Trouble in Paradise
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Is it worse if your husband cheats on you with:
a woman with whom he has been attracted to in the past but never slept with before you got together
or
a complete random stranger?
Re: What is worse?
Cheating is cheating, it doesn't matter who it was with. You get that, right?
This is like asking "is it worse to break your leg falling off a building or in an automobile accident?"
Either way, your leg is broken.
Either way, I would believe the cheating to be pre-meditated. I mean, those things don't just happen. He would have to be thinking about it and wanting it before he actually saw the opportunity and made the decision to go outside the marriage.
it doesnt make one bit of difference cheating is cheating....there is no way that is less offensive.
a man sticking his poker in someone else is cheating, whether he knew her before or not.
Thinking about it some more, I could see how the pre-meditated cheating could feel worse, because this is someone he knew before. It could lead to imagining all kinds of things about what your relationship has meant.
So which did your husband do?
You know, I'd almost rather my H give thought and consideration to the gravity of trashing our vows and ruining the life we've built together by way of forethought rather than wantonly tossing it all away on an irresponsible drunken whim.
Though it's pretty much giant douche vs sh*t sandwich.
This, 110%. Both involved forethought. In both situations, he "knew" he was going to cheat, but in one he knew ahead of time with whom. I can't see any way either of these is worse than the other; that implies one is better than the other.
Both are horrible, but I think physical cheating mixed in with emotional is worse than the physical without the emotional.
Both make the guy a douche, but I *might* (I said might) be able to get past a one time physical thing (with a ton of counseling and hard work on both sides). But I would never be able to get past it if it included emotional cheating as well.
I would have a hard time feeling betrayed by someone I knew (neighbor vs. only H). I also would have a hard time getting the mental pictures out of my mind if the affair was with someone I knew vs. a random stranger.
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The only way it could ever be worse is with my mother.
Being drunk isn't an excuse. Both situations are equally as bad. You don't get a pass for being drunk and having poor judgement. Drunk cheating without knowing the person first is equally as bad as premeditated cheating without alcohol. Both show poor judgement and character.
Thinking about it more, I don't think that I could get over my husband being so easily swayed by another woman while drunk. That would lead me to believe that it would be easy for him to do again and again.