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I sent an email to my friend

Backstory. One of my BFF here is also an IN. STBX and her H are very good friends. 

I emailed her asking why she ignored me for a month an half. I said it was bothering me and I was worried. 

There were other concerns too. She only plans to see me when her H has other plans without her. Which is the case this weekend. Her H is going to a big party out of state and she asked me to come visit her. I can't because I have to work on Sunday morning but told her she was welcomed in my house. She isn't coming because she doesn't want her H's friend B to come to her new house while she is gone (when they were renting, B burnt the carpet with his cigarette and never apologized so now this guy is forever banned from her house).


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Re: I sent an email to my friend

  • This girl sounds rude and dumb.  Doesn't she have locks on her doors to keep people out?  I hope you make some new friends because she doesn't sound very nice or supportive.  You deserve better Land.  ((hugs))
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  • Well her husband has the keys and it is his house too.

    She answered my email like 10 mins ago. I don't know what to think.  She says I am thinking way too much. She didn't answer my calls because I called after dinner time and she doesn't answer her phone at night. She doesn't want to be stressed out before going to bed. Ugh?!

    She also says the reason why she didn't answer my emails was because I usually answer her a couple days after?! I can understand not getting a prompt email if I say "I bought 2 pairs of shoes today!". But if I send an email  saying "I haven't heard from you in a while is everyhting Ok?" it's clear you're worried and waiting for a quick answer no?

    The reason why she won't come to my house this weekend is because she is 13 weeks pregnant and feel better at her home. And she has to work but she is having a friend and her baby all weekend.

    She was nice and sounded genuine but there is still something out of tune in this email.  

     

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  • I really hope she starts feeling better and acting normal soon. But some of those reasons are sounding a bit off. Won't reply to you because you took a couple days before to reply to her? Continue to keep notes and see if she continues to be a good friend or needs reevaluation.

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  • Is it possible that she does not really want to associate with you anymore because you are no longer with XH and that is her husband's good friend? Like maybe her H said something to her about being uncomfortable hanging out with you now or whatever? Because the way you're describing her behavior, she either no longer wants to be friends or she's a little nuts. Being pg and not feeling well is one thing (and I completely understand that reason) but she can't leave her house because her H's friend might come leave burn marks on her carpet? WTF?
  • imageMrsBini10:
    Is it possible that she does not really want to associate with you anymore because you are no longer with XH and that is her husband's good friend? Like maybe her H said something to her about being uncomfortable hanging out with you now or whatever? Because the way you're describing her behavior, she either no longer wants to be friends or she's a little nuts. Being pg and not feeling well is one thing (and I completely understand that reason) but she can't leave her house because her H's friend might come leave burn marks on her carpet? WTF?

    I agree, it sounds like she's trying to phase you out because she's not comfortable enough to tell you that she doesn't/can't be friends because of your divorce.  I'm sorry Land ((hugs)) 

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  • This is what she wrote in her mail regarding the divorce issue:

    Be positive! Maybe you and [STBXH] didn't work out but you and I are still same (at least I hope so)!"

    This was the last sentence of her email. I raised my eyebrows at this. I am going with the fact that English is her second language but it sounds condescending to me.  She told me several times before that the divorce would not change anything with her and her husband but I'll see.

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