Is it normal situation in American?

gracesajon

My husband's son(30) has 4 babies.

The son's couple has relied on his father long time. Whenever having money problem, they ask money to my husband. We are living in an apt and we do not have money. They never return money back to my husband. When my husband reject it, they ask other relatives.I saw my husband's daughter in law asked $20 for buying Chocolate. I thought every American live independent life when they are adults. Isn't it?

 

 

CurlyQ284

Yes for the most part, but the adults I've seen who rely on their parents this long have usually been coddled and enabled by their parents this whole time. There is no incentive to be independent when they can get free money from daddy or whoever.

srgw

Not in my family, but some parents raise children that never finish growing up and then compound the problem by enabling said children.

meowcat84

in these times its hard. i admit it ive borrowed money from my parents. and im a grown adult. but i tend to pay it back. my brother on the other hand thinks these handouts are allowances for him. and hes 25.

TarponMonoxide

Once you've gotten a full time job, you are considered self sufficient; no more handouts from your parents.

If you've got a full time job and you're living with parents, you pay your own way. And pay room and board to your parents until you've gotten your own digs and move out.

If you've got college age kids, you're still on the books to provide for your kids. If your college kids have part time jobs, it's nice if they provide room and board to parents.

If they have full time jobs and are asking you and he for money, tell them no. And do it politely and firmly. They should get the message.

livinitup

gracesajon:

I thought every American live independent life when they are adults.

Every? I suppose there is no "everbody" in a great big culture of millions of people.

And yes, it is pathetic that a 30 year old with 4 children mooches off of his father.

 

Ilumine

Yes, every American is independent...just like every German is orderly, thorough and blond, every Frenchman is rude, they don't wear deodorant and do t shave their underarms, The Japanese are short, watch sex anime, And over polite, Or that people from the sub continent all drive cabs, wear rags on their heads and never marry for love...

zitiqueen

Ilumine:

Yes, every American is independent...just like every German is orderly, thorough and blond, every Frenchman is rude, they don't wear deodorant and do t shave their underarms, The Japanese are short, watch sex anime, And over polite, Or that people from the sub continent all drive cabs, wear rags on their heads and never marry for love...

You forgot all Russians are drunks and all Russian women are prostitute mail order brides.

hellokittie

The grammar in the post is a lot like the one above it, I think you are the same person. I strongly recommend that if us American's are bothering you so bad, please feel free to leave. Do people fall on hard times and ask family for help in America, sure. She asked for money for chocolate and he gave it to her, no deception there, she was honest and he said yes. If the two of you are financially struggling this is an issue to discuss with your husband. Rather or not they ask other relatives is not your business.

You really need to worry about your own life and get out of theirs. Rather you like it or not,  that is his son and his son wife, just because you do not like her does not mean that every move she makes is wrong.  I am starting to feel really bad for your daughter in law and your husbands son, seems like you have a lot of problems with how they do things and you try to hold them to what you think an American should be. Grow up. 

Princess_Lily

zitiqueen:

Ilumine:

Yes, every American is independent...just like every German is orderly, thorough and blond, every Frenchman is rude, they don't wear deodorant and do t shave their underarms, The Japanese are short, watch sex anime, And over polite, Or that people from the sub continent all drive cabs, wear rags on their heads and never marry for love...

You forgot all Russians are drunks and all Russian women are prostitute mail order brides.

...and all tri-state Italians are in the mob...

IrishBrideND

No, but it is normal for every American to steal blankets and oxiclean from their inlaws. Thats just something we do.