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Insulting or Ignorant? - Now with Update from MIL!!
So....yesterday was my Birthday (Happy Birthday Me!!) and DH did an awesome job of entertaining me for the day.
There was only one little niggle... I got a card from DH's parents, which his Mother had addressed to Mrs K T********.
I have made it quite clear to her that I didn't change my name and when I told her, she made a point of telling me how strange she thought girls who didn't change their name were. So surely she hasn't forgotten?
I Know I shouldn't be offended, but this isn't the first time she has done it, and it's my NAME. I didn't change it because it means a lot to me. I remember the younger sister addressed her wedding invitation incorrectly, and DH corrected her so the placecard was in the correct name. Surely there would have been a conversation about this with the Mother?
So is she trying to make a point, or is she just plain stupid? I just can't tell.
And yes, I have more than likely complained about this before.
Update - MIL rang and asked DH if I had got my card, and what I thought about the name on the front. DH said I was offended and MIL said she 'got confused and didn't know what to write'.
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Re: Insulting or Ignorant? - Now with Update from MIL!!
Happy Belated Birthday!
I honestly think your MIL is just in some serious denial that you didn't change your name and of course there would be some shred of hope that you'd change it, especially since she voiced that she finds it weird to keep your maiden name. It probably makes her feel good to address the envelope as Mr. and Mrs. Last Name or Mrs. His Name.
I might mention something to her one more time, but if she continues, I'd just let it go. It's a minute thing and spending time feeling insulted is wasted time. Hopefully she will get the message this next time though!
Do the creep.
Yes, this was my thought exactly. My MIL and my grandma started addressing mail the Mr and Mrs S almost as soon as we got engaged. I *did* change my last name, but they really liked addressing me as Mrs. S so they started early.
1. Happy Belated! Hope you had fun celebrating with DH!
2. I think she's in denial, and the fact that she asked her son "what you thought of your name" means she's either hoping you change your mind, get used to having her call you by their last name even though it's not your big wish in life.
3. Her defense of "oh I got confused" is fscking lame. How about she call her son to ask what to put on there? Uh, duh. She wants to look like the bigger person when in fact she's digging her hole even deeper with these shenanigans.
WOW, first of all, happy belated
She is obviously being ignorant! She did not know what to write? How about just Kate X**** (whatever your last name really is). What is she, dumb? If I have not changed my name, the only other name you can use is the same name I always had. I agree with PP that it's a waste of time to be insulted, but I would make it loud and clear to her: my name is Kate X and I would appreciate if you could address me by that name. ugh
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Insulting AND Ignorant. Double whammy MIL, waaaay to go...
I would say something, because I am just that way. Why should you be called something other than what you are just because she's uncomfortable with your choice? You've had this trouble with your in-laws before. No no no. They are not "confused." They are "rude." So there!
Also Happy Belated...!