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Talk Me Down
I have so much anxiety right now and I don't even know why. Please talk sense into me.
Background: I work 3rd shift at a non-profit, takes me an hour to drive there from home (43 miles each way). Its pretty rough, and after taxes my paycheck is only around $990. I technically make about $27,000/yr. My husband is in school, so he helps out a bit with his loan reinbursement, and we will have some money coming in November but I am pretty stressed about money. I'm paying back loans as well and even though I was able to get them reduced its still costing me around $800/month.
Anyway, I've been on the hunt for a new job (I've posted here previously under my old name, so my story may sound a bit familar to some).
There are plenty of jobs, but not in the pay range I'm looking for. I really, really need to make enough to get ahead on my loans. I'm not even keeping up with the interest paying the minimum payments right now.
I discovered, and impulsively applied for a non-certified police officer position at a major university. Its not campus safety--its an actual officer position patroling a 6 mile radius of 60,000 people. It also pays minimum 48k a year, and goes up once you're certified. I passed the minimum requirements and am slated to take the fitness test Sunday which I'm not particularly worried about.
The problem? Now that I'm scheduled for the test I am suddenly full of anxiety. Maybe because it seems real now? I'm not particularly fond of change (I hate being new at a job, I always try to get situated asap because I feel so uncomfortable). I think I'd be fine, but I'm extremely nervous.
Also: I'm petite, 5'1, 120 pounds, 23 years old. Could I really do this? I'm not exactly intimidating-looking. I'd be perfect for under cover work or for catching predators, but full-blown cop patrol? I'm not feeling as confident.
Thoughts? Encouragement? Doesn't sound like the job for me? Its not that I'm not tough (my current position works directly with clients and I work completely alone 3rd shift, so I can stand my ground).
Re: Talk Me Down
IMO they wouldn't have been interested in you, and gotten you this far, if you couldn't do it.
You can always quit if it's horrible. But it sounds like a good opportunity.
BUT I would also look at your priorities and reasons for a job. If this is a job you're just doing for the $, it may not be the job for you, at least long term.
Just something to think about.
Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
Don't drink the water.
Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
My H is a police officer and there are people of all different shapes and sizes at his department. All of them are competent and capable of doing the job. So, if this is your only worry then please don't let it get you down! Size and strength may have its benefits in some situations but extensive training (and don't forget you'll have weapons) is what helps you feel confident and safe.
Through my H's position, we've learned that being an LEO is more about mental ability, good decision making, and being able to talk to people more than anything. It takes a special kind of person to do the job, deal with negativity, and upsetting situations. As long as it's something you want and you think you can mentally and emotionally handle then size doesn't matter.
Another thing to mention is that university officers tend to have a LOT less going on, fewer risky situations, etc. A majority of it will probably be noise complaints, drunken behavior, occasional drugs, traffic violations, etc. You may even be bored often which is not always a bad thing.
My H works for the city and regularly deals with serious situations causing him to work over-time. He always jokes that he should have become a university officer because he sees them sitting and talking often and eating doughnuts (that's not to say that they don't ever do anything...it just looks like more fun). 
Plus, depending on the school they often get to take free classes at the university which I think is awesome!
I hope this helps ease your mind a little. Police Academies, training, and hiring processes differ from state to state (I like in KY) but if you ever have any general questions you can page me.
Also, your situation is surprisingly similar to mine because I used to work 2nd and 3rd shift with clients at a nonprofit, lol...I completely agree that it's a stressful job with low pay! Good luck!