need some advice:(

brownsugarbabe

my husband and I work different shifts, I work the am shift and he works the mid-shift. I have weekends and all holidays off and he works weekends and holidays(if a holiday falls on his day off then he gets the day off). its so hard for us to spend time alone and time as a family. I am looking for ideas on spending alone and family time. one thing that we have been doing is dh meets me for lunch sometimes at work since he works only about 5 miles from my job and I get an hour lunch. the days that he is off I am working so we only get a partial day together and vise versa. any suggestions on getting family time and alone time without feeling like I am racing against the clock?

thanks for the advice

cutekate

I feel your pain H and I are in the same boat -except we dont have kids yet. What about planning a weekend away or just a monday and tuesday? Right now we have off on sat/sun together but with such big families we barely get any "us" time on the weekends. We try to go out to eat once a week at minimum once every other week to reconnect. We chat a lot when were at work and text- but there are definitely times when we go 3-4 days without really seeing each other- he comes home and I am asleep and I leave for work while hes sleeping.

We just try to make each other a priority. Do you have a babysitter that you could call on so you can catch a movie during the week?

 

HTH I think I am rambling

brownsugarbabe

cutekate:

I feel your pain H and I are in the same boat -except we dont have kids yet. What about planning a weekend away or just a monday and tuesday? Right now we have off on sat/sun together but with such big families we barely get any "us" time on the weekends. We try to go out to eat once a week at minimum once every other week to reconnect. We chat a lot when were at work and text- but there are definitely times when we go 3-4 days without really seeing each other- he comes home and I am asleep and I leave for work while hes sleeping.

We just try to make each other a priority. Do you have a babysitter that you could call on so you can catch a movie during the week?

 

HTH I think I am rambling

these are all good suggestions. I think that it would be difficult for us to do things outside of the house during the week b/c our oldest is in school so we are doing homework with him during the week afterschool and getting ready for the next day, plus I have to go to bed at a resonable time as I have to get up in the morning for work. my parents would watch the kids if we want to go out. one of his days off are fridays so I am guessing maybe when can do a date night on a friday night or a family day when I get home from work on fridays. This is hard b/c I hate going several days without seeing home or spending time as a family

summerbride11

I feel ya'.  DH and I work different shifts as well (for child care purposes). When I went back to work after maternity leave, I started feeling like all our conversations became "business-like". { When was the baby last fed? Who's picking up Ashley from work? Who's going to Meet the Teacher Night? ETC.} We sat down and discussed the issues. Now , we basically call everything a "date" and try to cherrish whatever time we have together. For example, we'll go food shopping together and call it a Shop Rite Date. It sounds corny, but we actually do have fun and get some real conversations going.  Of course, for special occasions DH knows that he better come correct with a REAL DATE, lol.  We both knew we wanted an addition to our family AND that it wasn't going to be easy. I knew that I wasn't ready to give up my job.  I am happy in my career and am treated very well.  So, we have to make due as we were blessed with 3 healthy kids to raise.  ALSO, we promised eachother when we got married that we would take one vacation a year with the kids and one by ourselves.  Even during rough times, we make sure to book a vacation and it is WELL NEEDED. GL and keep us posted.

chrisnjay05212010

i feel your pain and like kate we dont have any kids yet either and it is something that i know will be hard for us once kids come along and it scares me.  I work the regular 9-5 and Jay works 2p-10:30p with most nights working overtime, he doesnt get home at night until anywhere from 12:15am-6:30am the next day.  The nice thing about his job is he rotates days off and swings each week from 2 days or 3 days off so some weeks we get more times then others and his days off are always different. 

There isn't really anything special that we do except try to hang together on the nights he is home, we spend alot of time on the phone catching up and texts. Once in a while we will go out for dinner or something but thats about it.  I wish i had better advice for you.  Basically our whole relationship has been this way so I'm very very accustomed to it

brownsugarbabe

summerbride11:

I feel ya'.  DH and I work different shifts as well (for child care purposes). When I went back to work after maternity leave, I started feeling like all our conversations became "business-like". { When was the baby last fed? Who's picking up Ashley from work? Who's going to Meet the Teacher Night? ETC.} We sat down and discussed the issues. Now , we basically call everything thing a "date" and try to cherrish whatever time we have together. For example, we'll go food shopping together and call it a Shop Rite Date. It sounds corny, but we actually do have fun and get some real conversations going.  Of course, for special occasions DH knows that he better come correct with a REAL DATE, lol.  We both knew we wanted an addition to our family AND that it wasn't going to be easy. I knew that I wasn't ready to give up my job.  I am happy in my career and am treated very well.  So, we have to make due as we were blessed with 3 healthy kids to raise.  ALSO, we promised eachother when we got married that we would take one vacation a year with the kids and one by ourselves.  Even during rough times, we make sure to book a vacation and it is WELL NEEDED. GL and keep us posted.

oooh,...I love these ideas, and no , they do not sound corny, I think that they sound realistic   I think the idea of having a vacation alone and a vacation together sounds perfect....I think maybe we can do a weekend trip or maybe an overnight trip in between our once a year big vacations. and it is soo true that everything sounds like bussiness, like did you pick up diapers, etc. but like you said, I love my career, I guess, its just going to take being creative and making eachother and the family a piority..thanks for the wonderful ideas

ssage

I feel your pain too!  I work the regular 9-5 but am out of the house 12 hours total with the commute.  When I get home, DH and I have one hour together which is really not together b/c we have DD and we are getting dinner ready (or not on most nights...except her dinner) and then he goes to work and I don't see him again until the next AM when he is driving me to the train.  So, on an average day, we see each other for 1.5 hours.  He can only take vacation in the summer and doesn't get holidays off due to his job.  We try to spend as much time together on weekends.  Every other we also have his son which we love but also cuts down the amount of "couple time".  We try to get away every so often or plan a night out on a Saturday when we don't have his son so as not to cut into that time, since he doesn't get much time with him either.