Trouble in Paradise
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Small update on the HOA situation.

So while waiting for our new washer and dryer to be delivered (Still waiting) I heard someone put something on the door. I was changing the baby, so it took me a few minutes to actually go find out what it was. I was thinking it was probably another Chinese takeout menu or another ad of some sort. So imagine my surprise to find yet another letter of complaint from the dumbass I dealt with yesterday.

It was pretty much a compiled list of the infractions he thought we had committed. I say thought, because one of the things he claimed we did was let our dog poop in the grass between buildings. That would be hard for us considering we don't have a dog and I'm fairly certain my DH didn't take a dump on the lawn. So I decided that over the weekend, my DH and I would sit down and compose a letter detailing every rule we planned to break over the next few months. This will include, the use of multicolored Christmas lights and the cat being in the kitchen window. I will add that if the cat being in the window is such an offense to their delicate sensibilities then perhaps they shouldn't skulk around our backyard.

If things continue, especially after our letter is written and sent, then I will be contacting a reporter friend I have who works for our tiny local paper, he has contacts at much larger papers too. It might not even be the whole HOA, it might just be this one crackpot, but either way, something needs to be done.

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Re: Small update on the HOA situation.

  • Yes
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  • I would take a picture of an empty space and say "Here is a photo of my dog that you seem to think pooped on the lawn.  He is either a) a master ninja, b) the first successful test-subject for developing an invisibility serum, or c) non-exsistant.  Which one do you think is the most logical answer to this picture?"
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    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

  • I'd call the reporter right away. You would think if they are nosy enough to find out you have a baby, they would know that you don't have a job.

     

    I would also consider writing "fcuk you hoa" in the multi-colored Christmas lights. I wish you could copy and paste this letter into a post. I want to see what kind of crayon this shiit was scratched out in. 

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  • I wouldn't write a snarky letter, that just makes you look bad.  Honestly, I'd write a letter explaining how each claim is false, and provide any evidence you can.  Cite in your HOA agreement where it DOES or DOES NOT state something (such as seeking approval for having a baby [lol wtf seriously]).

    Then I'd tell them that it is unacceptable for them to continue harassing you and DH for unfounded offenses.  Also, that any further harassment will be handled by your attorney.

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  • imagemmw&lmd:

    I wouldn't write a snarky letter, that just makes you look bad.  Honestly, I'd write a letter explaining how each claim is false, and provide any evidence you can.  Cite in your HOA agreement where it DOES or DOES NOT state something (such as seeking approval for having a baby [lol wtf seriously]).

    Then I'd tell them that it is unacceptable for them to continue harassing you and DH for unfounded offenses.  Also, that any further harassment will be handled by your attorney.

    ITa with this.

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  • Once this is all settled, you might consider getting on the board of the HOA. You know, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." and all that.
    I agree with everything that muddled said. You should listen to her. -ESDReturns
  • imageESDReturns:
    imagemmw&lmd:

    I wouldn't write a snarky letter, that just makes you look bad.  Honestly, I'd write a letter explaining how each claim is false, and provide any evidence you can.  Cite in your HOA agreement where it DOES or DOES NOT state something (such as seeking approval for having a baby [lol wtf seriously]).

    Then I'd tell them that it is unacceptable for them to continue harassing you and DH for unfounded offenses.  Also, that any further harassment will be handled by your attorney.

    ITa with this.

    I agree with this too.  I deal with HOA's and snarky letters and detailing the rules you intend to break will just make it easier for them to fine you. 

    I also agree with Muddled--be the change you wish to see--get on the board, go to HOA meetings and speak up if you don't like how you're being treated.

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  • This HOA is full of crackpots.

    If they know you have a baby, why the heck didn't they pay attention (or stalk you :::shutter:::) enough to realize that you don't even own a dog?! I think its super creepy that they are harassing you like this. 

    What can they do, really? Fine you? What kind of power do they wield?

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  • No snarky letter, you need either the reporter or to go to a meeting and tell them to stop harassing you. The HOA guy has way too much time on his hand and a glee in his heart to make your life miserable. If you have a lawyer or a legal friend get them to help you.
  • imageBettyBookworm:

    This HOA is full of crackpots.

    If they know you have a baby, why the heck didn't they pay attention (or stalk you :::shutter:::) enough to realize that you don't even own a dog?! I think its super creepy that they are harassing you like this. 

    What can they do, really? Fine you? What kind of power do they wield?

    Having been on a HOA board with a similar power-tripper (which is why I ran for the board---to nullify him) they can fine you. If you don't pay or refute the fines, they can (in many states) put a lien against your home. If you don't pay the fines + cost of lien + cost of attorney's fees, they can foreclose on your home, all for the business of your nonexistent dog. Super Angry

  • imageMintChocoChip:
    imageESDReturns:
    imagemmw&lmd:

    I wouldn't write a snarky letter, that just makes you look bad.  Honestly, I'd write a letter explaining how each claim is false, and provide any evidence you can.  Cite in your HOA agreement where it DOES or DOES NOT state something (such as seeking approval for having a baby [lol wtf seriously]).

    Then I'd tell them that it is unacceptable for them to continue harassing you and DH for unfounded offenses.  Also, that any further harassment will be handled by your attorney.

    ITa with this.

    I agree with this too.  I deal with HOA's and snarky letters and detailing the rules you intend to break will just make it easier for them to fine you. 

    I also agree with Muddled--be the change you wish to see--get on the board, go to HOA meetings and speak up if you don't like how you're being treated.

     

    I triple this!  I live in a community with a HOA, and trust me, this is great advice.

  • Don't write the letter.

    Do they have meetings?  I'd pop up in the next meeting and air your grievances.   I'd also use the words "harassment" and "my lawyer" in the same sentence.   I'd also contact your reporter friend.   Nothing will lower home values in the neighborhood more than an article being written that makes no one want to purchase a home there.    If they think multi-colored lights or a baby may lower values, wait until that article comes out.

    And in my state, they can foreclose on  your home, sure.   But, they'd get their just desserts there.   They'd pay thousands of dollars in attorneys fees, and then not see a penny from the sale.  That's why HOA, COA and second mortgages hardly ever file foreclosures.   It's not worth it.

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  • Don't write the letter. I agree that it makes you look as crazy as they are and would make others unfamiliar with the situation wonder if you've been egging them on the whole time. I know you are not, but it's how that could be perceived.

    I would just go ahead and contact your friend in the media!

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  • imageNuggetBrain:
    I would take a picture of an empty space and say "Here is a photo of my dog that you seem to think pooped on the lawn.  He is either a) a master ninja, b) the first successful test-subject for developing an invisibility serum, or c) non-exsistant.  Which one do you think is the most logical answer to this picture?"

     

    LMFAO!  Love this. I wouldn't recommend doing it.. but nonetheless its a funny as hell idea!

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