How do you respond?

GirlinLimbo

When you know a marriage is over, when you know you've done everything you can, and when you know your decision is final...

and you're husband, who is great in so many ways, but not great for you, says, "I am going to change myself. I am not going down without a fight." 

I want to be nice, but I have been fighting for this marriage for ten years. The time to wake up and smell the coffee was years ago.

I want a nice reply to this that won't kill him inside, but that will let him know that the gig is up.

 

 

ButternutSquash

I have been fighting for this marriage for ten years. The time to wake up and smell the coffee was years ago. The jig is up.

 There may not be a better way to say it.

stoneylove

ButternutSquash:

I have been fighting for this marriage for ten years. The time to wake up and smell the coffee was years ago. The jig is up.

 There may not be a better way to say it.

This.

gwencortopassi

If you find the answer to this, please let me know.

cutter21

Sometimes, trying to be nice isn't going to get your point across. My ex did the same thing and I tried to let him down easy that there was nothing he could do to save the marriage and it made him clingy and desperate. When I was honest and blunt about being done, he got the point and it made the process easier. I agree with the pp's- telling him you've been fighting for the marriage for so long and it's too late would be a good start!

pbear

In my case it was: Actions speak louder than words

silly.goose

Honestly, there may not be a nice way to do it.  If you want the relationship to be over, someone has to be the one to do the breaking.  It may make you feel like the bad guy, but it also may be what you need to do for you. 

OnlyaFool

cutter21:

Sometimes, trying to be nice isn't going to get your point across. My ex did the same thing and I tried to let him down easy that there was nothing he could do to save the marriage and it made him clingy and desperate. When I was honest and blunt about being done, he got the point and it made the process easier.

This.

And also -- I moved out and started the divorce paperwork. There aren't much better signals than that.

kgettingmarried

stoneylove:

ButternutSquash:

I have been fighting for this marriage for ten years. The time to wake up and smell the coffee was years ago. The jig is up.

 There may not be a better way to say it.

This.

 

Also, this.