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situation question
so there is a nanny who has been with the family since the baby was 3.5 weeks old (she will be 1 year in early October).
this is the first baby for both parents.
neither has had experience with kids up until now.
home is not really baby-proofed.
outlet covers are on (put on by mother)
coffee table has table guards on (put on by nanny)
no cabinet guards
no gates
nanny asked mom if she should put guards on the trunks in the living room as well.. mom said no. so no guards are on the trunks.
baby is learning to walk.
she is using the furniture to help her move along.
she was using one of the trunks.
before nanny could grab her she fell.
baby got a scrape on her chest. did not hit her head.
nanny washed scrape and but neosporin on it.
who is to blame (if anyone)?
nanny? mom? both? none?
feedback please.
Re: situation question
Are you or your friend the nanny?
No one is to blame. Accidents happen.
Im the nanny.
before her I was with another family from the time the boy was 2 months old until he was 5 years old. I stopped working for them when they moved to tenn.
I just feel really insecure because this morning when I went to work to watch her the mom told me that while she understands that accidents happen that she feels like I wasnt really watching her. pretty much blaming me.
with kids, espically when they are learning to walk like she is, they fall!
I'm sorry she made you feel bad, she is being ridiculous.
Babies are going to fall, especially when they are learning to walk. She is never going to start walking if you are so on top of her that you don't give her the chance to move around on her own.
I don't know how happy you are with the job in general, but I would at least keep your eyes & ears open for other positions. Both of my kids fell so much between 1- 2 years old, if she is going to blame you for every fall it's going to be a mess.
Wow. Does she expect you to hold the kid all day so that she never falls?
I feel like I'm reading an e.e. cummings poem.
I don't think you're at fault. I would just say something like, "Sorry ... I was watching her, but you know how kids are when they're learning to walk. I will stay closer to her in the future." She's overreacting a bit, it seems.
Why? How could she possible know that you weren't "really watching"? What does that even mean?
How did you respond? Frankly, I would stop with all of the finger pointing and blaming and insist to take measures to properly babyproof the house. You are the nanny and you need to stop taking the "blame" for this and use it as an opportunity to say that you both want there to be as little chance as possible for the child to get hurt and considering how diligently you were watching, that the environment has to change to ensure that.
Defensive people often go on the offesive, especially defensive mothers. Refusing to babyproof the trunk that got the child hurt, is prime reason to look to someone else to blame. Do yourself a favor and start sticking up for yourself rather than crumble under the accusation. And insist on getting the house babyproofed.
My nephew fell so often my sister was convinced that she was going to be reported for abuse b/c she took her son to the ER so many times!
Hopefully, the child will have a tumble while mommy is watching, and she will learn that kids fall. That's what they do!
In the meantime, maybe something along the lines of "I keep a close eye on (child's name), but s/he's learning to walk and s/he's going to fall."
lol.
I have a 6 yr old niece. (no children myself) and she was running the other day and tripped and fell. She managed to give herself a concussion and a huge welt on her forehead. My niece was at daycare playing on their playground when this happened. My sister was called picked DD up and she had no hard feelings with the daycare. KIDS HURT THEMSELVES, and they can do this a lot when learning. Even older children.
Keep in mind, not everyone chooses to baby proof their home and/or does it based on need. We don't have outlet covers anywhere. We bought them, and then DS never paid the outlets any real attention, and the few times he did, we told him no, and he lost interest.
The mom shouldn't blame you though. As pps have stated, kids fall. It's a fact.
thank you all so much for your insight.
I think I will have a talk with her when Im there next week and try to explain this to her.
I actually feel much better now.
An American Girl's Travels
I wouldn't intend to "explain" things to her as much as I would intend to say that you want to get on the same page. To me, explaining makes it seem like you have something to explain, like an excuse or something. You don't. What you want is to make sure that you both know that you watch very carefully and you have her support when these things happen, not accusations.
I have a 13 month old who is learning to walk as well, and she falls all the time. I think she's going to have a perma-bruise on her forehead, from hitting it. We have done minimal babyproofing- outlet covers, gate to keep her out of the kitchen (no cabinet locks). I am of the school of thought that she has to learn where the furniture is and she can't touch everything she finds. I keep a close eye on her, but things happen despite my best efforts.
She's fallen at daycare too- no hard feelings, these things happen. She's learning and exploring and trying new things and sometimes she's going to think she can do more than her little body can. But it's how she learns.
PP's have given some good advice on how to handle mom.