Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Baby Shower Question
I've only been to a couple baby showers in my life since Jews usually don't have one (it's an old superstition). Now that a few of my friends are pregnant I've been getting invites to some. I went to one last weekend for a VERY close friend of DH's (she's like his sister) and I felt bad because I think I gave a much cheaper gift than other people.
Granted, this is mostly because I planned all along to give a small gift at the shower and then send a bigger gift when the baby's born. Again, this goes back to how I was raised, where you don't give a gift before the baby's born. I frankly just feel like it looked bad that I gave like a $60 gift when other people spent hundreds, considering what close friends we are with her and her DH - although I know that they are not the types to care what people spend at all. I'm thinking that moving forward for other couples I'll just get one big gift for a shower and maybe buy some outfits to give the new parents when the baby comes.
Which leads me to my question - what do people usually spend on baby shower gifts? Yes, I know it's based on what you can afford, how close you are to the couple, etc. But it looked like several friends spent $150+ on the shower gifts - is that normal? I think I've been a little cheap with people through the years and didn't know it, since I was never at showers to see what others are spending!!
Re: Baby Shower Question
I think it really depends on the location (NNJ is very different then other parts of the country) I usually spend closer to $100 for someone as close as you seem to be. I like to go in with other people on gifts. For my best friends we spent a little more then that and bought them a lazy boy recliner it was 5 of us total (the recliner was in place of a glider that could be used for years and years (and in the living room). Also keep in mind what looks like a bigger gift isn't necessarily the case not all baby gear is super expensive its just bulky. I usually give a very small gift when I visit the baby for the first time. Usually I bring books to that since so many people do clothes.
I think essentially people get the big gifts at the shower because other cultures and Type A moms like to set up the nursery firs and then do a smaller one at the first meeting.
Also I think "hundreds" is highly unusual!
DH & I at the Light Festival
Yeah, for example one friend gave her the car seat, another one the bedding set with some accessories, two girls chipped together and did the clothesline with TONS of outfits plus a bunch of other stuff. She also got a nice stroller, but I think that was from her aunt and adult cousin so it makes more sense. I've started to do some research on baby gear and this stuff ain't cheap, although I guess they could have used coupons and stuff.
You're all making me feel better though, since I usually do spend around $100 for close friends in total, or even a little over that if I think the couple could use the help.
Bear in mind these are the same people who gave us in the $400 range as wedding gifts, so I run with a generous crew.
ummm I would have said $50. I guess I'm cheap!!
p.s. No baby showers for Jewish people?? WTH! I am Jewish as in my mom and dad both are but I haven't set foot in a synagogue in 20 years and I cook good traditional food at holidays but don't really observe -- and I am wondering if I can have a baby shower if I ever decide to procreate. Crap!
Rach, that's going to be an issue for me since I want one. In my circle of friends its usually moms/sisters that throw the baby shower, and my mom already said that she will not support me having one before the baby comes. I think a couple of friends are going to do something small and informal for me though.
My mom is old school though, and this is one tradition that seems to be changing.
My family is superstitious about that as well (crazy sicilians think everything is bad luck) but I want one when the time comes! I want some loot dammittt LOL
Lori, I also spend $50-85 approx on a baby shower gift. Because like you said, I will always get another small gift when the baby comes too (and for every occasion after depending on if it's family) so I don't think you did anything inappropriate.
Here's a question...I have a baby shower to attend in a few weeks for TWINS! How much do I spend then? I have to double the gift???? What do you guys think? (Sorry to hijack your post, I just figured I'd ask while we are on the topic)
I like that idea!!
For good friends I'd usually spend anywhere from $40 to $60 but that's also got to do with the fact that the majority of my closest friends as well as a lot of my sorority sisters were getting married and having children right around the same time so anything more than that woud've broken me. If it's someone I don't see or talk to or hear from that often, I usually don't go any higher than $30. Call me cheap, but I just think it's ridiculous to fork out hundreds of dollars on a gift for a non-family member who isn't your BFF. Not to sound crass, but I think it's some people's way of trying to show everyone else up.
My exception to the rule would be a gift of $100 - $120 that I go in on with 2 or 3 other people. I'm totally down with that. When my co worker had her son 3 years ago I went in on a gift with 6 or 7 other co workers who were also invited to her shower; we all kicked in about $40 and got her a couple of her big ticket items.
yeah totally $50 for a friend who i'm not super close with and prob up to $150 for a close friend (we actually just order a pack and play for two of our really good friends).
9 Glorious Months!
My Photography Blog!
Oh my! I must be really cheap then because for baby or bridal showers, we usually spend around $50... Wedding gifts we spend more ($75-$100).
I would not expect my friends to give me anything more than they could afford...