Holidays
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Treats as Christmas gifts
My husband and I have been married for about 7 months and with the holidays coming up we're alittle considered about finances. We're looking for better jobs and planning to save for our first place. Both of our parents have suggested we just give them desserts or cake since it's my current job and I'm pretty good at it. However, I hate that it will come across to family members celebrating with us that we're broke. Especially since we have siblings on both sides that are alittle more financially stable and often spoil others. We understand that Christmas is not about gifts and is about celebrating the Lord. But we still feel bad for not being able to give to others. Thoughts?
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Re: Treats as Christmas gifts
Personally, I don't see why they would automatically jump to the conclusion that you were broke if they received a nice baked gift. Heck, I think a heartfelt, homemade cake or goodie is a very nice and thoughtful gift.
"But we still feel bad for not being able to give to others." - You won't be not giving, you'll still be giving them dessert or cake. But either way, they should definitely be understanding of your situation as newlyweds.
Christmas is not about the gifts first off. Yes, we all enjoy getting gifts, I LOVE presents, and I agree with Finchley that a baked cake or goodie is a nice and thoughtful gift. I have always held the stance that at Christmas, we do what we can. I refuse to break my budget or finances over the holidays. Now, that being said, we don't have kids yet so I am not sure if that could make it hard on controlling the finances at Christmas.
Do what you financially can. If anyone is unappreciative of the thoughtful gift than they forget what Christmas is all about and someone should remind them. I say go for it! And being a newlywed myself I understand your situation and I am sure your family and friends will.
I wish someone would bake me a cake or something as a gift! I am terrible at baking! I would love it. Bake me one! I'll be happy with it. lol Wait, I just remembered that on my birthday a friend who is a baker, made me cupcakes with pink icing (my favorite color). I LOVED IT! it was such an awesome gift!
I don't really think it will come across that you are broke. Maybe they will think you are being wise, cutting back and trying to save for your place together.
I would rather not get a gift from a newly married relative....
And really, who can say no to awesome baked goods?
There is nothing wrong with giving treats/edible items as gifts for Christmas. It's the thought that counts.
Since last year, we have also been tight on money. I made canned jalapeno jelly and apple butter. Then, homemade cookies, crackers, candy, etc and put it all in a basket (peach basket from the farmer market for 25 cents!) and wrapped it in cellophane from the dollar tree. I plan to do the same this year. Everyone loved it, and my MIL even bought a dozen jars for me to fill for her for her Christmas gifts this year.
My parents say they have enough "stuff" -- any gifts need to be consumable!
You can not compare what you have with other people. There's always someone else who will have more, or give more then you can. Also, if they are understanding people aren't going to care that you're "broke".
I do understand the feeling as my H's sister gives A LOT, however she can't afford it and they are now in a very bad place financially. I also had at one time gotten a lot of guff from my H's family because we weren't "giving enough". First of all my H's family is very small compared to mine and the expectation from extended family is that we should be giving to his Cousin's because they are all under 18, which there are only 5 of them, so to them doesn't seem like that much. Put my family in the mix and all of a sudden there are 5 extra couples and 14 nieces and nephews. None of which get anything elaborate and it's usually homemade. My point, you guys need to do what is best for YOU not what you think everyone else is expecting of you.
Every year my mom and I bake huge batches of cookies/treats for our neighbors. We usually include something cute, like one year we brought them over in fancy cookie jars, another year we only baked treats from a certain cookbook, and we gave everyone a copy of the book with their cookies, with the pages of the cookies we baked earmarked. Everyone has always loved this (or so they say!) maybe you could do something like that? Include a Christmas ornament or something cute to go along with it if the dessert itself feels too "blah."
I don't think this comes across as being broke, especially if you have a talent for it. Baked goods are something that everyone knows you put time and effort into so it's a gift from the heart
and bonus points: they're enjoyed by everyone!
What are your husband's issues with this? And what has he typically given as gifts to his family at Christmas? Maybe your idea of giving homemade treats is too drastic a change from your husband's previous gifts to his family? Or maybe they aren't "foodies" who won't appreciate your gifts?