July 2009 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Discussion Question Re: Polygamy
Will polygamy ever be legal? Meaning, if 3+ consenting adults are cool with living in a multi-partner situation, should that be recognized and OK legally? Would you be ok with that? If not, what would your concerns be?'
My thought is if you can make it work and are all in agreement, suit yourself. But I'm imagining that there are laws in place against polygamy to prevent situations where spouses are taken advantage of and to prevent spouse and child abuse. But is every polygamist situation like that? Just curious.
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Re: Discussion Question Re: Polygamy
I agree with you for the most part. If the situation works for those people, who am I to say that it is not ok. However, I do believe that the laws are likely to prevent abuse situations. Also, I think if legal, then some people may take advantage for insurance purposes, etc and not actually want to be polygamists, but want to get in on someone in the relationships good health insurance or some other perk. Although.....I think that happens sometimes with "regular" marriages too.
To answer your initial question, I don't think it will ever be legal. I do think that positive media coverage (such as Sister Wives) will make it more socially acceptable though.
dupe
the wedding | the blog
I think what you are talking about is actually called polyamory. I think it should certainly be recognized as valid and the option for a legal marriage should be available. However, what I gather from my polyamorous friends is that most people living that lifestyle accept it as non-traditional and enjoy the freedom to work within their own relationship rules.
Marriage carries with it a lot of bias and expectations. When you live a lifestyle that doesn't cater to traditional values (like monogamy) the idea of marriage means something different.
Bottom line... if polyamorous people want to get married then they have my blessing. If they want to stick with their marriage alternatives though I'm cool with that too.
If you're curious, this site has some good info on poly relationships.
the wedding | the blog
We have had this discussion in our home when talking about gay marriage. My husband has made the statement that if whoever wants to get married should be able to get married, then why is polygamy not legal too. My assumption is that some of the laws are meant to prevent someone from marrying multiple people and none of the extra spouses knowing about it. That would be an abuse situation. In the situations I've seen, it isn't that all three people are marrying each other. It's one person marrying multiple people.
If you make it legal for a man to marry multiple women, and the existing wife/wives don't legally have a say, it's set up to fail miserably. If they were all signing on and marrying each other as a group, then maybe. But imagine the mess a divorce would be if there were four people in the group and two decided they couldn't stand one, but the one didn't want to go. It would be a group fight on who stays and who goes. Could two divorce two, but remain married to each other? It would just be a big mess.
A tax nightmare, too.
That being said. If it works for you and no one is getting hurt, then who am I to say not to do it?
Another great thought. I figured that this wasn't a discrimination thing, that there were actual reasons for not allowing polygamy, and you all have helped me understand it a bit better.