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How do we explain it to the kids?
'Kay, we're making this short and sweet. MIL & SFIL will be getting divorced, while we're not 100% on the reasons why on his end (probably health related and/or expectations for retirement), we have a pretty good idea. It sucks, but there isn't much we can do about it except worry that he's ill (he went from being his normal self to "OMG you're a conniving beyotch!" seemingly overnight).
How are we going to explain it to DD? She knows that people don't always stay married to each other but she's never been directly affected. SFIL is the closest Grandfather she has and she adores him. MIL told her that he may not move up here when she does but left it there.
What do we do?
Thanks ladies. (Sorry for not being around much, it's been hard getting on the 'puter for more than a few minutes lately).
Re: How do we explain it to the kids?
There is an age appropriate way to explain divorce to a child: "Gma and gpa are having a little trouble and sometimes married grown ups decide not to live together due to the problem.
"Gma and Gpa love you; they will always love you and you will always be a very important person to them and an important part of their lives and yours. You will still be able to see both Gma and GPa."
Make sure you tell the kiddo that their deciding to live apart has nothing to do with her. GL. Hope everything works out for you, your ILs and your youngster.
Yours really aren't that old thought, right? Under 6ish or so? I would just keep it simple. "Grandma is moving closer to us but Grandpa is going to keep living where he is."
She'll ask questions if she needs more information. Should she ask why, tell her grandma and grandpa aren't going to be married anymore. Should she ask why to that, tell her that you don't know but you do know that they both love her very much and they're still her grandma and grandpa.
That should be good enough I think.
Click me, click me!
HS and Tarpon, she's 6 and has already asked some questions. MIL has said "I'll be moving up here soon but Grandpa won't be moving up with me" and left it there for now.
Thanksgiving will be hard as we're going to her house and SFIL won't be there.
Thanks for the helpful advice Binzy
I agree with HS and Tarpon.
Will SFIL still be involved in DD life? If not make sure you do not lie to your DD her "seeing him soon" or something.
A friend of mine broke it off with her BF and she has a 7 year old son and BF will no longer be involved in his life. (as he is not the father, they did date 2 years though). The son was very upset when my friend kept saying "You will see him soon." Soon of course never came and when DS realized this he was not happy his mom was a "lair".