what that has done for my "career?" I am in graduate school now hoping to move into a field that is easily transferrable.
Honestly, I would slow things down, there is no rush to get married right now, especially when you are going into a situation like what you are going to encounter with the military. Why not move to where he is and see how things go as a military girlfriend... see what it is like and if it is a lifestyle you want and a lifestyle you can handle...
You're so young... why not even give yourself a few years of college before making this decision?
Edit: Glad I typed that out - looks like she deleted her account?! ha
i think you hit the nail ont he head, right there LauraRGood! i dont think marriage or life is ever easy, at any age and regardless of circumstance. people are just people, we can agree or disagree with their choices, but at the end of the day, its their life and they only have themselves to answer to.
also, some people should take notes on effective advice giving, its all in the approach. Thanks Laura for your articulation.
THIS!! Im nineteen and just got married a month ago! I love my husband and our married life we have been together for 4 years! Lived together for a year first to make sure we could handle it. I did end up getting pregnant in that year which is not the reason we got married, we had planned on getting married before I got pregnant, But before we got married and got pregnant, my husband got a full-time job and I got a part-time we saved every penny we could!! Along with that I was going to school. Now that our son is 2 months old and after having all medical bills and all other bills payed off we have enough money that we just bought a house and I can be a stay at home mom. Is it easy, is it always fun, No. Did we work our a$$es off to get here yes! Now that Im here I would never go back but now I wish I would have slowed down, finished my degree and spent time traveling with my husband. Like PP said understand how much everything costs, because the only reason I am so blessed is because my husband got a great job by luck!
PS not living in the same state will make it worse because right now you have no sense of what its like living together and being together all the time, I have had friends do exactly what your doing, he is in the military and the only way you can see him is marry him!
If you haven't been there then why are you talking? I know how to run a house better then most 35 yr old and I am 18. Do you want to know why? Because I was a second mother to 12 kids. I also made impressive salary at the age of fifteen.
I am a powerful woman and no one who knows me denies it. I got married at the age of 17 to someone I was engaged to at 16 go ahead and argue but unless you have been there done that, your point is not valid.
Most old world cultures and bible belt area like to get the girls married off real early. Cuts down on the amount of family shame with un wed mothers and b*stard children.
Most of the time the husband is much older and already established. Wifely is a good stay at home housewife and keeps pumping out children.
Often the family household is multi-generational.With 3+ generations under one roof.
Vs. today with a pair of teens marrying and trying to make it on their own.
b.t.w. most teens in love/lust don't seem to know or care. That the Corpus Callosum isn't developed and wire din until ages 23-25.
http://www.actforyouth.net/resources/rf/rf_brain_0502.pdf