Poll: Being totally upfront (kinda long)

WhereInTheWorld

Okay, so let's say, outside of the perfect worlds we all live in... >.> ...we have moments where we just grin and bear it and put up with the crap life deals us and soldier on.  Hypothetically.

There's crap in the morning, crap in the evening, crap on your days off because the crap just overflows.  It's an unstoppable crap force.

And let's say that, one day, we decide to quit dealing with the crap and face it head-on, tell it it's crap, and say 'I don't want crap anymore, what else ya got?'

Would you do it? Would you be totally upfront, authentic, and say 'Look, this crap makes me unhappy and it doesn't work for me anymore.  I need something more for myself than crap.'?

Just curious, because I'm going to meet my big boss for coffee on Wednesday and tell him exactly how I feel, why I'm unhappy (hours, time, quality of life, etc.), and see what we can do about this, if anything.  I have no intention of quitting and would love to find a resolution.  It's just gotten to the point where I'm beginning to value my time wayyyyy more and, the fact that something as simple (as in, not complex) as a paycheck is taking away from time spent in my relationship and with my family (all holidays working, really?) is just making me plain miserable.

So, would you do it? If not, what would stop you? I'm not asking for advice, just genuinely curious that, if it were you, what would you do? Not just work, but anything.  Please share

Avion22

I love to complain.  Seriously, I make a sport out of it.    And it genuinely makes me feel better.   

But with your Big Boss?   I wouldn't do it.    I mean, I think it's okay to voice some frustrations as long as you have suggestions for how to improve things (providing you want to stay with your job, which it sounds like you do).  There is a professional way to go about making changes in your workplace, and in my experience most bosses (not all, but most) like to know about issues that are making their employees "miserable."

Also, I think that if you are "miserable" then you have a personal responsibility, to yourself, to try to fix things, whether it means talking to your boss, quitting your job, or whatever.   I generally do not like to put up with crap for the sake of putting up with crap:-) 

MouseInLux

In my opinion life is to short to live with things bugging you. I took the job that I had because it didn't call for much overtime and I wouldn't have to work holidays.  The job did eventually get to a point where it interfered with my family life and I've since quit. When I had major issues with my job I talked to my boss.

ILikePineapples

I would totally do it.  I left a fiance due to crap.  I left a job due to crap.  And I found the life I want to live.  Life is way to short to put up with crap for too long.

dpdw

I'm in this exact position right now at work, except that I've voiced my concerns (about workload to my direct boss, and about pay to my direct boss & her boss) & nothing has been done to change things -- actually the pay issue has gotten worse which is making me more miserable.  I've decided to continue to tell my manager when I am not happy with the crap.  Plus I'm documenting EVERYTHING, if nothing else but to remind myself of all the crap that I'm going to complain about to HR during my eventual exit interview (or maybe they don't do those here - which wouldn't surpsise me in the slightest). 

Did you already talk to your immediate boss about your concerns?  . 

rpic81

I tend to not put up with crap, but how I deal with it depends on the circumstances. With work? You can't just unload crap. You need to come up with suggestions on how to resolve the issue as well. You need to be able to say, "I'm not happy with X. If we implement Y, it would greatly help." And then see how they react.

Mrs DRJ

Yes, I would say something but I would do so with a constructed game plan and only pick the issues that are my top concern, not every little item.  I would be professional and not complain, but voice a desire to come to a new resolution.

At the end of the day, my happiness matters. 

Brit's Luna154

I would talk to him, but I would do it very carefully. I would pick one or two issues that are most important to me, go to him with reasonable solutions, and ask to implement those solutions on a trial basis for a specified period of time. It will be difficult for him to say no to trying out something reasonable on a limited basis. If the solution is working well for you and not impacting your output from his perspective, it will probably stick.

Throughout the discussion I would frame everything in a positive light. Instead of: "My work life balance sucks." I would say: "The chance for me to work remotely two days per week would save me four hours of commuting time per week and allow me to spend a lot more quality time with my family, I would like to try doing this for the rest of the quarter."

I would not go in there with a laundry list of complaints, I would definitely not go in without potential solutions, I would not be negative, and I would at least act like I totally understood if he couldn't work with me on every point.