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Question
Is it appropriate to find out a close friend's news on Facebook only? Or, for that matter, never find out?
I went to a baby shower for a friend this weekend and she proceeded to tell us, when asked, that her husband was going to post the news on Facebook when the baby is born. FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been friends with her (as the other girls in our circle) for 20years! We were all mortified. No call? Text? FACEBOOK? Maybe I am overreacting but that, to me, is absurd. Her DH's best friend doesn't even have FB...does that mean he will never know? My DH hates the phone and he called people.
Also, in that same vein, my hubby's very close friend was in the hospital and he only found out b/c DH called him randomly about something else and he said "oh, i am in the hospital" otherwise we never would have known, other than reading it on his partner's facebook page. And, apparently all her friends knew b/c they were posting comments. WTF?
Both of these rub me the wrong way.
Re: Question
Meh.. I can't predict the future but I H A T E no LOATHE the phone soooo if you are my immediate fam... uhm and that is only my parents will probably already be around and they can call my brothers, I'll be busy.. CLOSE friends and that is only a handful will get a text everyone else can find out through the grapevine or FB or whateves. At least with text and FB you get a pic to go along with it! It's up to B what he wants to do with his side.... cause he has a much larger family as long as it doesn't interfere with me I don't care what he does. but I'm not gonna wait hours for my chard cause you are on the phone. Just kidding.
At least she isn't deeming some of you good enough for a text and some of you good enough for FB. Girl's being honest. Tis the world we live in today unfortunately or fortunately however you choose to view it.
I have a friend who this past weekend only found out a friend had a baby because I saw it on FB. We all went to the same college but they went way back from HS and still talk/text/e-mail and live not that far from each other. and in the last 40 weeks couldn't tell her? Whoopz Then she got a FB invite to the bris. Soooo I'm not good enough to get ANY message that you are having a baby but now you want something. That is EFF you to me.
Honestly, I think it's expecting too much for them to make a personal phone call to all close friends and family when the baby is born. They're going to be exhausted and want to focus on the baby and each other, not on making 20 phone calls. Of course they should call parents and siblings, but for us, that would be about all we would do in terms of personal calls. I don't think texting is any more personal than Facebook, so I don't think it's a big deal except that I would probably make sure to send a text if I knew a friend doesn't have a FB account.
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FB has become such a huge part of most people lives, I think its the fastest and quickest way to update everyone at once versus having to make phone calls or texts. Even texts you can send mass messages but to a limited number.
I would be more offended if it was family. The call or text is nice but maybe she is worried her DH will be overwhelmed with everything else going on. Or maybe did she really mean her closest friends wouldn't get a text, maybe she just put the FB statement out there as a disclosure so not everyone would be expecting to receive a text/ call
i agree. it was so easy for me to pop up a status from my phone because we have family on there from all over. it was easier for us to let them know AJ was here. Our parents called close family immediate family and friends.
Hello. I've waited here for you. Everlong<3<br>
I think one of the hardest parts is other people posting on FB after you call them with the news. You really can't control the congratulatory posts. I've found out about some babies being born by other people commenting, not the parents.
DH and I still need to figure this out. We're going to call our parents, siblings and some aunts/uncles. I'd love to be able to call all friends personally, but I guess that depends on the time and circumstances of the birth. TBH, I think I'd rather concentrate on being with the baby than on the phone for hours. I'm sure a mass text will be going out at some point.
We knew with C so my parents, sister and Jack were waiting downstairs to be told to come up. I texted a few people, and then posted on FB because they expected it that way. My mom called my one uncle who is shut off to the world basically. She called a few others I think too.
With Jack same thing I texted a bunch, then posted to FB. We had both sets of family, siblings and a few of our friends waiting also, because after being induced I let them know about csection and what time to come see me.
As PP said, FB has become such a part of life that I think its expected, and if I know someone is pg and due soon I'll look at their page more often.
Thanks everyone for your opinions. I appreciate them. I guess I am just old and old school.
To answer the one question/comment, I would be on her short list as she was on mine. We consider each other best friends and were in each others weddings. I would not expect her to be making the calls and would be ok if i was somewhere down a call list (like if he called one of our friends that lives closer to her and she called all of us).
And yes, I know they will be exhausted and want to be with the baby...it was not that long ago that I too went through it. I guess I just felt differently when I had DD. My DH who despises the phone called those on the short list. My mom called family. I called noone (but spoke to people if they wanted to say hi). Everyone else found out on FB form others putting up "congrats" posts. To be honest, I didn't touch my laptop or go on the internet the whole time I was in the hospital. I did text my friends hours after her birth when they were sending "congrats" texts after DH's phone calls. Those not on my short list did not get a call or text.
And, I wouldn't expect 20 phone calls. What I would expect that they would choose a core group to call and those friends would call the others. I would be fine being an "other". They each only have one sibling and each of those live nowhere near here and their parents...that is it. No cousins, etc. that they are close too or call because I can tell you from planning her bridal shower and going to her baby shower, there was NO FAMILY other than the moms.
I guess to each his own
THIS EXACTLY! I would think it insane of all people I know to expect a phone call. My hubby and I will be too tired when that day comes and as far as I'm concerned the main people who would hear will and they can pass the message along unless he or I am willing to update our status'.
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If I were you and I was as close as you say, Id expect a text or phone call. Im not on facebook so I would never find out if I was you. But with other friends I have heard through the grape vine or gotten a direct text (even if a day or 2 late)
After I had A they took him to the nursery and I sat in the hosp bed till my epi wore off. I really couldnt go anywhere lol. So I asked DH for my phone and sent out some pics and texts. I called my mom and she spread the word to my fam and like wise for my inlaws.
If you are close I would expect something, JMO!
While I understand where you are coming from, this holds true for me, too.
When G was born we called family. Close friends got a text message and a few other people got e-mails (based on how those individuals mainly communicated at the time and knowing several of our friends are not on FB and we wanted them to hear the news from us "personally"). Later that day, we posted on FB. There was just no way to make 100 phone calls, nor was that the way we chose to spend the first few hours of our son's life. That day was for bonding, spending with family, trying to figure out to breastfeed, manage my surgical pain, etc, etc, etc...
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For the record, I never said they should call everyone or everyone they know.
You asked if it was appropriate.... there is no answer for that. It's different strokes for different folks. I'm sorry what your friend plans on doing offends you but they obviously have a reason behind wanting to do it like that and that's their perogative. It's their news to share and how they choose to share it. C'est la vie.
At this point my MIL may find out via FB and she's not even on FB and I'm not even pregnant!
I'm not trying to be bitchy, I know what I asked and I even thanked everyone for their opinions in a previous post. My last post was just to be clear that I didn't expect them to make 20 phone calls as it appeared that is what some people thought.
One of my friends didn't know I was pregnant until I had announced it on facebook. I tried to get together with her, tried to start text conversations etc but she always seemed to busy so I gave up.
When I had Mj I text my close friends and called family. I was in labor 36 hrs so people were lucky that I was awake enough to do anything. The next day I posted it on facebook after making sure my family knew first. I was going to wait a little longer but one of my friends congratulated me on FB and we know some of the same people.