getting Q to sleep.

TotZiens

Because I get all my parenting advice from Facebook, help me out.  It takes about an hour to get him to sleep every night.  I have no idea what to do.  Every night, we do bath, book, bed then it all falls apart.  I kiss him good night and tuck him in and then leave.  He starts crying immediately.  He needs to pee in the potty, he needs a kiss, he isn't tucked in right, he needs this toy not that one, he wants a book in bed with him.  FOR AN HOUR this goes on until I've gone in his room at least three times.  We've tried reasoning with him (haha), we've tried doing everything he might ask for before getting in bed but he still wants it again, we've tried the cry it out method (but he just starts beating his head on the ground and I am not comfortable letting that go on for hours).  I know it is a power trip thing on his part but I don't know how to handle this.

 

Any advice?

MrsBini10

Have you seen Supernanny? She deals with this problem like every episode. He wants more interaction/conversation and attention and when he gets it he is being rewarded and thus encouraged to do it more, basically. But she explains it better

TotZiens

I totally know why he is doing it.  How do I stop it?

MrsBini10

TotZiens:

I totally know why he is doing it.  How do I stop it?

That I don't remember. Time to TiVo Supernanny. She has a technique.

TotZiens

If I remember correctly, it is like cry it out which didn't work for us because he beats his head on the ground.  I have to go in there when he does that then he gets his attention and he wins.

Arrgh so frustrating. 

azure_azure

I'm going through the same thing. It's such a battle. Lats night it took 2 hours! Usually it's about an hour, but I think M is acting up because H is away.

Anyways, I really hope someone has some awesome technique to handle this!

I don't get supernanny here, someone please tell me about her ways.

jldittber

The way SNanny did it was mommy sat on the floor next to him, no attention, no talking.  She was just there to give him comfort.  Mommy totally ignored the crying.

I totally forget what the method was called, if you google snanny and sleep methods it comes up and there are some video clips I found. 

GOOD LUCK

azure_azure

Thanks!

ebartzen

I love supernanny. In another episode, the father would just pick up the child, place her back into the bed, and leave the room. No talking, no negotiating. It might take an hour of this until he stops, but you just keep repeating the process with the idea that it will get better each night since they realize they don't get to order you around. Like MrsBini said, they don't get rewarded for their bad behavior.

welshgirl

ebartzen:

I love supernanny. In another episode, the father would just pick up the child, place her back into the bed, and leave the room. No talking, no negotiating. It might take an hour of this until he stops, but you just keep repeating the process with the idea that it will get better each night since they realize they don't get to order you around. Like MrsBini said, they don't get rewarded for their bad behavior.

Yeah, it's not CIO per se, it's more about not talking, and just putting him back, as it on the naughty step, until he stays. Obviously there might be tears, and if he's in bed, you leave him. If he gets really upset, you could try the slow removal that PP mentioned too - it might keep him calmer? (You stil don't talk to him, nad ignore him, and put him in bed repeatedly, but you're there, so maybe he wouldn't get as worked up?)

Good luck - we've been through this too. Every so often W just rebels. I think sometimes it's to do with how tired he is, then it becomes a pattern. His dad is better with it than I am, so maybe that would help to, changing parents?

Bananas0827

This helps me too. D fights sleep, so I usually give up and put him in bed with me. I lay there until he passes out (usually about an hour of rolling around and restarting his lullaby frog thing), and then move him to his bed. It's exhausting. May try this method after he feels better.

frlcb

welshgirl:

ebartzen:

I love supernanny. In another episode, the father would just pick up the child, place her back into the bed, and leave the room. No talking, no negotiating. It might take an hour of this until he stops, but you just keep repeating the process with the idea that it will get better each night since they realize they don't get to order you around. Like MrsBini said, they don't get rewarded for their bad behavior.

Yeah, it's not CIO per se, it's more about not talking, and just putting him back, as it on the naughty step, until he stays. Obviously there might be tears, and if he's in bed, you leave him. If he gets really upset, you could try the slow removal that PP mentioned too - it might keep him calmer? (You stil don't talk to him, nad ignore him, and put him in bed repeatedly, but you're there, so maybe he wouldn't get as worked up?)

Good luck - we've been through this too. Every so often W just rebels. I think sometimes it's to do with how tired he is, then it becomes a pattern. His dad is better with it than I am, so maybe that would help to, changing parents?

I agree with all of this. Is he overtired? What time does he go to bed? Maybe try to put him to bed earlier.  

hamilton.ja

What helped with us was to put a gate on Bruce's room (which we told him was to keep him safe, he seemed to accept that pretty well) and to tell him we would come back to check on him - which we did. Usually we wouldn't even go downstairs, we'd just do something short upstairs (like change into pajamas or go to the bathroom, put away clothes, whatever) and then go back in to give him a hug and kiss and make sure he was ok. Sometimes we had to check on him twice but it usually only took about 10 minutes extra compared to the hour or more we could fight with him otherwise.

We also have a music playing soft lullabys and he comandeered Evie's sleep turtle thing that makes stars on the ceiling when she got it last Christmas. Whatever works! 

FayeD

I see BabyD inching towards this type of issue. He's still a really good sleeper. We kiss him goodnight, say bye-bye, and walk out. He's starting to whimper but stops as soon as we shut the door and he's asleep pretty darn quick. Wouldn't be surprised if we have to deal with this full-blown when the new LO comes and/or when we move. ::paying attention and tucking this into the mental file::

azure_azure

FayeD:

I see BabyD inching towards this type of issue. He's still a really good sleeper. We kiss him goodnight, say bye-bye, and walk out. He's starting to whimper but stops as soon as we shut the door and he's asleep pretty darn quick. Wouldn't be surprised if we have to deal with this full-blown when the new LO comes and/or when we move. ::paying attention and tucking this into the mental file::

I'm so jealous! My kid has never done this.