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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Has your BF/SO/H ever asked for a BJ?
Speaking of achase's XH, who asked for/expected BJs...
I've never dated anyone who straight up ASKED for a BJ. In a mean or a nice way. And I think I'd be turned completely off by it. No matter the circumstances.
I think oral is something that you have to want to do. I never ask for it. And I wouldn't like it if someone I was dating asked for it. I offer it when I feel like doing it, and I accept it when he offers it to me. Period.
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Re: Has your BF/SO/H ever asked for a BJ?
? Sure. We use our words when we're in the mood for something in particular.
I did once date a guy who thought it was offensive to ask for oral, whether for him or for me. I would normally say that it's indicative of something bad in the big picture, but it's possible that it was unrelated to this guy's overall weirdness.
XH would once in a while, in a joking way...but I knew he wasn't joking. And yes, asking for a BJ is a surefire way to NOT get one.
The FF has never asked for one, but I have a funny story about one. We went to a wedding, I had a lot of wine, and I gave him a BJ on the drive home. The next morning he was putting away the pieces to his tux (he was in the wedding) and found gum on the fly of his pants. Whoopsie
We're kind of going out.
Yes we will ask, it's no big deal.
What am I missing? Why shouldn't SO be allowed to ask? As long as he is respectful and all? I ask for sex all the time...lol
Now now, no need to speak like a kindergarten teacher.
My point is that if you're not in the mood to give oral, it can be pretty not fun. So I don't want to put my partner in that position, and I appreciate that he doesn't put me in that position either.
But it's likely that I'm more particular about oral than other people. Which is why I asked the question.
This exactly. I've asked BF for oral sometimes and sometimes he asks me for it. And sometimes we just do it. There have been sometimes we've said no to each other (for various reasons) and the other one doesn't get mad about it. We just want to please each other in bed and if that's what the person wants....
:::shrugs shoulders:::
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
hahaha true!
But I think this is where communication comes into play. Like my PP mentioned, we both say no if we aren't in the mood. And we don't get mad at each other, we just find other ways to please each other.
I think how you ask and how you handle it is what matters. I would be annoyed if he *expected* it or joked about it.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
good point.
I'm not sure I could escape that conversation without making it awkward though. Even if we were both nice about it. But that's just me
ha.
We communicate openly, and we ask each other for lots of things, oral sex included. Also: back rubs, refils on drinks, sandwiches. We're enjoying voicing our various needs in a respectful way.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Hell, I asked him last night if I could give him one. LOL! Alas, I was turned down because he'd had a very stressful day at work. But that's how we work, communication wise. We can ask each other at any time and we are respectful with our responses pertaining to our moods.
I freaking love it. I never feel bad for asking for something, such a change from my past.
My XH would ask or even attempt to push my head down there....tahts a sure fire to not get one!
My current BF has never asked but ive been "generous" once or twice lol
I don't know, do you consider a text of "8=====>" asking for a BJ? lol He does seem to get a little excited when I use the yawning BBM smiley though..hhmmm...
Honestly I don't have to ask for oral, the man loves it. I love him for that.
I mean I think this is a good dynamic.. even BJs included, haha. I definitely feel like I can ask The Artist anything, and vice versa, but that doesn't mean that it won't possibly be awkward sometimes. I know that's usually my own fault though. It's still fairly new, after all
And I suppose I prefer awkward over rude, disrespectful, or mean.
I'm so with you on this. It's really refreshing to be in something where there aren't a million hang ups.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
But that is where the trust in your partner comes into play. I asked him recently for it but he bit his tongue earlier that day (ha!) and so his tongue was sore (ha, again!) So he offered to please me in a different way. I was fine with that and didn't huff and puff like a child. I was like "yes! I am getting an O!" And I don't feel awkward telling him no because I trust he is going to take it in a mature, adult way.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
LOL! go dmarie!
Yes, both nicely and like a complete a$$.
I am all for asking for whatever you want in bed, as long as they respect my right to say no and don't act like a jerk about it.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Agreed. If either of us doesn't want to, we just say we don't want to, no hard feelings.
Okay, so between this post and the one above, I am a prude about oral.
okay?
okay.
(I did get and give it this morning though, haha. maybe that's why I'm thinking about it...)
Yes, this!
I have no problem being asked to give one as long as he's not demanding one.
<a href="http://s941.photobucket.com/albums/ad259/laurens1122-bfp/?action=view
Mine too!! I don't have to ask, but I like to beg for it
Drives him crazy 
I haven't given him a BJ yet, we always get sidetracked and he says he prefers sex over oral, but I do like to give it on occasion so maybe I'll have to reciprocate next time. 
Damn, now I'm getting horny... LOL!
Right?
Why do you think this is?