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I'm becoming bitter and judgemental
A friend and co-worker just got engaged. She has been divorced for about a year and started dating this guy right after her divorce. He was technically still married but is in the service so was waiting to divorce until they reached a certain point where his now EW would be able to get benefits for life (does this make sense cause I could be screwing it up). Anyway, he is being deployed beginning of year so they decided they would get married before the end of the year. 2nd marriage for both complete with huge a$$ e ring and everything. Small wedding though.
I guess I'm kind of jealous. Here I am divorced for 3 yrs and still can't even get an effin date and she is getting remarried. I'm starting to get bitter and judging everyone and everything. Completely unlike me. Maybe it is time to seek some counseling. I know I have said that I wasn't sure about dating/being in a relationship but I think that is just to protect myself from the disappointment of not even being asked out on any dates. It's not like I'm ugly or don't put myself out there cause I do. Just that nobody wants to date a 40 yr old unless they are 60. Anyone I would want to date in their 40's, wants to date the women in their 30's or younger. It is a vicious circle.
Sorry this turned into a vent. It is just starting to get to me now.
Re: I'm becoming bitter and judgemental
Totally. I get how you're feeling - I went on a bitter streak for a while because of all the "will only date athletic or slender women" on the dating sites. I'm not an uggo, but I'm not a swimsuit model either. It actually took my mom to say "well, some people are single for a reason, and that reason is because they are douches" to get me to shake it off. I'm also paraphrasing here, LOL.
I mean, would you want to date a man who jumped from one marriage into another? Or who is only into younger women? Or doesn't like kids? Hell no. Let other women date those guys. I don't see anything wrong with being judgmental about it though.
All of this. I'm sorry you're having a hard time.
This too! Maybe if you get rid of the negative feelings and energy, the right kind of guy will see this... if you're expecting disappointment, that's all you're going to get and I get the feeling that men sense this? Just a thought, but I really do wish you happiness!!
I firmly believe that if you send negative energy into the world, you'll get it back. Easier said than done not to of course! I struggle with jealously sometimes too.
I would recommend reading Patti Stanger's book "Become your own Matchmaker". It has changed my life and the way I see the process of finding the right person.
Going to see if I can download to my kindle today.
This all the way!
I'm so sorry. I think that we are all guilty of this. I think it's really good that you're acknowledging what you are doing (putting up a wall of "I don't want anyone" so you don't get hurt). I've been there too. The reality is that it's OK to want someone in your life and be upset that you haven't found someone. I think that's NORMAL. I know most of us (myself included) do want the company of another person and hope that we will find a partner someday. It doesn't make you less of anything for admitting that.
I try to be genuinely happy for others, because I know that someday my time will come too. I don't want to only be happy for others if I'm in a similar situation. I also like something that Only said the other day about timelines. Everyone's is different and she mentioned that she refuses to compare her life to other's because what's best for HER may not be what's best for someone else. Hang in there!
I have. I am not very photogenic and nothing ever comes from it.
Bummer! For what it's worth I didn't have any luck with it either. But if you really think the pictures aren't showing the true you, maybe "stage" a few photos and have a friend take some. I know its rough and I'm sorry you are going through this.