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Question for you re the boy staying at my house for Christmas
A bit of backstory: The boy is coming to Canada for Christmas and staying at my (my parents) house. Every Christmas Eve my grandma sleeps over and sleep in my bed while I sleep on a fouton in another room.
I was talking with my mom on the weekend and she mentioned that they were bringing 2 single beds down from our cottage, and that she'd put them in the basement (because my sis is bringing her bed up and needed to make room for it).
My mom said that the boy can sleep in one of the beds in the basement while my grandma was staying over, and maybe also when she wasn't.
I think she was kidding about him sleeping down there all the time, but I'm not sure. I don't actually think that she cares if we sleep in the same room, but we'll deal with that when the time comes.
So my question to you, would you let your adult daughter and her (even older) adult bf sleep in the same bed over the holiday, or would you feel weird about it?
I'm just bored at work, so indulge me 
Re: Question for you re the boy staying at my house for Christmas
Wow, took me a long time to realize that "the boy" was your boyfriend.
As long as I've been an adult (I'm 30 now) my parents have let me and my boyfriend/fiance/husband sleep in the same room while visiting their house.
I don't have kids, but when people come to stay with me, and they are dating, I try to discretely find out if they want to share a room, and if they do, then that's fine with me.
DH (then BF) came home with me the first Christmas we were together and we stayed in separate rooms. I didn't even question it and assumed that would be the sleeping arrangement. My mom probably would have been fine with us sleeping in the same bed, but my dad would not have been, and I felt uncomfortable sharing a bed in my parents house at that stage (I have no problem with it now). Maybe that's also because my bedroom shares a [very thin] wall with my parent's bedroom!
Cecilia arrived 12 October 2012
My parents always made our boyfriends sleep in separate rooms even if they knew we were sleeping together. It's just their rule and we respect that. Sure, we'd roll our eyes and maybe even protest sometimes but actually our boyfriends have always respected it too and would never want to piss them off by pushing it.
Maybe if one of my sisters brings their boyfriend home when they are 40 and living together or something, maybe my parents will be more relaxed but so far my parents have stuck to their guns (and my sisters are 26-30 years old)
How to Play House blog
H and I didn't sleep in the same room when we visited my parents until we were married. I knew that my dad wouldn't have been comfortable with it (even though we were together for 9 years before getting married and lived together for 8) so out of respect for him, H always stayed in a guest room.My brother doesn't have his girlfriends sleep in his room at their house either.
I'm not sure how we'll feel about GFs sleeping over when M is older.
XH and I didn't sleep in the same bedroom in my parents house until we were engaged. But, when my brother was dating my SIL, she slept over all the time. I think with my parents it was more acceptable for a girl to stay in their son's room than a boy to stay in their daughter's room. Double standard for sure.
I've slept in the same bedroom/bed as other boyfriends at their parents house and quite honestly, felt uncomfortable. Even though they knew we were sleeping together...
Same with us. Even when we were engaged we stayed in separate rooms. I respect their choices in their house.
Several times that we stayed with my parents I was staying in the US and dh was going back to the UK. It totally sucked but it was their house.
I think frlcb and I have the same parents! I did long distance with my DH for 7 years and we never got to sleep in the same room at my parents' house! I know what you mean about spending time together. We would sometimes fall asleep watching tv at night and my mom would actually come and get me!
How to Play House blog
We were always in seperate rooms and right after we got engaged my grandpa passed away and my parents put us in the same room. I just think they had other things to worry about and need the space.
DH's parents always have unwed people seperate. Even my MIL's sister and her partner of 15 years or so and they are in their late 60s. Their house, their rules.
I think haven't really thought about it -- I don't even have kids yets -- but in my mind, not until you are at least engaged. That might change in the future.
Whenever a BF came to visit, we always shared a room but not a bed. Maybe, because I only had a twin bed so I usually slept on a air mattress on the floor. (I only had BFs over when I was 18+)
I think my parents knew the jig was up so there was no reason to have me sleep in another room. In the future, if I have a kid and they were visiting me as an adult, then I wouldnt have a problem with them sharing a room.
DH and I were together since we were 17, and he slept over often since we went to different colleges and I would come home on the weekends. We never we able to sleep in the same bed, until my older sister (at that time about 24 - I think) had her much older bf sleepover during the holidays. They did not ask, but he just slept in her bedroom with her. I think bc her BF was like 30 at the time!
Then, I asked my Dad "Why can P sleep in J's room, and T cannot sleep with me???" He said "What makes you think he can't?" I said "Umm Mom" He said "Don't worry, I will deal with her" HAHA Best conversation ever!
After that, DH always slept in my bedroom with me.
DH's Mom has never let us sleep together, ever - though now that we're married I think she feels differently.
I have to agree with PP though - your parents' house, their rules - even if you just want to spend time together before you are separated! So, you snuggle until you are ready to sleep and then go to your bed. You can always get up early (once your parents are up so they know you were not there all night) and go cuddle with him until he wakes up...that's what I usually did! But DH sleeps like a rock, I am not sure about your boy...
If you really want to sleep together, why not get a hotel? Or mention a hotel if your Mom refuses to let you sleep together - then she might change her mind.
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my parents originally were going to try to put H (then bf) into another room but since there were no more bedrooms they agreed to let us sleep in the same room, but I think mainly because we were sleeping on the couches and not a bed. I also threw out the 'he is coming all the way from Europe to visit me and doesn't know any of you, surely you don't expect us to sleep in different rooms, right?' They never minded my brother bringing girls over, just a loosely enforced rule to keep the door cracked.
I would ask and put it all out there, but totally respect her wishes if she says no.
I may get flamed for this, but when my daughter was a senior in high school she was dating a 21 year old and I let her stay at his place (he lived with 4 other guys) and/or let him sleep over in her room on weekends as long as she went to school during the week and kept her grades up. I was of the mind that if they were having sex they could have it any time anywhere so what harm could sleeping in the same bed do? Plus I feel so many kids go nuts when they head off for freshman year at college because their parents are so strict. I wanted to give her a certain amount of freedom while she was still living at home so that this would not happen.
So long story short, yes, I would let my adult daughter's boyfriend sleep in the same bed over the holiday.
My Mom let me have boyfriends stay over since I was 18 years old. She also expected them to stay over with me if they were going away for the weekend and I was staying alone. And we always slept in the same bed. Although to be fair, my room was in an annex outside the house and I had my own access. When I moved out then my sister was allowed to do the same.
My bf before DH and I always slept in the same bed at each others parents houses as well. And he only lived 2 blocks away from me.
I met DH when I was 21 and from the beginning we stayed over at each other's house. And slept in each others bed's. His parents had no problems with it. In fact my MIL once made a comment about 6 months after I met them that went something like 'Next time he wants leg over just say no if he doesn't do that for you' I think I was asking him to pour me juice or something silly like that.
My mom was always really relaxed with my high school boyfriend. He was allowed to sleep in my room since we were 16 and at that point we were not sexually active. I was always really close and honest with my mom and told her once I got to that point....
My H's parents are also super easy with that kind of thing. They have three boys and his mom is a nurse who worked with pregnant teenagers for a few years so she basically gave them the safe sex talk when they were like 11.
Meg I think that it'd be totally acceptable for you two to sleep on the futon together. I'd feel comfortable about it, especially being an adult.
Yip. I think its an old fashioned way of saying it.