Trouble in Paradise
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
is this undermining and disrespectful?
If you have a 4 year old and you tell the 4 year old i need to put your hair up bc you are going to eating a smore. And if the mom told the 4 year old you can not eat a smore if you dont put your hair up.
And your dh in front of the 4 year says the following:I dont think you should tell her that she can not have a smore if you dont put your hair up, is that undermining the mom and showing her disrespect?
Just wondering...
Also, do you find it unacceptabke for your husband to roll his eyes at if he doesnt like something you do? my dh thinks it is ok to roll his eyes at me...
Re: is this undermining and disrespectful?
If disrespectful and being an A$$hole are the same thing then yes i do.
If you tell her to do something he should back oyu regardless if he feels it is important or not. He could have said something to you later on in private. All this is teaching your D is that mom and dad arent on the same page and she will VERY quickly learn to play the manipulation games.
I don't think ths smore incident makes for much on its own. However, if it's indicative of a pattern of behavior, then yes, that's a problem. It's not unusual for couples to disagree on parenting or discipline issues, but you discuss and resolve them behind closed doors after the kidlet has gone to bed, not rightthfuck in front of him or her. If EITHER of you thinks having parenting debates in front of kids acceptable, no matter who's "right" and who's "wrong" on the subject under discussion, you're both just wrong.
As for rolling one's eyes, yes that is disrespectful and contemptuous of you and is not OK under any circumstances. Look up "contempt" and marriage and you will read from experts that it is basically marriage cancer. Just based on the eye-rolling alone I'd say that marriage counseling may be in order so you can learn to resolve differences effectively and respectfully and in a way that minimizes negative impacts on your children.
FTR no one ever put my hair up when I ate smores as a kid and I turned out OK. One does have to learn how not to get food in one's hair at some point in life. Don't coddle your kid to make a point so you can be "right" and your H "wrong," OK? You're all better off making mistakes --like getting sticky food in your hair -- and learning together how to resolve them and learn from them.
You've been posting for months about how unhappy your marriage is and how the two of you just don't get along- has anything changed? Have you made any decisions?
The hair thing seems like a minor issue to get worked up about, but the eye-rolling along with the info from your previous posts is enough for me to say he's an @ss, but you seem to know this & stay anyway.
This.
& to echo others' points... why are you still married to this A-hole?