DH thinking about joining the military

MrsMcC.10409

I have some knowledge about the lifestyle as the daughter of a lifelong Army pilot, but I was wondering if I could get some perspective from wives. Most likely, he is eligible for the Army, but not Air Force.

In your family, does the spouse that is active duty love their job? What does the civilian spouse think of it? What are realistic expectation of deployment/time at home? Are the benefits worth the risks? Do you have any advice as to things to consider while we are contemplating this decision?

I hope this doesn't offend anyone. I have never lurked on this board, but would love any input you had to offer. Thank you!

JoBieger05

I'm just lurking, but my DH is a Combat Medic in the Army. He's currently out on medical leave, but he LOVES his job. And I love it too. Deployments are terrifying because he is out in the field trying to save one soldier's life while being in danger himself, but that's what he loves. I'm proud of him and his accomplishments. It was a long hard road, but I wouldn't trade it.

I couldn't imagine being strictly civilian. I am terrified about him ever getting out. I am 100% pro military life. I may be strange, but I wouldn't want it any other way. 

My cousin is a Marine. Another cousin, Air Force.  Most of my uncles are Air Force veterans. I grew up in a total military town.

Now, is getting into the military these days easy? No. It's a long wait and a long process. Or at least it was last time I checked. 

Good luck with everything!

SoftSpot

MrsMcC.10409:

In your family, does the spouse that is active duty love their job? He loves his job, but he doesn't love his command which I think can be common.

What does the civilian spouse think of it? I love most aspects of military life. Deployments obviously suck.

What are realistic expectation of deployment/time at home? Expect for him to deploy but you can't really determine where to and for how long until he's in and gets settled with his command.

Are the benefits worth the risks? There are many of both and for us it changes on a regular basis. The benefits are different now that I'm pregnant and he's re-thinking the re-enlistment he was planning on.

Do you have any advice as to things to consider while we are contemplating this decision? Go with him to the recruiter, research everything you are told, look up pay charts for enlisted and see if you can live off of it as he climbs the rank ladder.

SpunkyBlowfish

What does the civilian spouse think of it?

-H is damn good at his job and the people around respect him so I am not going to complain. I have rough/pity party days sometimes but those are few and far between.

What are realistic expectation of deployment/time at home?

-Every job is different but my H is gone 80% of the time and no he's not a pilot... and no, I'm not exaggerating. We were joking around once and did the math. It was depressing at first but you have to learn to laugh about it and time spent together is precious to me. You need to be strong enough to handle what life throws at you and know when to ask for help.

Are the benefits worth the risks?

-Ask me another day. 

Do you have any advice as to things to consider while we are contemplating this decision? 

-What is his motivation?

-Ask yourself -- If your H is away more often than he is home, are you capable of handling that? Are you going to be okay if he has to be gone at a moments notice? Are you okay with him withholding information?

I know these aren't easy questions but depending on what he wants to do in the military they are valid things to think about. 

Sibil

He doesn't love it.  He signed up for one thing, got medically transferred to another, and it's really boring and doesn't engage his brain.  He'll get excited about it in theory and then bureaucracy hits.

Deployments don't bother us.  He likes them b/c at least he's traveling the world and doing something.  I like being on my own.  Realistic expectations are completely dependent on the job.

The benefits are getting paid more than he's worth (in his opinion) and getting to live a subsidized life abroad.  It is certainly not an intellectual benefit.  It pays well for us, and we've lived in a few countries, but, honestly, we'd probably rather be less paid and be in a more stimulating environment.  This is of course entirely dependent on field.  He ended up getting transferred to a field (after the medical issue) that's not stimulating at all but is understaffed, so there's no way out despite his aptitude and interests.  Also, he's not allowed to separate due to the first career field and its time commitment, so, here we are making the best of it.  And, really it's not bad, being paid to live in Hawaii after 4 years abroad.  It's just not ideal, kwim?  And of course, the longer you stay in, the more it makes sense to stay til retirement.

MrsMcC.10409

Thank you ladies, for your responses. I appreciate it very much!